Surviving in Harmony

Chapter Thirty-Seven | Hogwarts, September 2013

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Hogwarts, September 2013

 

 

            It was another autumn at Hogwarts for Maxwell Bowen; a fresh year to busy himself with so he could forget the summer he'd just lived through. Ivy House had been so quiet that he'd barely spent more than a few hours a day there.

Instead he filled his summer with going to London with Teddy to visit Mitzie, watching his cousins so his Aunt and Uncle could have a moment of peace. He and Teddy spent many afternoons taking the four Bowen kids out on a picnic. Ella had just turned eleven and was now at Hogwarts, but that summer it had all she'd been able to talk about. Eight year old Hester had read a new novel every day. Robin was very quiet, but he loved Teddy and Max with a passion only four year olds could posses. And then there was little Maeve, almost three and a ball of sunshine. They spent happy afternoons building dams in the stream and making secret hideouts in the woods, everything Teddy and Max had done as kids.

Unfortunately, they weren't kids anymore. In the heat of summer Max had struggled every day with his growing attraction for Teddy Lupin – his best friend since birth, his Uncle's godson. He must be crazy, he just must.

Yet, the more he denied it and let Teddy go off with girls while they were in London the more he felt like his lungs were refusing to cooperate.

"You should say something." Mitzie said to him one day in London, when Teddy had met a pretty girl their age in a café.

Max had huffed, mumbled.

"Seriously, this is making you a little cuckoo." His friend seemed dead serious. "If this goes on – and I think it will – you'll be a nut case by the time we graduate."

"I can't tell him, Mitz." He said. "He'll hate me, I know he will."

"He might not!" she pleaded. "What's the worse that could happen, really? You could just tell him you're gay, not that you love him –"

"I don't love him!" He cried, cheeks going red.

"Um, you do." Mitzie said arrogantly.

"I do not –" luckily Teddy had come back and the conversation had not continued.

Now in the first week of school Max was already in trouble because of something stupid Teddy had done, and he'd been idiotic enough to tag along. Mitzie, the fox, had gotten away.

"Sorry I landed us in detention." Teddy said cheerily, picking up his scrub brush. They had created a cloud of rain to follow around their friend Ollie in Gryffindor, to get him back for setting a swarm of Cornish pixies at them on the first day back.

"You could've said that Ollie was doing a presentation for Bins. Oh, and three other professors! And you could have learned the difference between a small, helpless little raincloud and a fucking tsunami."

Teddy just smiled cheekily. "But wasn't it awesome?"

Max didn't say anything, just hunkered down and began mopping up the classroom. Their punishment was cleaning up – without magic. They got to work, talking a little but mostly just getting the work done. Max glanced over at Teddy as little as possible; he always looked good with the sleeves of his school shirt rolled up and the top button or two undone. His hair was shifting between an ash blonde and a strawberry sheen.

He remembered what Mitzie had said in London that summer, about just telling Teddy that he was – well, Max didn't even say the word to himself. But Teddy was his best friend, and what he hadn't told Mitzie was that he didn't want to lose him. Being secretly in love with your friend but still friends was better than being secretly in love with him while he ignores you like dragon pox.

"Ted?" he said softly, voice shaking.

"Mhm?" Teddy looked up from the patch of floor he'd been mopping, eyes gleaming.

"Um, can I – I mean there's something –" he stuttered, trying to get the words out.

Teddy leaned on his mop, grinning. "What's up?"

"I'm –" Max took a deep breath. "Nothing, um – never mind."

He shrugged and returned to mopping.

They were close to being done when Max looked up, seeing Teddy leaning over; his shirttails weren't tucked in, his tie was loose around his neck. He still had an essence of the Teddy Max had grown up with.

"Teddy?"

"Yeah?" He didn't look up, concentrating on trying to stack some books.

"TeddyI'mgay." He blurted.

Head jerking up, Teddy stared at him. "What?"

"I'm – um...gay." Max was shaking. Teddy wasn't saying anything, his face was blank. "Ted?"

"I –"

"Well done boys!" Professor King came into the room just as Teddy opened his mouth, smiling. "While I disapprove of the motive, the magic itself was quite impressive. You're free to go."

Max didn't say a word, just bolted from the room.

"Is he alright?" Professor King asked, confused.

Teddy looked into the doorway where his friend had disappeared. "He – um – wasn't feeling well."

In the halls, Max was running. He headed for the library, knowing it would be mostly empty at this time in the evening. Knowing that nobody would be in the back stacks, on Wizard Law, he took refuge and sunk to the ground.

"What did I do?" he moaned, head in hands. His heart was beating unnaturally fast, his hands shook. Max had ruined his own life.

"Max?"

His heart jumped in fear at seeing Teddy, standing with his lean grace inbetween the shelves.

"Knew you'd be here." He said, a little smugly.

Max scrambled up. "Teddy, I –"

"Can I say something?" he asked, looking a little nervous himself.

"Erm, sure."

"I knew, Max."

"You – really?"

Teddy shrugged. "Yeah, I mean c'mon – you've never dated a girl, you're best friends with Mitzie and most of your friends are girls anyway, and you never pursue any of them. That, and I know you look at me."

Max blushed, mortified.

"Hey, it's okay." Teddy stepped a little closer. "I look at you, too."

Max thought he might pass out. "What do you mean –"

Teddy was so close, so jarringly close it made Max think that something he'd always dreamed of was going to happen. "You're not very subtle." He whispered, one hand moving up Max's arm. "I'm more straightforward when I want to kiss someone."

"I've never kissed a boy before." Max blurted, trying to hide the trembling in his fingers.

Teddy snorted, "You've never kissed anybody before."

"So, I don't know if I'll like it."

"How will you know if you don't try it?" asked Teddy, so close now Max could smell the soap Harry sent him once a month.

"I –"

"Oh just shut up and let me kiss you." Teddy said, one hand on Max's shoulder, the other on the wall behind him.

"Fine." He said.

Teddy smirked. "Fine."

When they touched, when Teddy Lupin kissed him – Max had never felt so alive.

A/N: YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE WAITED TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER. SO. FRICKING.LONG.

QUESTION: WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN RIGHT NOW, MINES IN MEGA HAPPY

ROSE