5000 words rewritten. I hope you know how much I love you guys cause I'm fucking tired.
Harry is passed out.
I mindlessly stare at his peaceful state. I slowly sit up and head into my room to shower. I walked around Vegas all night clearing my head. I've been trying not to let what Harry said last night affect me too much but I'm not going to lie, it really hurt. I just have a lot on my mind. I haven't been myself lately.
Harry says I deserve better, I know I do. I deserve kindness. Something else that I've really thought about is that even though bad things happen I have come out a much stronger woman because of them.
Maybe I overreacted a bit last night. I just don't want to see someone's life being taken away from them. That person has a completely vivid life just like myself. They have a story. I've watched too many people die. Granted it was a consequence they knew would end up coming their way but that doesn't change the fact that they still died.
I feel like this is hypocritical because I'm so worried about other people dying yet if it were me I wouldn't want to be saved. My first overdose wasn't an accident. I wanted to die. I did die but I was pulled back from the peace. I don't want to die anymore but I'm also not scared of it as one should be.
If someone asked me what my greatest fear is it would be being alone. I self isolate as punishment to myself but in reality being alone is something that terrifies me. That's why I'm back here. It's a stupid thing to be scared of but when you are alone you are forgotten. So be it if I'm just a distraction, at least he wants me around.
I get dressed in a red leather skirt and a black t-shirt that I stole from Harry. If he has an issue with it I could really care less. I also don't want my presence to seem like all is forgiven because it's not. Just because he said he's sorry that doesn't mean shit. I need actions to prove he is actually sorry.
I washed my hair twice yesterday so I didn't need to wash it today. My natural waves will have to do since I don't have anything to style it with. We are heading back to California today so it's not like I have to be super fancy if we are just going to be in the car.
I ordered some omelets for both Harry and I because he is going to need some food in his system. Once I hang up the phone for room service Harry stanters down the stairs.
"I ordered some breakfast and coffee." I state and pick at my cuticles.
"Can we talk about last night?" He asks and sits down in the stool next to me at the island.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Well I think we should."
"I have nothing to say but if you do go ahead." I state and continue to pick at my skin.
"I'm not used to having someone else around when I'm doing business so I honestly forgot that you were here."
"Wow that makes me feel so much better." I sarcastically state.
"Carolina I'm trying here."
"I don't know why you would try at all, I'm just a distraction right." I say repeating his words from last night.
"You know that's not true." Harry sighs and pushes some stray curls out of his face.
"Prove it then. I don't care how many times you apologize it won't mean shit. I need actions Harry."
The elevator dings and a hotel worker comes in with a cart of food. Harry stands up and tips the guy. I stand up and grab my plate and cup of coffee.
"They didn't get your coffee right. It's black." Harry states as we sit back down at the island.
"I ordered it that way." I shrug.
"I thought you hated black coffee."
"I do. I needed something strong."
We eat in silence and once I'm done I get up and sit on the couch in the living room, turning on the tv. Harry gets a phone call so he steps into the gym to take it. The tv isn't super loud so I can hear him yell at the person on the other end of the call. I continue to sip on my black coffee which honestly makes me gag but I'm drinking this as a reminder of NA. To stay sober.
My sobriety is really testing me right now because I just want to be numb and forget everything. I almost got high last night in some random casino but as I was about to snort a line I dropped the rolled dollar bill on the table and stormed out. That alone is a huge step for me and I'm proud of myself but that doesn't mean I will be able to stop myself again.
When the gym door slams shut I jump a bit and see an enraged Harry. He throws his phone on the couch before grabbing his coffee off the counter.
"Everything okay?" I decide to ask.
"Just business."
Alrighty then. I mind my own business and finish off my coffee.
"I'm gonna head upstairs and pack up my clothes. What time are we hitting the road?" I set my empty cup back on the cart along with our plates.
"There's been a change of plans." Harry huffs out.
"What do you mean?"
"We aren't leaving today."
"I was really looking forward to being in my own home." I say as I head towards the stairs.
"I know. We are leaving in a week."
"Okay. Can we go do something today then?" I really hope he says yes because I can't be cooped up here all day. Yes it's spacious but I will rip my hair out if I don't busy myself. Or I will go get high because my ribs are a little sore.
"I have to scan an area before it gets dark. If you want to come with you are welcome to but it is business related."
"I need makeup if we are going out I look like a troll."
Harry pulls out his wallet and takes out a card, handing it to me.
