Where They Go

Chapter Nineteen: Beat Around The Bush

While the idea of confiding in Zoey sounded great, it brought up an issue. How was she supposed to tell Zoey about her feelings in regards to her identity without directly telling her, "You're the cause of all these new feelings"?

She could make up someone.
She could project all the things that she felt for Zoey onto someone completely imaginary.

By doing that, she could confide in Zoey without giving herself away.
The fact that she loved Zoey would be kept a secret, at least until she was ready to tell her the truth.

Her plan was set. Whenever the right time came up, she could bring all of her confusing, queer thoughts to Zoey and hopefully gain some insight as to what was going on.

The "right time" came up a few days later, when they sat on Zoey's trampoline, taking a break from jumping around.

Erin had been zoned out, staring up at the clear blue sky, thinking pensively.
"What're you thinking about?" Zoey asked, turning to lay on her side.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What's up?"

Erin let out a deep breath. Her plan was about to be executed.
"When did you, um, when did you realize you liked girls?" She questioned nervously.

She wasn't nervous about the answer, she was nervous about spilling out all of her deepest feelings, even if it was under the guise of love for someone else.

That question caught Zoey off guard.
"Oh, I guess I knew in middle school, when I just... started having crushes on girls. Why are you asking?"
"Well, I've never really liked girls until... recently." Erin admitted. She glanced over at Zoey, who looked very intrigued by what she'd just said.

"You like a girl? Who is it?" Zoey questioned eagerly.
"Oh, well, you, you wouldn't know her. She goes to my- our school, since you'll be going there in the Fall." Erin stuttered.
"Tell me about her."

Erin thought hastily for a minute.
"Her name's... Zee." She started.

Well, that was very on the nose. Out of all the names there were, why did she pick, "Zee"? She could of picked something a little less obvious.

She had already said it, though. She had to keep going.
"She's tall, kind of pale, really pretty. She's very funny. I like a lot of things about her."

She went on for a little while, telling Zoey all about "Zee".
Once she had stopped talking for a moment, Zoey spoke up.
"So, she's your gay awakening?" She asked, partially joking.
"I guess so, though I don't think I'm gay. I've liked boys in the past, sort of."

Zoey looked at her, confused.
"What do you mean, 'sort of'?"
"I don't know. I've just never felt like this around guys."

"Well, you might be gay, or bi, or something else. You don't need to worry about figuring it out. You'll know when you know." Zoey said reassuringly.

Erin had gotten exactly what she wanted, though while she was rather happy, Zoey was feeling something quite the opposite.