Smile for me! - Mark Tuan ff

03

Aideen P.O.V

People say that when life gives you lemons make lemonade out of them. Or something like that... Indicating that we need to make something good out of the bad things.

But can we always do that? Can we find the light in the darkness? Finding that light takes time. Sometimes it's easier to just stay in the darkness than fighting to get out of it. You get comfortable with it. It hugs you like a worm blanket. It makes you feel good as the time goes by. But if it feels so good then why does everyone say to get out of there?

Darkness is a nightmare dressed like a daydream. There is nothing good about it. The 'good feeling' that we feel is just an illusion. An illusion that you get used to. That makes you feel like this is where you belong. The comfort you feel isn't real. You are just used to the pain. And you become numb. The longer you stay in there the harder it will be to get out. Darkness tricks your mind into thinking all the possibilities and ways you can damage yourself and your life. And the moment we decided that this is the way we are going to live that's the moment when we've killed our light.

Can you get out of there? Sure!

But can you actually do it? Can you find that light? You can barely find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, can you find a reason to find that light again?

You should seek the light!

Be cautious of your surroundings! That light can come in all sorts of forms, as a friend, as a family member, as a co-worker , as a lover , as a job offer, anything actually. It may take you a while to catch on. So take up chances and risks. Everything can help. Do anything you can to help yourself and get out of there. Start by doing small things, get used to with those little changes than go on with bigger ones. Start doing things FOR you and not for others. Do what makes you comfortable with your life and on your skin. Don't worry too much. Everything will get better as the time goes.

We got to accept that what has happened can not be undone. We got to accept it and we need to move on. We need to work for it so it can become better , if you can, if it is on our hand. Don't just give up. Fight !

You will tell me : "What about things that aren't in our hands? Illnesses? Deaths?''

We can not control everything. We can not fix everything. We can not prevent things from happening. We can not see into the future or predict it. We can not change or fix the past. We are not God. but there is one thing that we can do and that is accepting and working. Meaning that we should acknowledge the matter and work so it can get fixed or at least to get a little bit better. Some things need more time than the others. Some are hard to accept but that doesn't mean that you should just surrender to that fact. It's hard , but not impossible. But don't just let yourself drown the darkness.

Life is too short to be spent in the dark...

I got out of that meeting as fast as I could. All that was ridiculous! What the hell was her problem? I normally wouldn't care much but when she said your kind made my blood boil. We got what we got, maybe not by the best way possible but i can not change what the hell my father has done. Do I support it? Not really, but what can I do? He did it now. But I think that her actual problem was me or my family. I think it was with the fact that Dr. Tuan was going to be my new doctor. I don't see where the problem is , but clearly something is going on.

I got my phone out and called a friend that I've made here. Older than me, but for sure his acts show different. After a few rings he picked up.

Hello mah lady!

Hello there! Where are you?

At work. Some of us got to make a living you know?!

Lucky me, I guess. I don't need to because im dying soon.