They get snow early on in December, which is rare in their part of the state but not unheard of, and Toni and Martha take a trip out to the park, where there's more room to roam among the flurries. There are a few other people around enjoying the rare cold weather, too, and Toni watches Martha catch snowflakes on her tongue. They make snow angels and have snowball fights until Toni runs headlong into someone while she's trying to get away from Martha, and when she blurts out a "Fuck, sorry!" and looks around to try to find the person she's nearly knocked over, she finds Shelby straightening up a few feet away from her, her cheeks flushed pink from what Toni thinks is probably the cold weather.
"Uh, I—" Toni starts, trying to find some words to say to her, any words, really, and Shelby gives her a small smile from under the adorable Winter beanie she's wearing. It's got a pom pom and strings.
"Hey, Toni," she says, a little shyly, and Toni just blinks at her and remains silent, still so surprised to see her. Shelby tilts her head. "Everythin' workin' okay up there? You didn't bang up anythin' important, did you?"
It sounds good-natured, like maybe Shelby's feeling a little more relaxed than usual with no one around to overhear them, but Toni can't be totally sure given how long it's been since they've spoken—things are different now in that they don't really fight anymore, just completely ignore each other instead, and she has absolutely no clue what Shelby thinks or feels about her now, if they're on bad terms or if she never crosses Shelby's mind at all or if they're meant to be fine by their standards but just not talking—so she stiffens a little and says, "I'm fine."
"I really hope so," Shelby tells her, like she's not talking about their collision, and then she looks over her shoulder. Toni can see Andrew in the distance, pulling money out of his wallet by a snow cone stand, of all things. He's getting them snow cones in the Winter. Why the fuck is there a snow cone stand?
Toni shakes her head, watching him, says, "That's fucked up", and Shelby laughs a lot at that, quietly, but like it's very, very funny, and then she gives Toni a shy wave goodbye and leaves to go join him. Toni's heart aches as she stares at Shelby's back.
"You okay?" Martha approaches her to ask after Shelby's gone, and Toni doesn't tell her but she's secretly glad Martha kept her distance and gave them a moment.
"Yeah," Toni replies, but she watches Shelby for a few seconds longer anyway—Andrew hands her a snow cone and she kind of half-heartedly licks at the ice shavings before pulling a face when he's turned away and then letting them fall from her mouth, which Toni would find utterly fucking hilarious if she weren't just so busy looking; God, Shelby is always so beautiful—and then Martha pulls her away to continue pelting each other with mounds of snow.
December feels a little weird—like something in Toni's world has shifted without her noticing and she isn't quite sure why.
Their school throws a Winter Formal right before Christmas break and Toni goes dateless, not even with Martha, who gets asked out by a boy she's been shyly flirting with in one of the classes she doesn't share with Toni. Toni tries to get Fatin to go with her, but Fatin recoils from her like she's just asked her to be her girlfriend and says, "'Winter Formal' better be code for something sexual I've never heard of," and Toni just sighs, rolls her eyes, and pulls Fatin's shirt off.
She's not sure why she even wants to go—maybe it's just another nice distraction, because the alternative is likely dribbling a basketball around alone in the slush or just hanging out with the television at home. Or maybe, just a little bit, it's the hope of running into Shelby again outside of school hours, even if it won't be the same with their classmates around as it was at the park.
She really dresses up for it, actually goes all-out more than she even did for Prom, and it's different from the months of dragging herself around in public looking like she'd just rolled out of bed and also wants to crawl right back into it. She pins her hair up with the help of Martha's mom and then rubs anxiously at her own neck in the mirror, which looks a little longer with her hair the way it is, and she kind of knows a little about how to do her own makeup, but she lets Martha's mom help her out anyway. She doesn't quite look like herself at the end of it all, she thinks, but she does look really good, and maybe a little bit of change isn't the worst thing just for the night.
