Red Butterfly

Chapter 56, Memories That Consume

"Does that settle it then?", I bit my lip nervously as I stare in her brown eyes. I made sure to keep a decent few feet between us so she doesn't feel menaced. After all, I did act out of rage.

The corners of her mouth tucked up and she assured, "Yeah pretty much...and Itachi...", she looks away, fixating her gaze elsewhere and says, "I'm...I'm deeply sorry for what I said...it's just that-"

"Izumi", I cut her off, attempting a smile, tired of her bringing up the same topic. The wind howled between us as I replied, "let's not make a big deal out if it...I'm sorry and you're sorry, let's just close the subject and move on".

Who was I kidding? I'll probably never get over Hanabi even if I wanted to. But for the sake of my recovery I have to put up with all this.

Izumi's eyes trail till they fell on me and she smiled, "I'll get you dango next time".

I returned the gesture and chuckled, "I'd love that".

We walked out of the gazebo, exchanging a few jokes in between as we treaded closer and closer to Shisui. Who was standing at the far end of the bridge, waiting for us. The wind blew his hair away and when he noticed us, two deep dimples immediately caved in.

He gave us a giant smile that reached his eyes and beamed, "now that all's settled let's go back to the Uchiha district".

"Right", Izumi and I said in unison.

The night was long, not mention cold. But as we walked back to the Uchiha district, we couldn't stop with the jokes and talks about our childhood. The village was silent and peaceful, something I never thought I'd see. Along the way, we spotted a few cops who were on the night shift duty, all which hailed Shisui.

The girls of the village were whispering and giggling, some even sending Izumi a few glares. Nevertheless, we managed to disregard them and continue with our night.

A hard pill to swallow was what should I do when I get home? Father is completely dissatisfied with me because my emotions were somewhat all over the place. Even he was sad when he heard of Hanabi's death. Hayate and Ichiko were his comrades in the Great War so it'd only makes sense if he felt bad.

Despite everything that brought me back memories of Hanabi I still smiled, knowing that she'd want me to be happy. I smiled sadly when I began thinking of how Hanabi might've reacted to everything that's going on. How she'd crack a joke or tell me that I fret too much. Possibly poking me in the forehead a bit too hard, making me take a few steps back.

It was painful. More than anyone would know, but there's nothing I can do about it except hold on and cling to life, hoping that someday it gets better. I have people around me that are willing to make that happen. So as I look at Shisui then dart my eyes to Izumi I can't help but feel like I should stop lying to myself and to them as well.

This void just keeps on expanding day after day.

Maybe I'll end up being an enigma from all this stigma. But as long as I am not hurting those around me I guess it'll be fine, I'll be fine...

We part ways as we had back to our houses, waving goodbye as we tread away. I sigh and walk in slow steps. If father is going to lecture me again, he could forget it. I'm not in the mood to be lectured. I have an upcoming S-rank mission, which I need to prepare for.

My life is hard enough as it is, right now any more surprises can throw me over the edge. My heart can't take it anymore. It feels like I've lived my entire life in seventeen years. These past seventeen years, I've been living in vain. I never really found happiness, but that's nothing knew.