(Cora's POV)
I pulled out of a deep sleep to the sound of a phone ringing. I groan when it just continues to keep ringing.
"Ash. Ash. ASHTON!"
"Mmm."
"Answer the damn phone already." I can't keep the growl back. I was irritated to have been woken up from my sleep.
"Fuck." He rolls over and I hear him fumble with it before he finally answers. "What?"
"I'm sorry to wake you." That's all I hear before I drown out her voice. It's been three days now sense we moved into the castle. You'd think I'd be coming to better terms with the whole Samantha situation but nope. Not even a little.
I wasn't myself anymore either. I was lying to everyone. Myself included. I still haven't told Ash that I'm pregnant yet either. It just never felt like the right time or when I did get the nerve to tell him someone always interrupted.
The whole feeding off other people together wasn't working out either. Ash and I have barely had a moment to ourselves to share another feeding together. The servants didn't mind donating but Ash refused to allow me to feed off of anyone when he wasn't around.
I was going to have to tell him soon because Dr. Jonas says it isn't safe for the baby for me to continue to not take in as much blood as I should be everyday.
I bury my head under my pillow as I try to drown out their voices and go back to sleep. I was getting tired more easily everyday. My hormones were also still all over the place. My craving were weird. I kept wanting things I didn't even like.
My body was changing too. My breasts were getting bigger along with my hips. I even had a small bump already. I'm surprised Ash hasn't been able to tell just from that.
The doctor says a female vampire only carries a baby for about 1-2 months. From the ultrasound Dr. Jonas did yesterday he thinks I'm about a week along now. I really needed to tell Ash today.
Ash and I were still on rocky terms. I was trying so hard to be strong for him. To support him and accept things as they were but I couldn't keep the resentment completely out of my heart. Whenever Samantha came around I'd close up and distance myself. I wanted to be stronger for him but I didn't know how.
All of a sudden I'm running out of bed and into the bathroom. I get the toilet seat up just in time as I empty my stomach. I feel Ash come up behind me to hold my hair. He rubs my back until there's nothing left in my stomach to throw up.
He helps me stand when I'm done and helps me walk over to the bathroom sink. I rinse my mouth out with water before I put tooth paste on my tooth brush.
"Are you okay baby? Did you catch a stomach bug or something? You aren't suppose to be able to get sick."
"I'm fine, love. It was probably just something I ate. It just didn't settle right with my stomach that's all. Hurry and go to Samantha. She needs to feed."
"She'll be fine for a few minutes. Let me take care of you first." Arguing with him would be pointless so I just brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out with mouth wash.
Ash helps me back into bed when I'm done. I vaguely remember him kissing me on my forehead before I fall back to sleep.
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⚠️⚠️⛔ TRIGGER WARNING⛔⚠️⚠️
THIS PART OF THE STORY CONTAINS A MISCARRIAGE. PLEASE SKIP AHEAD IF MISCARRIAGE IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU!!
"Hey sleepy head are you just gonna sleep the day away?" I groan as Stella's voice wakes me up.
"What time is it?"
"Three in the evening."
Well damn I guess I was going to sleep the day away. I sit up as I try to rub the sleep from my eyes.
"Where's Ash?"
"He had to take Samantha somewhere. I didn't really get the details but he asked me to check in on you. Said you woke up puking last night." I shudder at the memory.
"I'm fine. I think whatever I ate just didn't settle right with my stomach."
I swing my legs over the bed and stand up. As soon as I'm on my feet a piercing pain stabs me in my lower abdomen and pelvis. I scream out in pain as I grab my stomach.
I glance down when I feel liquid sliding down between my legs. I'm horrified to see all the blood rushing down my legs and pooling at my feet.
"No, no, no!" I chant out loud.
"Cora! Oh goddess Cora. I think you're having a miscarriage. Hold on, I'm gonna find help." She rushes towards the door, swinging it open and yelling for help at the same exact time I fall to the floor screaming in agony again. I cry as I curl up into a ball as the pain gets worse.
No, no, no. I couldn't lose my baby. Please, goddess no. Please don't take my baby.
I scream out in a different kind of agony. This one coming from my heart and soul. I feel my power rush up and explode out of me. I wasn't sure how I knew no one was in the room when it happened but I did.
My room was completely destroyed by my powers and I didn't give one fuck. I was losing my baby.
Next thing I know I'm being lifted up and rushed to the infirmary. Everyone is talking at once. Somehow I hear Stella above everyone else.
"Ashton! You need to come home now. It's Cora."
"What about Cora, Stella?" I could hear the fear and panic in his voice.
I suddenly started to feel extremely tired. The doctor must have given me something to help put me to sleep but I fight it. I wasn't trying to go to sleep right now.
I hear Stella's voice again before everything goes black. How I heard her through my struggles and screaming at everyone was beyond me.
"She's having a miscarriage Ash." She sobs.
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⚠️❗END OF TRIGGER❗⚠️
I slowly blink my eyes open. Tears start leaking out of my eyes as I stare at the white ceiling above me. I lost my baby and it was all my fault. A sob escapes my throat.
"Cora! Babygirl I'm here." Ash says rushing over to me. He grabs my hand in both of his. There was a seat next to the bed where he sat down.
My tears are so heavy and my throat is so tight I couldn't talk. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was broken inside. My brain kept repeating I lost my baby and it's all my fault.
