Nash Grier POV
Ever sense the guys tour I've been feeling kinda depressed. I've never felt this way before. feeling so trapped like , theres no way out. And there's nothing I can do about it.
Because as Y'all know , how everyone says me and Cameron should date. Well the fans aren't the only ones who thinks so.
I have'nt gotten the courage to actually go up to him and say it. Ever sense Jack and Jacks tour I've been thinking about going and actually doing it. But never have , And frankly I don't think I ever will. Because it's the butterflys in the pit of my stomache. It's the sweaty palms. And the fact that he won't like me back. No matter what I do. I wish he liked me though.
He'll never love you. your worthless why are you even here?
Honestly , I'm not sure. That's the only way out right now..... Isn't it?
I've liked him sense Magcon. And ever sense then , I've fallen more and more and more.
As I lay on Cam and I's couch I deside to go thru twitter to burn time wall I waite for Cameron to get back from the store.
I scroll thru and decide to tweet-
'Bored af.... thinking about ya.'
I hit tweet and in a few moments it gets thousands of favorites and retweets.
I look at the responces and realise that thier probably right.
'You fag!'
'just kill yourself. worthless trash.'
'HHAHAHAHA TRASH GRIER'
'just leave nobody wants you here.'
I've tryed learning to not let it affect me but , that doesn't always work.
I read more until its unbearable.
Then I hear the front door open and see Cam walk in wth some groceries.
He looks tired. Or Sad? I can barely tell the difference.
I jump up from the couch , my heart starting to beat 10x faster , and help him put stuff away. As I do i can see him from the corner of my eye just sitting on the counter looking blankly at the ground.
Like he was thinking about something. Deeply , thinking about something.
"Cam? Cameron?"
I say walking to him and he still doesn't do anything.
So I grab his chin making him look up at me with those beautifull caramel brown eyes and almost melt away in my spot.
He just stares at me and I see hurt in his eyes. And my heart tears in two.
"Cam come on lets go into your room and watch some netflix. Okay?" I say making him nod and hop off the counter and sart walking towards his room me following close behind.
"What should we watch?" I ask him as we plop down onto his bed.
"I don't know whatever you want Nash." He says looking at the flatscreen mounted on his wall.
I pick Bates motel and press play.
Halfway thru the episode I look at him next to me and he looks tired.
"Cam are you uh , okay?" I ask him as he snuggles into his old Magcon sweatshirt.
"Yeah , just tired." He says looking over at me lazily.
"Then you can go to sleep." I offer him but he just shakes his head.
"No, not that tired. emotionaly ya know? Like I'm so tired of not being able to say how I feel. Or say what I want. Because I'm afrais of being judged. I just don't know what to do anymore , And it's tearing me apart. I hate the feeling of being helpless and lonely like there's nothing I can do to try and fix it, Nash." He says tears whelling up in his eyes.
