🤡✍️👀 Watty Winner ~ Featured in humor and sci-fi ~ emoji novice ~ LOVER OF COMMENTS and monkeys! 🙈🙉🙊

I'm best known for NOT SAFE FOR WORK {Watty, 2016}. If you haven't read it, you should because it'll knock your socks off. Just kidding, please keep your socks on, especially if your feet smell. You can also read the sequel, THE LAST SEX TAPE.

If you love the foul-mouthed Detective Boyd, check out MURDER AND OTHER DISTRACTIONS. If surreal / supernatural crime is your thing, read KARMA'S HITMAN.

I also wrote WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY, BOT {Featured}. This was my first sci-fi story, but I'm planning to write more . Unless the robots rise up and write novels. Then I'll probably stop writing so I can help stop a Skynet situation from happening.

I take my humor dry with a side of pop culture.

Reading requests? Sure! Keep in mind, I'm busy. I'll probably only read the first chapter, and I'll absolutely give preference to readers who make regular comments.

More about me?

I live in Los Angeles with my wife, Christina, and our dog, Mortimer. Pro tip: never name your pet after a villain from an '80s Eddie Murphy comedy. You've been warned.

I went to law school, which was a terrible idea. I was a journalist for about a decade, which was a slightly better idea. These days, I'm a ghostwriter. BOO!

I'll watch anything with Ryan Gosling. When I was 12, I played a giant raccoon in a parade for a Korean amusement park. I've been tear-gassed twice. I try to walk five miles per day. I'm a vegetarian.

I drink too much coffee, but on the upside I share the strange conversations I have with baristas in a series called COFFEE TALK (updates Mondays).

I like to mess with telemarketers. Those stories are collected in TUESDAY'S WITH TELEMARKETERS. (Updates Tuesdays)

I'm a struggling yogi. You can read about that in YOGA DIARY (updates Wednesdays).

My current WIP is a comic fantasy called PROMETHEUS FRAMED that should remind you of a Chris Moore novel.
#AdultFic
  • Los Angeles
  • JoinedMarch 4, 2013



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mestrin mestrin 4 hours ago
Hello Wattpadders! Today is the day we find out if Peter's penis can be saved? Take a read and find out!https://www.wattpad.com/story/166026999
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