"Order whatever you need and I'll have someone pick it up." I stare down at the card in my hand before looking back up at Harry.
"Thank you. Just a heads up though flashing your money at me isn't going to win me over." I laugh a bit and get halfway up the stairs before realizing I don't have a phone or computer with me.
"Harry I'm gonna need your phone." Harry gives me a confused look.
"So I can order the things I need." I give him context.
"Grab it from the couch ,the code is 3981." Harry walks back towards the gym and strips off his shirt. He was still just in boxers. Maybe I'll stay down here and enjoy the view.
I grab his phone and plop down on the couch. After typing in the code I head straight to safari and go to sephora. I pick out the necessities and then put in Harry's card information. He must really trust me because I don't think I would even trust Callie with my phone. Once it's purchased I get up and walk into the gym.
"Here's your stuff back." Harry stops punching the punching bag and sticks his hand out to stop it's movement.
Harry walks his sweat covered body directly in front of me and with his tape covered hand grabs his phone and credit card from my hand, setting it down on the ground.
"Do you workout a lot?" I know the answer to that by the way is biceps and back muscles look.
"I do. Gotta stay in shape for my job Carolina."
I sit down on a yoga ball in the mirror cover room.
"Why do you call me Carolina?" I ask the question I've been dying to ask.
"I give everyone who's important to me a nickname. Yours is Carolina because of where you are from and I think it suits you."
"Everyone? So what's Gemma's?"
"Hers is Gem or Gems." Harry chuckles a bit.
"How is she doing? You know with her sobriety and all."
"My mate Liam has been looking after her for me she's about the same as she was but word is that she's been sober for about 4 days now."
I'm so glad that she's actually pushing to get better now.
"I'm proud of her." I simply state.
Harry then gets into a plank position and looks up at me.
"Think you could sit on my back for me?"
"You are all sweaty and I already showered." I cringe.
"Grab one of the towels from the counter over there." Harry nods his head towards the far right corner of the room. I stand up and grab one of the black towels before standing in front of Harry.
"Spread it out on my back then sit." Harry orders.
"Yes sir." I give him a playful salute earning a smile and a head shake before doing as he said.
I feel like I'm gonna crush him but Harry's form doesn't budge in the slightest. I sit there for about 2 minutes before Harry pushes up into a push up position and starts doing push ups with me on his back.
"Okay show off."
"Carolina I could make you fall on your ass right now." Harry grunts out.
"Mhm sure I'd like to see you try."
In a sudden movement Harry flips and falls down onto his back. I squeal as I fall forward landing completely on top of him. I sit myself up so I'm sitting rather than laying and the sly smirk on Harry's face makes me burst out in laughter.
"You think you are so slick don't you." I laugh out.
"As a matter of fact I do."
"Well I hate to kill your little ego boost but you said my ass and I technically fell forward. In other words I won the bet." I cross my arms in front of me and lift my chin a bit to mock him.
"And if I had won what would be my prize?" Harry asks.
"Hmm let me think. Nothing because you didn't win. Don't be a sore loser Harry."
Harry then sits up a bit and wraps an arm behind my back. In a swift movement I'm now on my back with Harry now on top of me. I want to wipe that shit eating grin off of his face.
"Now would you look at that, guess I ended up winning afterall."
"That's not fair!" I gape.
"Ah ah ah, don't be a sore loser Carolina." Harry tsks and drops his head lower.
"Fine. What would you like your prize to be?" I roll my eyes.
"Well first I would like a kiss and then we are gonna go upstairs."
"Why would we go upstairs?"
"Because I said I would let your brattiness slide last time but I'm done playing nice." Harry's deep voice sends a chill down my spine.
"Now I would like my kiss then after that you will head upstairs into your room. Am I understood?"
"Yes sir."
"Good girl." Harry then smashes his lips on mine. Our kiss is full of desperation and desire. The tension and sexual frustration from yesterday in the shower still present. I weave my hands into Harry's hair as a way to try and get him closer to me but we are already so close to each other. When Harry's tongue swipes across my bottom lip I open my mouth so it can invade my mouth.
I slide my right hand in between us and palm him through his underwear earning a deep moan in response. Harry moves my hand away and stands up.
"Upstairs. Now."
I stand up quickly and readjust my skirt that has ridden up my thighs before scurrying out of the gym and heading up the stairs into my room. I sit down on the bed and look towards the door waiting for Harry. When I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs my heart rate picks up and a throb builds in between my legs.
