It's not a one-time thing.
Shelby doesn't even look at Toni for two weeks, let alone speak to her, and Toni is fucking over the moon about it. It's so fucking perfect, the way Shelby can't even acknowledge her; it's exactly what she envisioned, because Shelby still hates her and she still hates Shelby, only now they both know what happened and she can tell it tears Shelby apart that she got her fucking world rocked not just by another girl, but by Toni of all people. It so obviously fucking kills her and it makes Toni giddy even thinking about it.
She's on cloud nine, especially when she gets back together with Regan and the makeup sex is everything it always is.
Then at about the two-week mark Regan's watching Shelby, Becca, Andrew, and the rest of their school's FCA have a meeting across the cafeteria one day, and she just kind of asks out of nowhere, "You think any of them are gay?"
Toni gives a start and follows her gaze, hating the way her eyes are drawn to Shelby first. Andrew's arm is slung around her shoulders but she's talking to Becca and she looks happy. "Why?" she asks, and Regan shrugs.
"Just seems like it'd fucking suck. They're all probably like Shelby, with crazy parents and all that. I'd never come out." She says it all like it's nothing, and Toni's chest caves in on itself a little.
"Oh. I guess," she agrees, and tries to stop looking at Shelby and thinking about Shelby, about the lust in her eyes when she'd had Toni's fingers inside of her and her constant public brush-offs of Andrew that Toni had for so long attributed to general Christian prudishness.
There's something deep in Toni that acknowledges that obviously there's nothing stopping Shelby from being gay. Like, lesbians can be blonde feminine uber-Christians from Texas who do pageants and have parents that run Bible spin classes, but at the same time, it's Shelby. Toni hasn't ever considered that they'd ever have anything in common, let alone their sexualities, and she'd written off their encounter as Shelby being drunk and maybe feeling rebellious or caught up in the moment or something. Maybe Andrew had hooked up with Becca after all and Shelby had just been after literally whatever was available to make herself feel wanted. Or maybe she was just mad at her dad that day.
Toni doesn't jump straight to "tortured closeted lesbian" because she hates Shelby too much to see her as a victim.
She tries to start being a little nicer, just in case it's true. When Shelby's pencil runs out of lead in English class, Toni haphazardly tosses her an extra and watches it slide across the desk and into Shelby's lap. Shelby looks confused and then a little uncertain, and Toni doesn't smile at her, but she doesn't scowl at her, either.
When Martha mentions that she has plans to hang out with Shelby one afternoon and that Shelby will be picking her up, Toni doesn't make any comments about charity cases and even hangs out with Martha in the driveway up until Shelby arrives. They have plans to see a movie, and when Martha takes it upon herself to invite Toni along last-minute right in front of Shelby, Toni sees on Shelby's face that she's mortified and so she turns it down.
She tries to be nice—she really does. But Shelby gives her nothing back, and slowly the weeks crawl by, and Shelby seems to be genuinely happier with Andrew than before, laughing loudly at his jokes and even kissing him back with some enthusiasm in the school hallway. Toni wonders fleetingly if he's stopped cheating on her, but she buys that they're happy together.
Soon she and Shelby are back at each other's throats again, poking and prodding even if it doesn't escalate into yelling anymore, but Toni can feel the power she has now and can tell Shelby can feel it, too. Shelby accuses Toni of drawing a lewd image in the condensation of Shelby's car window one morning and Toni just says, "Wasn't me," even though it was, and Shelby's eyes flash and she looks like she wants to start an argument, but Toni just smiles at her and Shelby clenches her fists and storms off instead.
