tuesday longings | suna x fem reader

chapter 17 | home

As you arrived outside the hospital, Bokuto and Akaashi greeted you with puffy eyes and crimson noses. You managed to smile weakly at them but they tackled you into a hug. Their warmth making you cry. Again.

They took you home and it was already decided beforehand that they would stay over for the first and last time.

"Tomorrow will be the surgery huh?" Bokuto broke the silence when the three of you arrived home.

"I guess," you answered while opening your laptop. "But you know..."

You trailed off, not knowing if it will be insensitive of you to say this when they are already grieving. Sighing, you continued anyway. Whatever happens, it has been decided by fate already.

"I don't regret this decision at all," you stated. "I have been living alone most of my life, and I've been thankful for you and Akaashi for keeping me company. I was content. I didn't really feel lonely when I'm with you guys. But when I met Suna, I started to feel different when I don't see him at all even in just a week... Until I longed to see him every day."

They just listened. You never talked this much before so they just savored these moments, even Bokuto who's loud-mouthed kept quiet the whole time.

"I guess he filled in the missing holes in my life that I didn't think were needed to be filled." You chuckled. "That's why I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, it would never be the same. He's become a part of me that would be hard to shake off even after years."

"But y/n-san, don't you think he feels that way for you too?" Akaashi asked. He's still hoping you'd change your mind about all this.

"I- I guess he probably does. But I know he'll get through this." You said, remembering all those times he shared his mini and grand dreams with you. "He has dreams that I hope for him to fulfill."

—

"I want to be a professional photographer someday." Suna's eyes glimmered like a 5-year-old boy with dreams, except he isn't a 5-year-old.

"Mhm. Why is that?"

"I like capturing moments. Especially candid ones."

He was so passionate about it. It was a simple wholesome dream but it meant a lot to him.

"I also want to have my own company for it someday."

"I'll make sure you reach them."

"But you should witness it."

You laughed and looked at him with his dead-pan gaze that's facing you already. "Of course."

—

1:00 AM

You closed your laptop after editing something for the last time. Akaashi and Bokuto were watching a movie in the living room, waiting for you to watch one with them too before you all go to bed. But before joining them, you compiled all the letters you wrote for Akaashi, Bokuto, and Suna.

You tucked them inside Akaashi's bag and went out joining them. The two were side by side, discretely holding hands but you noticed it anyway. You sat on the couch next to the sofa they were sitting on and they let you chose a movie to watch.

While the bright light from the television illuminated the whole living room, and the sounds from the movie played throughout, you weren't paying attention to it at all. Your mind wandered to Suna. If how is he doing, and how much you wanted to see him still.

It was a depressing thought you never wanted to think of again. The two blooming lovebirds were already asleep on the sofa. Bokuto was laying down and Akaashi was on top of him.

So much for being discrete.

You put a layer of blanket on top of them and went to your own room to doze off.

—

At around six in the morning, you went to the hospital and visited Suna's room for the last time. Afterward, you proceeded to approach the doctor in charge of your surgery as a donor for Suna's lung transplant.

As you were laying there, your life on the line, you thought of the last words you uttered to the person you loved if they were enough to make up for a lifetime.

"You are my home and will always be...

So please take good care of yourself for me."

And everything went black.