What She Needs

6. Liability

Liability- Lorde

Addisons POV
A psych hold usually takes place up in a specialist unit on floor 5 of the hospital. Patients who are a danger to them selves can be admitted for up to 72 hours initially and in that time they are given a full assessment, emergency medication, crisis therapy, feeding tubes or what ever other emergency measures the patient requires to keep them safe. I did a psych rotation during my fellowship since I deal so much with bereaved mothers and miscarriage and other pregnancy related tragedies. The training has really helped in that sense, but I'm not sure how I was going to carry out a 72 hour hold for Meredith.

Part of me doesn't think she needs it. She's a smart girl. She's a doctor. I don't think she'd do anything fatal. She's not suicidal right? But then again I had no idea she was even cutting until three days ago. And what about the eating? When was the last time anyone saw Dr Grey eat a meal?

Arizona and I had agreed on this next stage of intervention for Meredith after that day in the on call room. We still thought it best to keep everything low-key, mainly because we really know so little about the girl. We decided that if Meredith showed continued self injurious behaviour one of us would essentially baby sit the girl until we felt it safe for her to be independent again. I'm worried she'll see this as a punishment, and then try and shut me out, when really, all this alone time together will mean I can finally get to the bottom of what's causing her to do this to herself. It's the step before involving Derek and Bailey and Webber. The step before a proper psych hold if you will. I still feel so honoured that Meredith confided in me and I feel it my duty to do everything I can to help her before I sell her out to the chief or surgery. Not that Bailey and Richard wouldn't want to help Meredith. It's just she's a grown woman at the end of the day. And unless she's on the brink of death, my duty to safeguard is limited to those who already know her business.

I send a quick email to Richard, stating that both Dr Grey and I would be taking a weeks leave, effective immediately. Arizona had gone to post op for the appendectomy leaving me and Meredith and the mammoth task of convincing her to come to my house.

"Come on then Sweetie, let's get your stuff from your locker and we can head out."

"I'm not going with you."
She may as well have stomped her foot and pouted.

"You are Meredith. You have three options. You come to mine. I go to yours. Or we go to psych. Once again, it's always your decision."

I'm not sure I have the authority to put her in psych. Oh well. She doesn't need to know that.

"I am not going to psych."

"Mine or yours, then?"

A heavy silence, percussed by the rhythmic jittering of Merediths foot.

"Yours."

I got Meredith out of the hospital. Then I got her in my car. Next I got her to my front door and finally I got her to my couch. Each step more of a fight than the last.

Her face is stoic. Void of emotion except for the pissy eyebrow that shows her displeasure. Cute really. I've left her to ferment on the couch. She can be angry all she wants within my safe four walls. I watch from the kitchen, whipping up a quick chicken burger for each of us, as her face gradually softens, the facade melting off as she comes to terms with her predicament for the next few days. Every few minutes the eyebrow is back though, as she remembers that she's mad at me. It's like her face can't decide whether to show how she feels or how she wants me to think she feels. Good job I can see right through her.

The buns are toasted and I lightly butter them before plating up the chicken burgers and serving one to the girl on my couch.

"Alright. It's just bread and chicken essentially. Minimal butter. Nothing you can't eat right?"