Don't Let Me Go

Tomorrow

 I have been up all night furious about Asa and Makenzie. How could he do this to me? My best friend. How could SHE do this to me? 

I curled up in my bed, put my head in my legs and just sobbed. I sobbed so hard that I was losing my breath and started coughing really bad. My mom rushed into my room. "Emily! whats wrong?" she asked sounding very worried. "Asa and Mackenzie."  I told my mom not even looking up. I coughed some more. "Oh Em." she moved closer to me. She put her hand on my knee. "Don't worry about him Emily." my mom said trying to cheer me up. "I love him, mom." I said taking a big breathe between each word. I sobbed more. Coughed more. "Emily stop!" I kept coughing and coughing and coughing. I wiped my nose with my hand, looked down, and my hand was covered in blood. I coughed some more. Everything was suddenly so bright and I just started smiling so big. "EMILY STOP!" my mom screamed. I heard her voice crack from trying to keep tears back. "Its okay." I said taking deep breaths, smiling again, letting go. In a matter of seconds, everything was like a dark paradise. 

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It took me about 5 minutes to wake all the way up. I woke up to me having a panic attack. I was breathing so hard and started coughing some more. I then realized I was in the hospital. Great. Exactly what I need right now. I looked to my right, and saw my mom sitting in the hospital chair. She rushed out of her chair and came right over to me. "I love you so much Emily." She said putting her head in my lap, crying. "Mom, what happened?" I was starting to calm down." You don't remember what happened?" my mom asked. "I have no idea." I said confused as to why I was at the hospital. "You had a horrible nose bleed because of calcium drop, stop breathing for awhile." my mom said. Wow. Asa does really take my breath away. "So what happens now?" I asked my mom. "They are gonna keep you in here for awhile to watch you over night and so they can pump the medicine directly into you." she said. "Okay, well its late, I'm gonna go to bed. Night, i love you mom." "I love you too."

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I woke up at 10:30 a.m to nurses rushing into my room again. They all told me to stay calm. They quickly put an IV in me faster than you could say "Asa Butterfield." I was getting really light headed. My mom rushed over a cold rag for me to put on my head. The nurses were finally done. They said that I was getting really hydrated and that my pulse was slowing down so they wanted to pump some fluid and medicine into me. I started crying. Why me? Why this life? I looked over at my mom. "I have to call Asa. I have to see him."  I demanded. "Are you sure sweetie?" she said reassuring me. "Positive."

She handed me my phone and I texted Asa. 

Asa, I need to see you.

Sent.

Asa- Where are you?

Me- Hospital. I need to talk to you. 

When he arrives at the hospital, I am planning on telling him about me. Everything. Every little detail. 

Asa- Be there in 15. 

I throw my phone on the bed. "Mom, he is coming." 

I put on my wig so he didn't walk in and see me bald and freak out. As I waited, I ate breakfast and watched Supernatural. While I was in the middle of fangirling over Jared and Jensen, Asa walked in. Here goes nothing. 

"Hey Em." he said with a disappointed look on his face. "Hey Ace." He came over and sat on my bed. I paused the show. He put his hand on my leg. "How are you?" he asked as his voice cracked and became deeper. "Good.. kinda." He quickly stood up "Listen. About me and MMackenzie-" he looked over at my mom and stopped talking. "She knows." I said. "I'm so sorry." he apologize to my mom. "I will leave you kids alone, Emily, if you need anything, I'll be in the cafeteria." she walked out of the room. It was so awkward sitting in a room with your boyfriend when he just cheated. "Emily, listen, it was a mistake." he said. "So you kiss someone by accident?" I asked sounding kinda bitchy. "That's not what I meant." he said getting worried. "Then what do you mean? You can't even tell your girlfriend that your an actor, and then you go and cheat on her when she is in the hospital." I said getting pissed. "Emily, when you say it aloud it sounds horrible." he said with tears coming down his cheeks. "BECAUSE IT IS." I yelled, and then started coughing. "Are you okay?" Asa asked. "Yes. Now get out." I pointed to the door. He slowly walked that direction. "Bye Emily." he said. "Bye."

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Right when he shut the door, I called my nurse. I needed to tell Asa about me having cancer, this cheating thing just got to me. A nurse rushed in and I told her that I wanted to be pushed outside. "Here sit in this wheelchair." she said bringing a wheelchair in the room from outside the door. 

We hurried down the halls, into elevators and outside. When we exited the hospital, I told her I could take it from there and that I will be in soon. I rolled myself as fast as I could trying to find Asa and hoping he hadn't left yet. I finally slowed down. There he was, sitting on a bench, crying. I rolled over to him. It was freezing outside. Plus it was raining, so that made it worse. "Asa." I said quietly. He looked up. When he saw me he stood up and walked over to the wheelchair. "Emily, I'm so sorry." he said once again. I didn't say anything. "And since you are already upset with me, I should be straight up honest and say that I'm going to the United States to film a movie." My heart dropped. "So what does this mean for us?" I asked, nervous to hear the answer. "I don't know." 

I really didn't want to tell him at that moment but I had to. I slowly took off my wig. I put it into my lap and just felt the cold air, and the rain hit my bare head. "Emily.." Asa said. "Asa." I said back. "You have cancer?" he asked even when he knew the answer. "Yes. I was in the hospital with cancer, and you made out with my best friend." I said sounding bitchy once again. "Yes Emily, and I am sorry. I regret every bit of it. I love you. I love you so much. And I don't deserve a beautiful girl like you." He said, crying still. "I'm beautiful? even like this?" I asked. He came closer to me and kissed my bare head. "Yes. Even like this, I am not going to the United States, I will wait until you are better." he said. "No Asa, go. Really." I said sounding upset. "No." he said. He grabbed my hand and gestured me to stand up. I slowly stood up. He put his finger on my chin and raised my head. "You are beautiful, Emily. Please forgive me." he said.

The thing about Asa, is that you can't stay mad at him. I just stared into his baby blue eyes and wispered "Shut up and kiss me." He grabbed my face with both hands and we just stood out in the rain kissing. I stopped for a moment, catching my breathe. "I love you." I said. He just smiled and kissed me again. 

When we were finished, he sat me back down, put my wig on for me and wheeled me inside. He kissed my cheek and then said "Thank you for not giving up on me. I will see you tomorrow Emily." he said kissing me one last time. 

"See you tomorrow." I said as he walked away.