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Della Rose By MountainDewwa Updated Sep 08, 2014

     I thought that I was strong, beautiful, courageous, hopeful... yet, somehow, it seems I know nothing about myself at all. 

You see, my strength came from him. I felt strong in his presence, because I felt like we were unstoppable. Yet, truly, it was only he who was unstoppable. I simply fed from his vibes. 

He made me feel beautiful. I thought that I had come to some sort of peace with myself, finally overcoming my insecurities, and feeling comfortable in my own skin, but... it was only the peace which he allowed me. Every compliment he gave me fed the confidence, and as the compliments withered away, so did my beauty. 

I was convinced we could conquer the world together; he and I. I thought I was courageous, believing I could take on anything, but now I realize that I only believe I can do that with him by my side. He is no longer by my side, therefore, I can no longer conquer anything. 

I was always hoping, believing, that things would change, unfold into something beautiful...

  • ana
  • anorexia
  • breakup
  • broken
  • brokenhearted
  • depressed
  • diary
  • entry
  • heartbreak
  • recovery
  • sad