just an empty shell

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Louis
It was a couple of days before the Brits and Louis was finalizing his outfit. He hadn't gone out of his way to do so, but the suit he ended up choosing was a deep emerald green. He had subconsciously picked the suit that was the closest color to a certain someone's eyes. Liam told him he shouldn't be worried about wearing green because Harry wears blue all the time, which Louis of course did not know. Actually now that Louis thinks about it...almost every single piece of clothing that he owns has some form of blue and green on it...how did this happen...He even almost had the cover of Walls be a photo of him wearing blue and green pants but he thought better of it at the last minute because he thought it would be too obvious. He had no problem being subtle about hints here and there but throwing it out in the open on the cover of an album that would be seen around the world was a little bit too much for him to handle.

Sometimes he would ask Liam how he thought Harry was doing and Liam would tell him things that he's heard on instagram or online. When Liam told Louis about the Vogue cover that Harry did, Louis couldn't help but feel extremely proud of him, even though he never dared to look at the pictures himself. Being able to express himself always seemed like it would forever be an uphill battle but here he was now, exploring his sexuality freely. All he wanted in that moment was to hug Harry for days, but he couldn't.

This is what he wrote in his folder today:

'the mirror shows me an image of myself
but that is not what i see.
i see and empty shell of what used to be me
with the ghost of you
floating inside.'

He was thinking about the heart tattooed on his arm: full on the outside and hollow within. It left room for someone else's heart to fill in the gaps. Harry had always been the one to fill in the gaps when it came to Louis. Now he was gone and Louis felt empty.

*phone starts ringing*

Louis answered the call and Liams smiling face looked up at him.

"Show me the outfit you picked mate, you know I have amazing taste!"

Louis laughed and responded, "Liam if you think you have good taste you're living a lie."

Nevertheless he still walked over to the table where the suit was laying out and he flipped the camera to show his best friend.

"You'll look like an avocado in that mate." is all Liam said, laughing and waiting for Louis' response which he knew would be priceless.

"I'm not fucking wearing it anymore mate I've made up my mind now. You know I hate avocados Liam!" He tried to sound angry but really he just ended up laughing. They talked for a bit longer and when they hung up the call Liam was left feeling very proud that he had seen his friend genuinely smile, and Louis was left feeling incredibly grateful to Liam for taking his mind away from reality for an hour or two. What did he ever to to deserve Liam? He could never figure it out.

El was coming by later to take the dogs out which Louis was greatly looking forward to. He had recently put a blue and green collar tag on Cliff which he was sure would end up on El's instagram story at some point, meaning he would be able to slip another hint out. He wasn't sure why he still did these things seeing as they weren't together anymore. Maybe it was because if he still had fun dropping hints it reminded him of when he and Harry would do it together, waiting to see if people would figure it out. She didn't seem to mind either because if there was something related to both Harry and Louis on her story the number of viewers she got skyrocketed leaving her with more money per post. Louis didn't mind that she used him for clout for the most part, he just wished that she would eventually be able to just do it herself. It was quite sad to see her have to rub off of Louis' fame, really...He had always thought that she might have been happier if it weren't for Simon brainwashing her into thinking anything was worth doing regardless of the morality behind it if the end result was money and fame....

But let's face it, everyone would have been happier without Simon.
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Harry

'if i asked you to dance again, would you say yes?'

These words had been playing over and over in Harry's mind for the past few days. Had these words really been meant for him? All of these years he had been pushing himself away from the thought of Louis and the seemingly long lost hope of getting him back, but here Louis was publicly making a reference to their relationship, and it wasn't hateful or spiteful. It was endearing. Maybe he was overthinking it but when he got out of bed that morning he felt a small ounce of hope creeping back into his mind.

He had decided weeks ago on what he was going to wear to the awards. He had selected a pale yet vibrant blue set that featured ruffles somewhat resemblant of the dress he had shot in for his Vogue cover. Naturally he would also be wearing his pearls and his rings as accessories. He honestly didn't even think of his rings as extra accessories anymore, they were simply a part of him. A part of who he was and who he has become. Each one symbolizing a part of his life. Obviously the 'peace' ring was the most important one. That ring never came off of his finger. Ever.

For a moment he considered playing some of Louis' music just so that he knew what he was getting himself into for the awards, but he decided against it. He wanted to see Louis when he heard his voice for the first time in years. He wanted his first reaction to be real, whatever it was. Instead he sat there mulling over his plan in his head. He had been thinking it over in his mind since the other day in the studio with Mitch and Sarah. He hadn't decided yet whether he was going to tell Mitch before the show or not. He would probably decide two minutes before they went on stage. After all, it's hard to hide something from your best friend.
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A/N
so what do you think his plan is?!🤔😂

also whose pov are you preferring more at this point? should i keep alternating them?

thank you for reading and voting🤍💙💚

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