Surviving in Harmony

Chapter Seventy-One | Hester House, April 2021

Chapter Seventy-One

Hester House, April 2021

Childhood was slipping from Ella's being, seeping into the places she had been, trinkets that had followed her. Sometimes, if she turned around quickly, Ella would have sworn her shadow belonged to a younger version of herself.

Graduation, being and breaking up with Jonathan - the abortion - had chipped off her child shell. When she was with Forrest, it felt as if he were watering her, sheltering her from the world while she healed and grew simultaneously.

Now, back once more at her childhood home, Ella shook of the last pieces of youth. The steps creaked, the tall windows glowed and everything smelled like home. A note on the side table told her Andrew had popped out, but he'd be back in a little bit.

It had been a long time since Ella had been alone in Hester House. She hung her jacket on the lower hooks made for children's clothes and peeked into the library, spinning in the very centre with her eyes on the peaked ceiling. Next she dug her toes into the soft carpet in the centre of the living room, slid on the sleek wooden floors. In the kitchen she measured her height to her siblings, then her father and aunt's.

The kitchen stairs, narrow and winding, deposited her on the landing by Maeve's bedroom. She was in London with Amara for a few days, visiting museums and art galleries. Her books, pressed flowers and drawings cluttered every surface. Through the halls, Ella poked around in Robin's room, peering through his telescope and inspecting the charts he had tacked to the walls. In her parent's bedroom she only stared at the big, fluffy bed that Andrew made every morning, which Amara would gladly just leave unmade forever.

Ella then entered Andrew's study, which all his children had spent a great deal of time in as little ones. He liked to hear them whisper and yawn, sleep or play while he worked on star charts or a paper, read an ancient book from the library. On the desk a thick stack of paper was weighed down by a rock. It was the neatest Ella had seen the office in a very long time.

Curious, she approached the desk - then stopped in her tracks when she read the single line on the first page.

Hazel Bowen

A memoir of war & Sacrifice

Sinking into her father's chair, Ella let out a breath that she felt as if she had been holding for years and years. Suddenly, she realized this was not meant for her eyes - not yet. Leaving the manuscript on the desk, Ella retreated to her old room. It was one of the larger rooms, most likely not meant for sleeping, but Andrew and Amara had always wanted their older girls to share a space.

Hester and Ella had loved their bedroom growing up. With the large circular window seat that you could crawl through the roof, the heavy grey curtains on each side of the outer wall and the lavender-white walls, adored each crown moulding and the shiny wood floors. A bed, desk and dresser on either side of the room, it made the centre equal ground for playing or fighting.

Curling up in the sheets, Ella lost herself in thought and grey light. Andrew found her there, fast asleep and breathing deeply. Sitting beside her, he brushed honey curls back from her face; sleep took years away from her features.

He had been worried when she called, asking if he were busy. Something had seemed off for a while now, and he had considered doing some snooping. Amara had asked him not too though. "She's an adult, Drew. Ella can take care of her problems on her own."

Gently shaking her, Andrew spoke softly. "Ella?"

"Hmm." Shifting under his touch, her eyes fluttered open. "Oh, Pa. Hi."

"Hey." He smiled at her and rubbed her shoulder like he used to when she was little. "Staying the night are you? Or just supper, your mother left very intense instructions about feeding ourselves and -"

"I got an abortion." Ella interrupted, voice small.

"What?" Andrew stared at her, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

"I got pregnant, and it was Jonathan's and I didn't want to turn into Aunt Sonia or Mamma and I just - I'm sorry -"

Andrew crushed his daughter to him, letting out a rattling breath. "Honey, you shouldn't be sorry."

"Ar-aren't you mah-mad?" she sobbed.

"No."

"But -"

"Ella, no. I could never be mad at you for doing what's best for you." He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumb, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. "No one...nobody knows this, but I offered your mother the option of aborting Maeve."

"Seriously?" Ella felt cold, considering a world without her youngest sister. Mae was the light of their family, pure and golden. She was special, just as Andrew had predicted.

"You know your Mamma had post partum depression, and the doctor predicted after Robin that if she had another baby, it would probably get really...really bad, worse than when you were born." Andrew drew in a shaky breath, glancing at the photos on the girls' wall; the siblings, vacations, drawings - his little Maeve, beaming at him from a picture taken on the beach. "I didn't want to put her through that all again, but she had a feeling that it would be okay - and it was. She did very well, it was amazing; even took the year off, I'm sure you remember. It was what was best for her, and this was best for you. I could never be mad at you for that."

"I...I had no idea."

"No one does, and that's okay. Don't tell Mae, she'd be upset."

"I won't."

Andrew smiled and patted her hand. "Good. Shall we have some supper, watch a film?"

They went downstairs, heated up the soup Amara had left. Cuddled on the sofa in the den, they watched half a film before abandoning it for a walk in the night air. Andrew pointed out constellations, told her stories of when she was little and before she was born.

"You and Mamma seriously hopped the fence at the zoo?" she asked, doubling over with laughter.

"Well, we flew." Said Andrew, smug.

Ella told Andrew all about Forrest, the bookshop and everything he had done for her. "We're taking it really, really slow."

"Forrest sounds like a good fit, Elle."

"He is Pa, honestly. He's so kind to me."

"I'm glad."

Andrew watched his daughter talk in the moonlight, face bright and alive once more. He saw a flicker of Hazel in her then, as she gushed over Forrest. It was then that he knew for sure that Ella would be all right.

A/N: Awww, Andrew and his little girl. Love it.

Question: What do you think is in store for everyone in the last couple chapters? There are currently 5 and an epilogue, but I'm considering throwing in a few more.

Rose