She's back | Jennifer's Body ✔

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I Anita 'Needy' Lesnicki am a fucking mess but I don't go by that anymore. I am Amanda Dove and why wouldn't I be? Needy is an insane psychotic bitch who killed her best friend. Eventhough she hurt me a lot, Jennifer is the one I miss the most and the one who huants my dreams. Sure that bitch was mean, killed a friend and my boyfriend and the reason I am insane. If it wasn't for her, I would be in my last year's of college living a successful life but now I have to change not just my name but also change my looks. I dyed my hair black, got plastic surgery eventhough some of it is has been botched. Eventhough Jennifer has hurt me more times than I can count, I still miss her a lot. She was my best friend for so long, my first kiss, the person I played in the sandpit, the person I used to share my bed in sleepovers and the person I love.

I feel like I made a mistake killing Jennifer, I know she killed Chip and if I didn't do that, many boys won't be living right now but I wonder if I killed her out of saddness and rage. It feels like a mistake but I guess some mistakes can't be fixed. I killed Low Shoulder in an effort to try and repent for killing Jennifer, I still have the knife. Today is just shitty because today is Low Shoulders 5th death anniversary so every fucking platform is making memorials, even outside of Devil's Kettle, I guess satanists leave quite an impression on the world. Like right now the radio station I'm listening to:

Today we are having a special memorial to the band Low Shoulder as it has been five years since they've been brutally murdered. They were heroes saving plenty of people from a bar that burnt down in Devil's Kettle, a small town. They produced songs that gave citizens hope during times of saddness. We will be playing their most popular song and considered somewhat of an anthem of resiliance 'Through the trees'.

Through the trees, I feel find you...

God, I hate that fucking song. I've actually been doing good and my life is together, at least as put-together as it can be. I try to have friends, the only one is this girl named Sarah but she is no Jennifer and I try to avoid her, I work as a receptionist in a small hotel. It's just that this day is a point when Devil's Kettle stopped having sad shit happen to them. I don't know much about news after Jennifer's death because I was put into a mental institution but I tried to catch up to the best of my ability. I lost contact with everyone that I knew but it makes sense, everyone that I cared about is dead. My mother went far away because she couldn't handle the fact that her little girl is a murder. I don't know where is she now and I don't think she wants me know.

I've been living a normal boring life because I've had enough intensity to last me a life time. But eventhough I want normal, all I can think about is kissing Jennifer one last time and for her to mysteriously be alive. I sometimes think what if I stabbed her tit instead of her heart like she thought I did and she was just pretending to be dead. Maybe one day she will come back and we can be friends again. She killed my boyfriend and I tried to kill her so I think we would be even.

But that's just a distant dream.

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