Stop ~ TRIGGER WARNING

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(JUST IMAGINE CARL IS STILL ALIVE) 

"Carl, stop" Rick said through the walkie-talkie, "we all need you here."

"I'm sorry, I love you, tell Y/N I left something for her, in the wardrobe. Don't let this affect you, I just need peace, I can't do this, please don't be upset."

Michonne walked over and took Rick's talkie, "does ANYONE here know how we could get through to him?"

Everyone looked at you, but you were looking at your hands shaking, teeth clattering together, as you feared the future.

"We need to find h-" Maggie began, interrupted by a not very distant gunshot. You screamed with the pain in your heart. He wasn't there, and it left you empty.

Alden grabbed you before you harmed yourself, or anyone else, "breathe, breathe. Try and breathe, Y/N."

You wriggled to escape, wailing for his presence. "Alden, let me GO!"

You didn't understand that he was trying to help, cause all you wanted was to find Carl, and make sure he was okay. He took his arm around you, "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"He died. It wasn't the governor. It wasn't terminus. It wasn't Negan. It wasn't a walker. HE pulled the trigger. This earth didn't deserve him. But it needs him. So let me go and find my damn boyfriend before I punch your jaw right up until I hear it snap."

A mixture of guilt and shock filled his face as he let you go, "I'm sorry."

You bit your lip, anxious about 2 things; carl, and how you were going to handle anger - other than getting angry at anyone else. "I'm sorry, Alden."

You attempted to show you were sorry in your facial expression, and he understood. Well, your boyfriend just killed himself, so..

Rick's face was blank, no expression. The only thing presenting his emotion was the tear that managed to escape the brim of one of his eyes. Michonne's head was hidden in his shoulder, and everyone else looked to the floor.

You went to the wardrobe, there was a note, and a box.

Dear Y/N,

I'm sorry. It was never and never will be any of this group's fault. I love you, okay? You're my best girly, I could stare into your eyes for hours; days even. I just can't do this anymore, I don't want the world this way, but I can't help in fixing it. I'd be no help now, I have no energy to carry on. I love you, Y/N. I love the group, I love our friends. I love Hilltop, I love the kingdom. My dad, Michonne, Judith, Daryl, Carol, Maggie, Tara... the list goes on and on. I'll never stop loving you even if I'm a dead corpse.

I left this for you. Not to make you cry, but because you'd be surprised and happy that I still have it. Actually, there's a few other things too. I love you so, so much, baby.

Carl <3

Tears filled your face as it became bright red. Your head was so full of emotion that you felt dizzy and flustered. Your hands trembled as you reached for the old gift styled box, as heart formed with sticks and stones on top.

You bit the corners of your lips, trying to keep a frown off of your face.

As you lifted it, you giggled slightly at the memory, but still crying. It was friendship bracelets you made as kids in the camp. Sophia had one too, but when she went missing, she would have been wearing it. He's with Sophia now,  you told yourself. That hit hard.

It was made of leaf stems, and small plastic beads Carol had with her at the time.

Then there was his gun. He must have used a different one a few minutes ago, but she had not the courage to see him lifeless.

Then there was a comic book you and drawn together at the prison. You both made up the whole storyline, with the help of Michonne, and got the group to read it in spare time. It wasn't the best artwork, but it was okay. Tears flooded your cheeks.

But then a noise met her ears. A growl from the bathroom beside her. It couldn't be.

He missed his brain.

Or maybe it was something else, a hallucination.

You reached for your walkie-talkie. "Daryl, I think he came back. Keep Rick out of the house. Could you help me?"

You heard Daryl sniffle, just like you were, and he replied, "on my way, kiddo."

You ran your fingers through your hair, just like Carl would, but in a different, angry looking way. You weren't mad at him. You wanted your hair out of your face, you were too sad to think about anything, and you wanted it out of your face. You put the bracelet on your wrist, and flipped through the book.

As the door opened, Daryl ran in, sniffling, eyes bloodshot. "I love you, kid."

He pulled you into a hug before opening the bathroom door. Hesitantly, you leapt to your feet and caught a glimpse of the walker, Carl, growling and in distress, right before Daryl shot.

He turned around when he realised you were there, and pulled you into a tight hug.

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