𝘚𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 - DNF

Chapter 19: Do I Wanna Know?

Chapter contains- Drinking.

Thursday 11:59 pm

It's been almost a week since talking to clay. He hasn't seemed to forget about me. I haven't forgotten about him either.

Oh god he's on my mind more than anyone else. He's not mine. He shouldn't be occupying so much space in my mind. The smell of him wanders in my nose. I may not remember the day we met but I do remember the feeling of when we first really met.

Soon Clay would realize I wasn't worth his time.

—Friday 12:00 am Clays POV

Nobody was home. I was all alone in my room. I looked across the room and saw my electric guitar sitting there. I decided to play it.

I got up set it on my lap and started playing Do I Wanna Know?

Crawlin' back to you
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?
Cause' I always do
Maybe I'm too busy
Bein' yours
To fall for someone new
Now, I've thought it through
Crawlin' back to you

So have you got the guts?
Been wonderin' if your heart's still open
And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts

Do I have a chance? Do you think about me when your drunk George? I'm down for you. You've already stolen my heart.

I started playing again.

Simmer down an' pucker up, I'm sorry to interrupt
It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of tryin'  to kiss you
I don't know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to

You've stolen my heart George. My mind cannot stop thinking about you. The way that your lips touched mine. When we danced out in the rain. When your eyes met mine. When our hands touched. When we first met.

The song we danced to was playing in my head once more. The night that I held you in my arms. When you were smiling while I told you how we met.

I could remember the drunk smile you had on your face too.

After all these days of not being able to get a hold of you my mind still seems to think about what we used to have. It thinks about how beautiful you are and how much you've been hurt.

If I could tell you I'd never purposely hurt you and you'd believe me I'd tell it at the top of a mountain. I'd scream my heart out for you if it meant you'd love me too.

I'd leave you and willingly meet you in a year if it meant you'd text me back. I would possibly go bankrupt for you too.

But would any of that matter if you wouldn't do the same back? Have I really fallen for you so hard where my brain Can no longer function when I'm not even thinking about you?

I need you. I want you. Please text me George. I miss you.

—Friday 1:45 am

I grabbed my phone and started texting a few people. Half kept bringing up the situation of George and this girl named Layla. They asked if I knew anything about it and if I was ok with him being bi.

I will always be ok with someone being bi. And no I didn't know anything about the Layla situation. I'm guessing they used to be friends or something.

I could breathe without him but I wish I couldn't so then I'd have a reason for him to stay.

I got up and decided to go out. What was open at 1 am you may be asking. Gas stations. And you know what they sell at gas stations? Red Bull's.

I got my skateboard and I rode away to the nearest gas station. Which wasn't actually too far. It was atleast 10 minutes away.

Once I got there I took out my money and bought the Red Bull and I walked out.

There was a car parked out where you get gas. Then I saw an average tall boy with brunette hair. The bright light shining onto his somewhat pale skin. His eye bags showed. The car wasn't his car.

I walked over and I opened my Red Bull. He looked over. I stared and he did too. He looked down. I kept starring at him. I walked over there. He looked back up and our eyes met.

"Hi." I took a sip and he looked back down. I'm guessing he didn't want to make eye contact. I leaned back on whoever's car this was.

"Hey." He took a deep breath.

"Are you stealing cars?" I took another sip.

"No. It's my moms. I didn't want to be at her house and I left my car at my dads house." He grabbed my Red Bull and took a sip out of it.

"I paid for that yknow." I'd let him take all my Red Bull's even if I paid for all of them.

"We should talk clay."

"Right now?" I asked.

"Clay I'm sorry I ever hurt you." I nodded. He truly did hurt me. Sapnap kept asking me if I was ok and he only does that when he's truly worried.

"It's fine."

"I have something to tell you."

"Dont tell me if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel forced to say shit to me." That came off rude.

"No. I should tell you." He took a deep breath and I stood there and watched as he composed himself.

"I used to have a girlfriend. Her name was Layla. It was great at first and then after like a few months of dating I found out she cheated on me. I told her I was bi before we started dating. She sometimes texts me saying she wants me back but she's not the girl I want. I don't want any girl at the moment. I'm not ashamed of being bisexual it's the hate and I'm scared of being beat up." He sighed and leaned back on his moms car.

"Oh. I'm sorry George. You don't deserve to be outed without it being on your terms. You deserve better." I stole back my Red Bull and took a sip.

He slid down to the floor. His knees up to his chest but his eyes sit meeting mine.

"I like you clay. But I don't want everyone to know." I stood there in silence.

"Dumb question but do you like me too?" He looked down at his shoes.

"Yeah. I do." I sat down next to him. I held my hand out so he can hold it. He held it. His hands fit perfectly in mine.

"You have my heart now Clay. Don't break it." He looked up at me. He took my Red Bull from my free hand and started drinking it. Soon enough he finished it.

"I wouldn't even if I had the chance." We sat there holding hands at 2:45 am. I would never forget this day.

"Can I call you mine?" He put his head on my shoulder.

"Only if I can call myself yours." I smiled at him.

He nodded. I'm his.

I skateboarded away and he drove away. We'll meet again lover boy.

—Ayo? Red Bull nights hit different. Anyways I feel like I'm getting back on track with everything that's going on in my life. I hope you're all doing alright. Thoughts?

Love you all please remember that someone out there does love you.