Shelby doesn't ignore her this time; in fact, she looks at her a lot, and in class it's distracting, the way Shelby can't stop glancing over her shoulder just to make sure Toni's eyes are on her like they always are, and it takes Martha about five minutes to notice.
"Uh, why does Shelby keep looking at you like that?" she whispers to Toni, and Toni goes beet red and stares down at her textbook, pretending to soak in the information on the pages they're supposed to be reading.
"We had a talk," is all she says, and Martha, in all of her innocence, takes her at face value.
"Did you really finally figure out stuff with her?" she asks. "What did you guys talk about?" Shelby glances back again at that moment, biting at her lip and giving Toni a once-over, and Martha spots it and then notes the way Toni swallows and shifts a little in her seat. She sighs. "Oh. A talk, huh?"
"It's all figured out," Toni promises.
A day later, she sees Andrew in the hallway, slamming his locker door angrily and storming down the hallway in a little bit of a temper tantrum, and Shelby is nowhere to be seen beside him like she usually is. Toni feels giddy because she's pretty sure she knows what it means.
A day after that, Toni learns it's not all figured out.
She catches up to Shelby in the parking lot after school, and this time when Shelby notices her she takes her by the wrist and kind of hurries her into her car, looking around the whole time to make sure that no one spots them. She drives Toni home and seems relieved that Martha's not there yet, then says, "We can talk for a bit, but I don't want Martha to see me here with you."
Toni looks at her, confused. "Shelby, Marty knows."
Shelby freezes and then looks worried. "You told her?"
"No," Toni rushes to say, and then wonders why it's a problem in the first place. "She saw the stuff I wrote to you." She hesitates and then admits, "Fatin knows, too; she figured it out. So did Nora."
"How many people know, Toni?" Shelby asks her sharply, and she looks so upset that Toni starts to feel defensive.
"That's it. Why does it even matter? None of them will tell anyone else, and—and this is all working out, so—"
"What's working out?" Shelby asks, and Toni just blinks at her, a knot starting to form in her stomach.
"...Us? I thought?"
Shelby's worry fades into sympathy and she says, "We need to talk."
"No," Toni sighs out in horrified understanding, and then she turns and wanders away, putting her hands on her head. "Fuck, don't do this."
"Just listen to me, Toni."
"No, I really won't, Shelby," Toni snaps, rounding on her furiously, and she hates herself for already getting teary-eyed, for being so weak with Shelby, always. "I'm not standing here and letting you crush my fucking heart again. Just go; give up on me like everyone else I've ever loved has. I should be used to it by now, especially from you."
Shelby's lips quiver and she says, "I'm not givin' up on you. I'm askin' you to give up on me."
Toni goes stiff and just stares at her, watches Shelby blink tears out of her eyes until they roll down her cheeks.
"I broke up with Andrew," she admits. "I told him I knew about the other girls. I told my daddy that was why I did it."
"That's a good thing," Toni says, and for a moment she feels hopeful despite herself. "That's a huge step, Shelby—"
