𝘚𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 - DNF

Chapter 9: Im sorry.

Sunday 3:28 pm

We don't talk about how I broke down and cried in front of Clay. We don't. And I need to make sure he never brings it up. It was a mistake. A mistake that is never to be made again.

I can't let people see how bad it can sometimes get in my life. How I can cry until it's 2 in the morning hoping someone I lost could come back. Hoping that I could still be with her and wishing I was enough. Clay can't know and he never will.

He's going to leave sooner or later and I can't do anything to change that. A part of me hopes that he can be the one to change it all. The one to change my life. The first person I could love again after all this heartbreak and misery. Maybe he will be.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I like him in a platonic way.

Text message: Clay

Clay
Im sorry.
3:39 pm

You
What?
3:40 pm

Clay
I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable at the party. I understand we just met and it's not my place. And I wanted to say sorry before I asked you something. So I'm sorry
3:41 pm

You
Its fine. I don't like opening up to people. What the question?
3:41 pm

Clay
Um prom is coming in a few days and uh I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me 😁
3:42 pm

Holy shit.
Maybe Clay could be the one to change it all. Maybe he could be the one to show me love once again.

You
Hell yeah
3:42 pm

Clay
Ok great um I'll see you Monday and we should make plans for Friday since it prom I guess
3:44 pm

You
Ok great I'll see you then 😄
3:45 pm seen

Was it a date? Maybe. Am I going to ask? No because I'm not going to ruin the moment.

I think Alex should know about this. So I called him.

"ALEX"

"George what the hell do you want?"

"Guess what!"

"What?"

"Guess Alex!"

"Just tell me stinky boy."

"I got a prom date kind of." I was smiling really hard right now. I was genuinely excited.

"What?! Who is it?!" He was confused. I was still stunned by the whole situation but I was happy nonetheless.

"You know him. We met at a party."

"No way you got tall, blonde, hot ass kid to ask you to prom?!"

"Yes!" For once I thought of my dad. Maybe he'd be mad or maybe he'd be happy. Maybe he'll be proud of me for getting asked to prom somehow.

"That's great! Hey look I got a date too so maybe we should go shopping for suits or something."

"Wait, who's your date to prom?"

"It's not an actual date but me and Karl and Sapnap are going together. I just want to look nice."

"Ohh I see. Alright talk later?"

"Yeah of course!"

Call ended: Alex the uglie

This moment was one of the best things to happen to me. Now, I needed to tell my dad. I didn't need to but I feel like he should know. Who knows maybe he'd be able to help me with guy problems some day.

I might just be getting mixed signals from clay. He holds my hand and he calls me cute not verbally but through eye contact, and asked me to prom? That's something I'd do if I liked a guy.

And if he's just playing with my feelings well then I guess he's missing out on something amazing like me.

—Sunday 11:23 pm.

It was late but I couldn't sleep. Also my dad got home early today. There was no sun shining outside and I could hear the cars driving by and the dogs barking at each other.

I grabbed my phone and my skateboard. I walked to the front door and left. I got on and I rode away.

It was dark. Lights shining yellow on the road that I was using at the moment to get to wherever I was heading to. I had nowhere to be. The dark blue sky and music blasting in my ears.

The feelings washed away from the cold air that hit my face just in the right places. The sight of stars shining down on me as if they were falling right beside me while I rode away into the night.

It's going to be hard to see you go. To see you leave me with alone with my thoughts and the stars. You've got me feeling some sort of way. A way no one has ever made me feel.

When I rode past a house a dog would start barking which made me fully aware of where I was. I was at Alex's house which is 20 minutes away from mine.

I didn't want to be here. So I left. Dogs barking. The sound of crickets. The sound of my wheels riding along the blacktop of the road. The sound of rocks moving and the sound of my music playing.

Come a little closer, then you'll see

Come on, come on, come on,

Things aren't always what they seem

Come on, come on, come on

I stopped. I had reached a bus stop. Obviously no busses would be coming but it was nice to take a breath and focus on what I was feeling at the moment.

I could feel myself holding my breath trying to calm down.

Heartbreaks, the heavy world's upon your shoulders

Will we burn or just smolder

Someone walked by. A cigarette to their lips. They looked around my age and sat down next to me.

"Try?" He looked up at me.

"I don't smoke." I looked up at the starry night. I could smell the smoke. I looked at him and I saw his glimmering eyes met mine.

"Alright." He got up and left.

—

I got back to my house. While I was at my front yard I saw a car. I recognized the dark blue SUV.

Mom.

— for the sake of the story George is going to get better mentally. I know getting better mentally isn't as easy as it was in this story. If you're going through something please remember I'm care and my dms are open for anyone! Love you all

Thoughts on the chapter?