Seven Minutes From Heaven [bxb]

Chapter 23 - Confessions

The building was ginormous; nothing like our small and humble little Baptist church. Just the entrance doors alone were huge and intimidating. God was big and almighty, so I guessed that these sorts of houses of prayer did Him better justice. Rosy followed Tristan and I inside and followed us to the cubicles I assumed were confessionals. My heart sprang into overdrive, pounding inside my chest. This moment could make or break me.

Tristan led me to a door and put his hand on my shoulder. "Father Michael is on the other side of this door. Me and mum will be close by. If you feel like you need to stop, just say the word, and come straight out. We can sit down in a pew once you're done so you can unwind. We can pray together if you want."

I nodded and offered a thankful smile as best as I could manage. His eyes flicked to my cheek before glancing back at me and giving a reluctant smile back. He opened the door and closed it behind me as I stepped inside and took a seat. It was a small little wooden cuticle with some old and archaic designs carved into it. There was a little window with wooden bars to my left, covered by a latch from the other side. In just a couple of moments, the latch slid open, and I could see a small portion of Father Michael's face.

He had white hair but smooth skin, and a very tiny face. My guess was that he was probably a really small man, but I'd only know that once he stepped out, afterward.

"I'm Father Michael as you probably already figured, and you must be Jude," he said, breaking the silence immediately. "What brings you here today, Jude? How can I help?"

"Um..." I started but didn't really know how to continue. "I think I maybe did something wrong and was punished by God. But I don't really know what. A lot of it is just accusation and not really true, as far as I'm aware, but––" I paused, realising I should probably double check that this wouldn't get me into trouble. "God's gonna be fine with me sharing this with you, even though I had to keep it a secret, right? God would be fine as long as it's in a confessional, right? I don't have to tell the whole story, I just need help getting answers."

Father Michael cleared his throat. "These answers you seek," he said. "Are you hoping to hear them from God?"

I nodded. Then remembering he can't see me, I answered, "Yes."

"Go ahead and tell me everything you feel is necessary," he said.

"This won't be shared with anyone, right?" I asked, paranoid that this would somehow get back to Josh.

"Priests are sworn to a seal of confession. We cannot give away any detail of any penitence, even if it meant death."

"Oh," I said. "Rest assured no one will try kill you for information. My brother is scary but he wouldn't do that."

Father Michael chuckled. "That's a relief to know. Now, what is it you wish to share or repent?"

"I... I think I made my brother... I made him want to hurt me. So he did that, but I want to know why God let that happen. Why he made things this way. If it was part of his plan, then what was I meant to learn from it. Y'know? And I need to repent because ever since that happened, I've been feeling so angry. So angry at God. If I did something wrong then I wish God just told me so I could fix it."

Father Michael was silent for a moment before he asked, "What was your brother's transgression against you?"

"What he did?" I asked, recalling what the word meant. "He um, he climbed on me and he, um, he touched his, y'know thing...on top of me. And when he finished, he said it was my fault because we're not really real brothers. But we grew up together, so I've never known the difference."

I could see Father Michael nodding through the bars as I spoke. "That would not have been pleasant for you, to be betrayed by your own brother."

I felt myself choke up and shook my head.