Becoming Supergirl : Book 2 (The Superhero Series)

Chapter 29

I don't remember how long it's been, probably not more than four days, but it sure did feel like weeks. It's weird how time seemed to be at a stagnant stop when you do nothing but be at a contradiction with yourself. I had been trying to avoid thinking, but I always end up thinking even more. The more I thought, the more I felt the need to be away from Erik. Even though I never gathered enough courage to cut him off completely. We talked, but it was like walking on eggshells because we both were trying to avoid something that had been etched on both our minds and hearts. I had to pretend I didn't care and he had to act that he was okay with it. He was doing his part much better than me.

I couldn't help but hope that it wasn't an act and he really lost his feelings within these few days. It was more believable to me. More acceptable to me than believing that he really falling for me.

But everytime I was anywhere close to believing him, the thought of him leaving stopped me. Even Zac fell for me, but that faded and he left didn't he? Unconsciously or consciously, I was comparing Erik to Zac. If Erik was really the person he showed to be, it was probably the worst thing I was doing to him. Comparing him to a cheater, but even the guilt couldn't stop me from doing so. It was as if everything on my head was in a loop where all the scenarios came to the same end. The end where Erik left.

Sophia picked up her bottle of beer and took a sip. I had chugged down half of mine probably fifteen minutes ago. This was probably the first time I came out of my home after that day and that was only because I had to tell someone about Erik. Till now, there were  The three persons who knew about Erik. Scarlett, Sebastian and Sophia. Scarlett couldn't be here today but both of Sophia and Sebastian wanted me to move on and they had been going on at it since the past two hours. I tried to shut them up but they shut me up instead by coming up with reasons because of which I was afraid to even acknowledge Erik's feelings. Sophia thought it was because I still loved Zac, but Sebastian corrected her by saying that I'm still not over the betrayal I got.

The sixteenth floor slash roof of Sebastian's apartment, was so windy that my hair was in knots by the time I had sat down and gathered my hair in a ponytail.

"Do you know when a person cheats, or feels the need to do so?"

I turned to Sebastian who looked like he was in deep thought. He always was when he's drunk.

"Why?" Sophia asked already sold to what Sebastian was going to say.

I simply shook my head, tilted it towards the twilight sky and closed my eyes. There was still light when we came to the roof but it was mostly dark now.

"They cheat when-" Sebastian paused to increase the drama quotient. "When they lack self respect. When they don't have the minimal self respect to come up and say it on face that things are not working out. Instead they escape."

"Then why do they say once a cheater always a cheater? A person can grow self respect right?" Sophia stated.

Sebastian shook his head. "Self respect can only grow when there's conscience, but whenever you do something wrong for the first time, your conscience eats you up, but when you do it again and again, you've already learnt to subdue your conscience"

"Shut up" I muttered. Not wanting to think about anything related to cheating or cheaters.

"Did you ever realise that you were dating a jerk Trinity?" The question came from Sophia and I glared at her. However that didn't seem to phase her. "Even I didn't but you know what? Fuck 'em"