I'm Ian Saint Clair. Ever since I was 8 years old all I felt was pain. The pain of what my mother has done to me, the pain of what I've done too myself, the pain of never being loved, and the pain men of all ages have made me go through. I don't understand why I am the one to have so much pain. But I must deserve it because that's what my mom tells me everyday. So I've grown to believe her because the pain never ends. I don't know if it will ever end so why not end it myself.