"May I just say something about you in a skirt really turns me one. Maybe because it's nostalgic." Harry states as he walks to stand in front of me. His hand caresses my cheek and he leaves a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"How is your pain today?" He asks while looking deep into my eyes.
"Sore but bearable." Harry nods in response and takes a step back.
"Strip."
I do as I'm told and start with my skirt kicking it off once it's at my feet. I then pull Harry's shirt off slowly and toss it onto the floor once it's off. I lean back a bit then wrap my hands around the lace underwear and drag them down. Once off I toss them at Harry who catches them without even looking.
"Touch yourself for me."
I don"t waste a second and drag my hand over my full breasts down my body until I reach my clit. I move my middle and ring finger down in between my folds before rubbing slow, small circles on my clit. My head falls back and my eyes flutter closed as I moan at the pleasure that swims through my body.
Harry's now naked body comes up and he grabs my hips pulling towards the edge of the bed then proceeds to kneel in front of me.
"Arms above your head." This time I don't immediately do as he says and I continue to play with myself.
Harry grabs my hand to stop my movements and I whine and pout at him.
"Don't pout, I just wanna taste." My heart skips a beat at his words. I move my arms above my head and Harry spreads my legs wider. He leaves a trail of kisses down each of my inner thighs before licking up my folds and humming. The contact makes my body twitch and a moan leaves my lips.
"So good." He hums into me before aiming his focus on my clit.
The slow pace of his tongue circling on my clit is torturous. The site of him in between my thighs alone is almost enough to make me cum.
"Harry stop teasing." I whine out.
"Such a desperate little thing aren't you." Harry sits his head up to look at me with that cocky smirk again.
"Please." I beg. I feel like I'm going to burst.
"Please what?"
"Please make me cum."
Harry needs nothing else from me because he quickly attaches his mouth back onto my clit and goes at a much quicker pace than before. I cry out at the intensity and grip and handful of Harry's hair to try and ground myself. When Harry slips 2 fingers inside of my I'm almost to my breaking point. When my orgasm comes full force I cry out a mix of moans and Harry's name while my legs shake but Harry doesn't stop his movements. I'm still trying to recover from my first orgasm when I feel another building. The pleasure coursing through my body is so intense it's almost painful. My second orgasm hits me head on and I literally scream and have to push Harry away because of how sensitive I am.
I'm then grabbed by my throat and yanked forward.
"On your fucking knees." Harry sternly orders.
Like the needy whore I am I immediately drop down onto my knees and take his outrageously hard dick into my mouth. Harry's head rolls back before reaching to the back of my head and aggressively pushes himself deeper into my mouth, sliding down my throat. I look up at him through my eyelashes as he continues to fuck my throat. His moans echo through the room as his movements become sloppy. With one final thrust forward Harry cums down my throat then pulls my head back by my hair.
"Carolina, when were you going to tell me that you don't have a gag reflex?" Harry asks while pushing his sweaty hair away from his face.
"You never asked." I stand up and shrug. I bend down to grab my clothes and receive a hard smack against my ass. I turn around and gape at him.
"Don't be a smartass. Go clean up, we are leaving in an hour. I'll go pick up the shit you ordered and bring it up." Harry glares at me a bit before sliding his underwear back up his legs and walking out.
***
An hour later Harry and I are walking out of the hotel lobby and to the car. We are heading to a casino apparently.
"So why do you need to scope out a place before you go?" I ask as we are driving down the strip.
"I have to check for cameras and make a mental note of all exits."
"And you have to go unnoticed while scoping out right?"
"Pretty much. We are gonna gamble a bit."
Gambling is all a scam. That's why you have to scam the scammers. I used to do some kinda shady shit when I was younger. I pickpocketed, hacked, and did those card magic tricks that really give you no way of winning your money back. Once I was 18 I learned how to count cards. It's really not that hard when you think about it. You just have to pay attention but at the same time stay unnoticed.
Harry valets his car and we walk into the cigarette smoke filled casino. Harry puts a hand on the small of my back and guides me through a multitude of slot machines until we get to a game table. Black jack or better known as 21. Harry stands near an active game to give off the vibe that he is watching but in reality I see his eyes continually looking around the ceiling. I for one am focused on the dealer. How she shuffles the deck. How she's dealing them. I'm analyzing her every move.
When Harry takes a seat at the game table I move and sit on his lap. He gives me a weird look but doesn't tell me to get off. When he is dealt in I have already taken note that she only has 2 decks mixed together and she deals from the bottom. True Count at the moment is -2 meaning the house has the advantage.
