The Wonderground

26 - Lilacbeard

The immaculately dressed man stood on the poop deck of the Ephemera and danced a short jig of delight. He held a telescope to his left eye and was surveying the carnage. His free hand was absently stroking his long purple whiskers. The small tattoo between his thumb and index finger stretched and squirmed as he caressed the thick curls. An image of a red dagger intertwined with the letter 'S'. He heard a cough.

"Excuse me, Captain."

He lowered the telescope and turned to see his first mate, One Eyed Jake Passer, standing to attention. The man had known Jake for more than twenty years. He was his closest ally. He also had two eyes.

"We have two of them," said the man proudly. "They are in the brig."

"Excellent," replied Lilacbeard. "I shall welcome them aboard myself."

***

Lilacbeard ducked beneath a metal cage suspended above the wooden staircase that led down into the brig. The skeleton inside the enclosure rattled like a sinister wind chime as he pushed it to one side. The cells were situated deep in the underbelly of the ship and there was no natural light. The path was bathed in a soft green light from jam jars strung along the walls like Christmas decorations. Insects buzzed and droned inside each glass pot, their thoraxes glowing like swollen peas. The captain of the Ephemera made his way to the final cell. A crew member was propped up against the cell door. The sweating guard swatted crumbs from his swollen belly and struggled to his feet as he saw his captain approach. He saluted clumsily as he passed.

Lilacbeard spied two teenage children huddled together in the corner of the cell. "Welcome aboard the Ephemera," he declared flamboyantly. His announcement startled the girl and boy. "I trust you ordered room service," he sniggered.

"It's freezing," said Isla through chattering teeth.

"What is this?" groaned Lilacbeard. "A girl? Which idiot brought her on board?"

Terzi cowered below the angry captain. "It was One Eyed Jake, Cap'n Lilacbeard, sir," he replied timidly.

"Boys!" raged the captain. "I specifically said boys! Was that too difficult an instruction?" He pointed exasperatedly at Isla. "She has long hair in a ponytail and is wearing a skirt!"

"You're Parrington Peacock, the pirate!" blurted out Elliot.

"Parrington Peacock is dead!" snarled Lilacbeard, pressing his face between the cell bars. "He died a long time ago," he added. "And pirate," he continued disappointedly. "Such a dirty word. I prefer independent mercenary for hire."

"What could you possibly want with us?" asked Isla. "We only arrived here yesterday."

"I am not at liberty to say," replied the captain. "Loose lips sink airships," he grinned. "I do know that His Imperial Majesty is paying a pretty price for each of your little heads." He looked Isla up and down again. "Not yours," he sighed.

"Who is His Imperial Majesty?" asked Elliot. "We don't know any Imperial Majesty!"

"You will soon enough," smirked Lilacbeard. "Once I capture your friends, we will be paying him a little visit."

Elliot and Isla slumped into the corner of the cell.

"And do not worry about the temperature," he mocked. "I expect you will have some more warm bodies to cuddle up to within the hour."

Lilacbeard slapped Terzi firmly on the back as he swept from the cell area. "Straighten up, man! Caviar and quail's eggs for our guests," he roared as he climbed the steps out of sight.

***

The remaining quarter of the Council chamber tower was on the verge of collapse. "We have to get to the Monument," wheezed Strongbark, out of breath.