Arranged Marriage// dreamwastaken x reader

Chapter 38

My mind is a battlefield with two versions of myself fighting each other.

On one hand, fuck Dream. I can't stand the position he has put me in.

On the other hand, I want to fuck Dream. Like he could put me in any position.

I have never been so confused and conflicted in my life. I used to do the same thing every day like it was a routine I was forced to follow. Nothing remotely interesting ever happened, but now it is like I can't live a normal day.

I think of everything Dream has done for me and I think of everything he has made me feel and all I can wonder is, if it is enough.

Maybe I spent too many days in the flower field pondering a perfect life with a guy I thought to be without flaw. A perfect but boring life.

But today is the day. Today is the day I stop dreaming of stars when it is daytime. Today is the day I stop wishing for a sprinkle of rain in the desert. Today is the day I accept my reality and find a way to make that the best version I can make it.

I don't knock on his door when I arrive at it. I feel like we are long past common pleasantries.

He is sitting there at his desk with his head in his hands.

I take a step further on and this time he turns to the sound of my shoe hitting the floor.

"(Y/n)?" he questioned.

I take another step in and close the door behind me.

"I am never going to agree with the decision you made but George says you have a plan and I would like to hear it."

I see his shoulders look less tense as he motions me over to sit on his bed. I follow pursuit.

Once I am finally sitting down he turns his desk chair to face my body. "I know it is going to sound ridiculously crazy so keep an open mind. But I gave Wilbur a hell of a ton of TNT. He is going to blow up L'Manburg on Friday."

My head began to circle around the information. Blowing up L'Manburg does make the Tommy issue very minute in comparison.

He continues on, "I know it is a lot but it is honestly the best we had. But there is a great chance that it will break out into a fight of us versus Wilbur and his recruits. We need are contracted to be on Schlatt's side due to the contract if he asks for our help."

Another battle is something I have been wrapping my head around for awhile now ever since the election happened. I don't think it would be wise for us to elect out of it but that doesn't mean I want to be the one trying to kill my old friends. If you asked me a week ago I would've said hell yes but now I don't think I could.

"I would like to stay here." I respond.

"Yes of course, I can arrange for someone to stay here with you. George probably needs the sleep anyways," he says unhesitant.

I don't think he has been getting much from the eye bags that are engraved below his brown eyes. Maybe it would be good for him to stay back.

"Is that all you wanted to say," Dream asks with both curiosity and hopefulness in his voice.

I began to say something, like really say something.

I don't know if it is his bright emerald green eyes beaming with patience for me to say the right thing but I get up.

I don't think now is the moment to tell him how I feel, I am not in the right mind set.

I start to walk to the door when I feel my hand being pulled back by Dream.

"Stay."

It is like I am a candy bar in the sun, I just melt when I look at him. Maybe there isn't ever going to be a right mindset.

"Friday is tomorrow. Are you going to fight with everyone?" I ask even though I know the answer. He is going to be there, it would look weak if he wasn't.

He pulls me into a hug and he holds me there, neither of us wanting to let go. I hear his heartbeat and it is a calming sound.

However now I feel an uneasy guilt for wasting those four days ignoring him because the next four aren't guaranteed.

I pull away to look up at him.

We exchange glances at each other like we are exchanging the words that we can't possibly say.

Then he kisses me.

And I kiss him back. I kiss him like it will be our very last night together.

It gave me the courage to say the very thing I have decided I am ready to say.

I break apart from his lips and I tell him without looking him in the eyes. "I love you."

I don't need to wait for a definition of what love is because I will be waiting for a hell of a long time.

All I know is that he makes me want to jump in freezing, dark water when I don't know how to swim. I have put my life into his hands but I haven't put my heart into them until now.

I look up towards him and his face doesn't even crack a facial expression and I am starting to feel like I did it all wrong.

"S-say it again." He whispers.

I blow a breath out.

"I can't tell you I know what will happen tomorrow or the day after but what I can tell you is that I love you. I love you Dream."

He smiles and picks me up. My legs wrap around him.

"God I love you (Y/n)."

Then he kisses me again but softly like he is afraid I might break if he kisses me any harder.

Soon the speed changes a bit and he moves along to my neck and then my chest.

"I want to kiss every inch of your body," he whispers softly.

I just mumble softly as just the thought of his lips everywhere sends shivers down my body.

"I want everyone to know that you are mine," he whispers again.

I feel his finger trail down to the bottom of the shirt and he lifts it above my head and flings it on the floor.

Now my feet are on the ground and he takes his own shirt off of him. I stare at the curvatures of his body.

I want him, all of him.

* * *

And that night I did and if it was my last day in this world, I am glad I was with him.

Long chapter for you cuties. Smut next chapter!!