I lean down and kiss Harry's neck before whispering, "place a small bet."
I kiss his neck a couple more times to make it seem more natural Before sitting back up and watching the game. The dealer's card is a 6 so that's one point in our advantage. Harry's face card is a Jack which is valued as ten. Harry decides to hit and gets another Jack. He lost this round but now our advantage has gone up.
He looks at me with a smile and I kiss his lips.
"Small bet again."
Harry places his bet then is dealt in again. After the last deal True Count is still -2 but if I'm right it will be in his favor next deal. The Dealer's card is now a 8 and Harry's face card is a 5. It's an okay hand but I can't see his bottom card. Harry hits 3 times and busts again but that is what we want. True Count after this last deal is now +3 so I was right it's in his favor.
Harry looks at me again and I simply wink at him. He caught the drift because he places a much larger bet than anyone else at the table. The Dealer's card is a 2 and Harry's face card is an Ace which can be played as either a 1 or an 11. Harry stands and the dealer places a singular card down on the hand. It's an 8. Harry is to flip his bottom card over and he has Blackjack since his bottom card was a 10. Harry's bet is then paid 1 and a half times the bet he placed which was $1,000. Harry takes his chips walking away with $1,500.
"How did you do that?" He asks me once we are walking over to a different game table section.
"Do what?" I play dumb.
"You know exactly what I'm referring to." Harry deadpans.
"It was just a lucky guess." I shrug and stop walking when Harry observes another game.
I don't know how to play Craps since it's not a card game but it doesn't seem like Harry is gonna play anyways. We end up walking around the casino a bit before Harry cashes out and we head off to the bar. Harry orders us both a water and we sit down at the bar.
"No more bullshit, how did you do that?"
"It's one of the perks of living with someone who liked to gamble." I simply state and take a sip of my water.
"So you know how to count." Harry says a little too loud.
"Rule number one, don't ever say that shit in a fucking casino you idiot. Rule number two, always follow rule number one."
"So you do." Harry raises his eyebrows at me and smirks.
"Like I said you just had luck on your side." I roll my eyes at him and take another sip of water.
"Who would've thought. Carolina likes to play dirty. It would be handy for tonight."
"I always play dirty and handy for what?"
"It would be handy to have my lucky charm with me while I gamble with old rich pigs tonight."
"That was a one time thing." I push his shoulder.
"I'll make you a deal, whatever you help me win tonight is yours." Harry reaches his hand out for me to shake on it.
"All of it?" I ask.
"All of it."
"Deal, pleasure doing business with you." I shake his hand.
"We should head back there's a few things we need to go over if you are coming with."
We drive back to the hotel and order some more food. Sitting on the couch with a salad in my hand and Harry with a burger in his we went over a few things.
Harry has to kill one of the people he will be gambling with but he assured me that it wouldn't be in the hotel and that I wouldn't be there for it. That's another thing, I'll be left alone at a game table while he does what he has to. I'm fine with that because there is security around at all times and because I don't really have anything to worry about since Zayn is dead. I have to wear a dress because apparently he is playing with higher ups or something I don't really know. All I know is I need to stay close to Harry and when he leaves the game table I stay seated.
"So are you gonna teach me your trick?" Harry asks with a mouth full of food.
"No because then you wouldn't need me anymore."
"That's not true, I'll always need you." Harry says softly.
"Ok you can turn down the ass kissing now." I joke.
"Damn I was really hoping it would've worked." He jokes back.
"I know every trick in the book so you're going to have to try harder than that."
"Was it your mom who taught you?"
"I'd be lucky if she taught me anything in life. It was my grandma." I sigh.
"What was her name?"
"Robin. Everyone called her birdie though, I guess it was either because of her name or her love for birds."
"She sounds like an interesting person."
"Oh she had a character that's for sure. That's enough sad shit for the night I'm going to go get ready." I stand up from the couch and set my empty plate down on the cart.
"Oh Harry, are you going to be playing Craps tonight?" I ask.
"Possibly why?"
"I'll do some research before we leave and see if there's a loophole or something." I simply state before walking up the stairs.
Time to be the best wingwoman I've ever been.
-AUTHORS NOTE-
We went through so many things this chapter.
It's almost 2 am but I'm posting this chapter now because it was supposed to be up earlier. iykyk.
Next update won't be until after Christmas so merry Christmas ya filthy animals.
Kisses!!!