The Wonderground

16 - Cattle Class

They were squeezed into a small entrance space with two metal doors facing each other that looked like they belonged on a submarine. Both had circular portholes, but the glass was frosted and nothing was visible through them.

"Your carriage awaits," Eeleye declared.

Above the left-hand door, a box with an opaque glass panel and the words CATTLE CLASS was lit from behind by a faint blinking bulb. One of the red letter Ts was missing. Above the right-hand door the words CANINE CLASS were illuminated in a similar box, by much brighter lights. The letters were blue and the font was far more decorative.

"Dogs or cows," contemplated Rose. "That's not much of a choice."

"The train is leaving," announced Eeleye. "No time to waste. Please take your seats."

"Is there a price difference between the two classes?" asked Isla.

"Canine Class travellers pay for the privilege," replied Eeleye. "Tickets are ten times the price of Cattle Class."

"Cows it is then!" said Charlie, turning towards the left-hand door.

"Speak for yourself," countered Jack. "I've got plenty of money." He started pushing past everyone in the cramped space.

"Oh yeah?" managed Charlie, despite Jack's rucksack scraping across his face as the bigger boy bustled by. "Keep a load of Wonderground tenners in your back pocket, do you?"

"He's right," admitted Elliot. "We don't have any local money."

"We'll wing it," whispered Charlie, outside the earshot of the conductor. "When we get to the other end, plead ignorance. Best to head for the cheap seats, though."

He spun a heavy wheel on the left-hand door anticlockwise and pushed through into the softly lit carriage.

"At least we know why they call it Cattle Class," said Isla matter-of-factly, looking over Charlie's shoulder and taking in the scene.

As their eyes became accustomed to the semi-darkness, they saw that the floor of the carriage was covered in hay. Several bales were thrown haphazardly along the length of the carriage. There were a dozen three-legged stools strewn about the space. Most of them had been knocked over. The carriage was windowless and was lit by a string of naked bulbs that hung precariously from a swaying cable above their heads. Dust motes danced and swirled in front of their eyes. And it stank.

"What is that smell?" asked Isla between coughs.

Amelia delved into her shoulder bag and pulled out a bottle of 'Untold' perfume. She sprayed all the surfaces liberally, but it did not make a difference.

"I believe it's 'eau de farmyard'," chuckled Charlie.

"Take your seats, he said," muttered Rose. "Where to? A barn dance?"

They perched uncomfortably on the bales and stools. Amelia sprayed her bale until the bottle ran dry. The carriage was empty except for a large bundle of clothes abandoned on a mound of hay in one corner. They sat holding their noses, waiting quietly and patiently for the journey to begin. A loud sneeze broke the silence and echoed through the space.

"Bless you," said Isla politely before she realised that none of them had sneezed.

"Why, thank you," replied the heap of clothes.

Elliot fell backwards off his bale as the bundle unfolded to reveal a man. He looked a hundred years old and sat up gingerly. His knuckles and joints snapped and cracked as he stretched.

"Many apologies," he snivelled, producing a red and white spotted handkerchief from under his wide-brimmed, and rather squashed, fedora. "Hay fever." He sneezed again, into the hankey, and briefly glanced at its contents with pride.