The Grave Reality

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 He let Daichi check them in while he waited with Sugawara, who was clasping and unclasping his hands together, probably because of nerves. Daichi came back and they set off for the room that Kageyama was all too familiar with.

He paused before the door for a brief moment, almost too nervous to push it open. But once he did he instantly felt a little bit better. Hinata was sitting up in bed, hunched over a different gaming device than the one he had the first visit. While he was still coughing, his complexion hadn't regained any color, and he was still hooked up to a couple of machines, he wasn't dead and that was all that mattered.

"Kageyama!" Hinata looked like he wanted to leap out of bed when they walked into the room. His eyes instantly regained the glimmer that Kageyama had been missing so desperately. If he could, Kageyama would have gone back and kicked his past self for leaving.

How did I ever think it would be possible to abandon him?

"Told you I'd bring him," Sugawara remained very close to the door, leaning against the wall with one hand in his pocket.

"Thank you," Hinata's voice was slightly weak but nevertheless grateful.

"We'll leave you two alone for a minute," Daichi reached over and grabbed Sugawara's arm, escorting him out of the room despite the grey-haired setter's protests.

Kageyama was glad. At Hinata's invitation, he sat on the edge of the bed again, still lacking the grace that Sugawara had used when he did it. But he was there. He made it, he could now properly apologize. Just as he opened his mouth to do so, Hinata spoke up instead:

"Don't. There's nothing you have to apologize for."

Kageyama looked up, mouth still open slightly. Hinata had set down his game and was now sitting fully upright. He looked tired, Kageyama couldn't deny that. Just the thought made him wince slightly.

"But I left and..."

"I don't blame you," Hinata cut him off again, his voice determined. He coughed slightly before continuing, "I would have run out of here too if I could have. I nearly did when they told me, they were this close to having to restrain me." He held up his right hand, pinching his fingers together to the point where they were nearly touching.

This was so different to their usual conversations that Kageyama didn't know how to react. He wasn't used to talking to Hinata with no competition between them, with no insults being thrown. It felt strangely... good.

"So uh... Thank you," Kageyama managed to stutter out, feeling unusually warm despite the awful situation he was in. "How are you?"

"Alright, a lot of people have come to visit this week which was nice," Hinata began to count on his fingers, recalling his visitors. "Daichi has stopped by nearly every day, Sugawara came with him a few times as well! That was cool. Yamaguchi stopped by with a basket of food, candy specifically," Hinata gestured to the stand in the room to where there was a basket filled with candy, some of which had definitely been eaten.

"Oh! Kenma stopped by the day after you left!" Hinata continued, looking excited. "I wasn't expecting him to, but I texted him what was going on and he dragged Kuroo all the way here." He held up the gaming device he had been using beforehand. "He even let me borrow this! Which was nice of him. Kuroo told me that he'd miss playing me in games and that he hoped I was doing alright, which I thought was pretty cool. Even Nishinoya came by after practice on Wednesday! Ennoshita too!" Hinata smiled, probably remembering things that happened on those visits that Kageyama didn't know about.

They're all so much stronger than me. Kageyama tried to ignore the thought, but it pricked a small hole in his heart anyway. "That's... Good, I'm glad you've had company."

"Yeah!" Hinata smiled, but then frowned right after. "It's been fun. But... It doesn't change anything. I'm still... You know..." He gestured to his arm containing the wires.

"What's it like?" Kageyama couldn't stop himself from asking the question, his curiosity getting the better of him. Hinata paused for a few seconds, seemingly pondering his response.

"Well... It's not fun. Sleeping is hard because I wake up coughing a lot. I just feel, I don't know, weak and I hate it. I'm always tired, no matter how much sleep and the doctors keep running more and more tests. I'm about completely used to being stabbed with various sharp objects at this point." Hinata laughed slightly, which soon turned into a cough.

"I can still move around though like I can get out of bed and stuff," he continued when he had regained his breath. Everything still works normally, it's just my heart and lungs that are having issues."

"Did they explain what was wrong with them?"

"It's just the disorder," Hinata shrugged. "They don't know what causes it, but basically my heart and lungs are... Well... They're deteriorating." Kageyama watched as Hinata turned away, trying to blink back tears. "I don't know exactly what that means. But the way it works... I have a shockingly little amount of time left. Once early symptoms develop... People usually have less than six months to... yeah."

"And it's already been at least four..." Kageyama's breath caught in his throat.

That soon?

He's going to leave me that soon?!

"Kageyama I... I'm scared."

Those words again. They were all it took for Kageyama's body to take over his mind. He did something he hadn't even known he had wanted to do until he did it.

He scooted over in the bed until he was sitting on his knees directly on the right of Hinata, and pulled his best friend close to his chest in the tightest hug he could without hurting the other boy.

He heard Hinata release a small choking sound, and then lean as far as he could into Kageyama's shoulder.

"I don't want to die."

The dark-haired teen didn't give a response, just began to run his hand through Hinata's hair, gently combing out any knots that remained from not moving much in the past few days.

They sat there for a while, the silence only broken by Hinata's occasional coughs. Kageyama could feel tears running down his best friend's cheeks, soaking into the taller teen's shirt but he didn't mind. He just sat there, clutching the sick boy in his arms, too afraid to ever let go.

"Thank you," he heard Hinata whisper, breathing heavily.

"Of course."

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