I Always Come Back for You

Chapter 10. Some Things Never Change

Crazy week indeed. After the unfortunate encounter with Dae Sung, I sulked all week which is strange for me to act so moodily and lovesick like a hormonal teenager. Hyung didn't berate me unexpectedly for running off that day and throwing tantrums the way I did. He texted me later that night to see if I was home safe, then hung up while I was staring at my phone like an idiot. Today he called after a week of no contact to tell me to accompany him to a private party for the coming Saturday. I paled for a second 

"Why are you taking me?" 

Is it a trap to get me back to that scary world? Before, whenever Nam Il heard a private party it meant nothing but a night of pure torture. As an idol, he was a mere entertainer up all night to dance, sing and join useless conversations nodding, approving the rich guys' nonsense when necessary, and drink with them when asked, talk pleasantly and kiss numerous assess and offer false compliments as he was ordered to. Those nights were full of the hazy sound of music, uncomfortable clothes, endless chatter, and humiliating performances. Once he was dragged on the stage, after a session of nonstop drinking French wine to perform a song and when one of his bandmates passed out right away he was told to keep singing and dancing while Min Ki was still on the floor. That humiliating memory sends a rushing burn to my blood. Hyung can sense my reluctance 

"Don't worry. I'm not planning to take you back to that kind of world. You're just a guest. This party is held for this high and mighty movie producer who is against the type of entertainment we offer. So, it's a safe environment with nice people and music. I thought you might be bored and a party would do you good. What do you say?" 

"Are you sure you want to take me? Usually, people bring their partners to these events." 

He laughs "It's ok. You are kind of my partner. Partner in crime. Do you own a suit?" 

"I can rent." 

"No need. I'll send you one."

"Ok. Thanks."

*

When the suit was delivered to my house on Friday evening, I already had a feeling that Hyung had something in mind and that suspicion was confirmed when I opened the cover to find the Navy-blue Armani suit that Nam Il had worn on a night the band was nominated for a music award. In that ceremony, Nam Il tried to break the norms of wearing black and after receiving permission for an unorthodox suit with a white collar he got to wear the said suit. I have a mixed feeling wearing this suit, examining myself in the mirror. Is Hyung trying to turn me to Nam Il and why does that bother me? I accept Nam Il and its extensions. Am I jealous of him though? That's not good. I just met Hyung and he knows me for a few weeks but he was with Nam Il for a decade. Of course, he tries to connect to that part of me that he is more accustomed to. No hard feelings. I look good in this suit however I guess Nam Il was a bit larger than me since the suit is lacking just a little on the sides. Yet it looks good on the white shirt. I don't have much sense of fashion so I had to look up how to wear a suit and what comes with it the best. Still, in these borrowed clothes, I feel like a crow painted like a parrot. When Hyung comes to pick me up he gives an approving nod 

"You look good in that color." 

" He looked better in it. I feel like a child secretly wearing his father's suit." 

Hyung seems concerned "You don't mind. Do you?"

"No. I like the color and the story behind it." 

The banquet is held in a fancy little hotel, Victorian style with an unexpectedly spacious lobby. There are circle tables around the lobby for the guests and a platform put up for the sake of entertainment that the mere sight of it makes my stomach sick and revolting. There are some familiar faces from the movie industry that I have never met in person. I mean Nam Il hasn't had the chance to meet those people. It's not that crowded and a guitarist is playing a psychedelic tone. Hyung takes us to the middle of one of the tables and after greeting the people at the table Hyung introduces me as his foreign friend. I actually expected him to introduce me as something like an apprentice or a subordinate. The people at the table are introduced as well; a movie director and his wife and another lady who is an uprising actress. She tries to speak English but when she realized I understand her very well, starts to ask me questions about the places I have been to. I nip at the fruit placed on my table and chat with her till they announce that a group is coming up for an upbeat performance and something feels awfully wrong with my body. The girl group containing four singers in very short skirts comes up and is applauded by the polite crowd. I took my medicine today then what is wrong with me? They start singing and my vision starts to get blurry, making it hard for me to follow their fast movements on the scene. One of my ears starts buzzing and my heart rate gets frenzy. Memories of me dancing on the stage while my muscles were begging me to stop and my feet were numb from all the stretching, smashes me like a wind in a meadow. I close my eyes and reach for the untouched glass of whiskey in front of me while Hyung's hand find it faster than me to push it far from my reach