"Baby why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" Ash's voice breaks at the end. He has tears running down his face too. I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"I was going to. I tried for the last three days now but I was always interrupted when I tried or discouraged. I made a promise to myself that I was going to tell you today no matter what." My voice comes out just barely audible. It was as broken as I felt inside.
"It's my fault."
"How can it be your fault when you didn't even know?" Now I was angry. I sit up and try to get off the infirmary bed.
"Because the signs were there Cora and I didn't even acknowledge them! Your impossible fucking mood swings. Your hunger increasing. Your cravings. Your hips have even gotten thicker to accommodate our baby and your boobs are bigger too. I didn't fucking notice any of it! Not until now when it's too fucking late!"
Thankfully when I stand up there's no pain. "This isn't your fault! For goddess sake Ashton why are you not blaming me? It's my body that rejecting our baby. It was me who didn't tell you I was fucking pregnant! Blame me!" I scream at him.
He stands up too. He tries to cup my face but I pull away. The hurt look that comes over his face breaks my heart even more. I couldn't stand for him to touch me right now though. I didn't feel worthy of the comfort he was trying to give.
"Goddess Cora it isn't your fault. Your body rejecting our baby is not your fault. You can't stop a miscarriage. This is just the goddesses sick way of telling us we aren't ready to have a baby of our own right now. If you want someone to blame then blame her. This isn't your fault."
"He's right, your majesty. It isn't your fault." Dr. Jonas speaks up.
"How isn't it my fault?"
"You weren't doing anything wrong. If anything you were doing everything right. Sometimes women's bodies end up rejecting the baby. There's nothing you can do to prevent it and when it starts to happen there's nothing you can do to stop it."
"If I got pregnant again would it happen again?"
"There's no way to know for certain but we can be more cautious and take more precautions but again there isn't anything we can do to prevent a miscarriage if it's going to happen."
"Thank you Dr. May I please go?"
"Yes but maybe you should consider talking to someone. Talking helps and it's good for the healing process."
"I'll keep that in mind."
I leave the infirmary with Ash right on my heels. I head straight for my room. I don't want to see anyone or let alone talk to anyone.
Ash follows me all the way to our room. He shuts the door softly behind us as I climb back into bed. He lays down next to me and pulls me into his chest. He wraps his arms securely around me. I eventually cry myself to sleep.
I'm woken up to soft knocking on the door. Ash gently extracts himself from around me to go and answer it. He steps out into the hallway but keeps the door cracked.
"How is she?"
"Hurting. It'll be awhile before she's back to herself."
"Stella wanted to come see her but I told her it'd be better to wait."
"Thank you. I don't think she'll be able to see or talk to anyone for awhile."
"Understandable. Zeke and Saharrah are arriving tonight. Along with some of the other female vampires the elders turned."
"Let me know when they get here."
"Yeah no problem. Take care of her."
"I will. Oh Seb! Have Samantha feed from someone else. I don't want to be disturbed again until Zeke and the others arrive."
"Of course, your majesty."
I hear the door click shut. Ash climbs back into bed and wraps me into his arms again. My back is to his front so he can't see that my eyes are opened.
"Baby are you hungry?" I guess he knew I wasn't sleeping anyways.
"No." I croak out. I clear my throat. I was thirsty but didn't have the energy to do anything.
"You should eat baby. Or at least feed from me."
"No." I don't care what he says. I'm not doing any of that. If he wanted to feed someone he could go feed the mother of his child. At least he was still having a baby. I think bitterly to myself.
"I need to take a shower."
"I'll take one with you."
"I'm fine Ash. I'm not going to fucking break."
"I know baby. I still want to take a shower with you."
"Fine. But I'm not having sex with you."
"Babygirl I would never try to have sex with you after something as tragic as what you just went through. You need time to heal."
I go into the bathroom and turn the shower on. Ash helps me take my clothes off before he takes his own off. I unconsciously cover my breasts. I wasn't shy or embarrassed about being naked in front of him. I felt vulnerable and exposed though.
I step into the steamy hot water. It felt good running down my body. Ash gently turns me around in the water and starts to wash my hair. His fingers felt good as they massaged my scalp. He rinses the soap out when he's done.
After that he adds conditioner to my hair. As it sets in he starts to wash my body. I'm ashamed to say I got turned on and horny when he started washing between my legs. I shamefully can't hold back a moan when his finger accidentally hits my most sensitive part.
"Fuck Cora don't do that. I'm having a hard enough time not turning this sexual and that's not helping. You need healing before we have sex again."
"You think I don't know how fucked up I am for wanting sex right now?"
"You aren't fucked up baby. It's perfectly normal for your body to get turned on by touch. We just aren't going to act on it. Okay? I'm definitely going to need a cold shower for myself after though." I couldn't hold back my laugh.
"Goddess I missed your laugh." The look he was giving me made my toes curl and butterflies erupt in my stomach. I missed this too.
I was nowhere near healed. Not even close. I wouldn't be for a long time. You don't just get over a miscarriage in less than a day. But I would get better because I'm a strong female and I had Ash to help me through it.
It's time I start expressing my feelings and telling him when something is bothering me. Being honest when I don't like something or when something is pushing to far past my boundaries.
It's like he keeps saying, we're a team and I needed to start being apart of this team. I need to start fighting for us because we're a forever type of thing.
In the end it's him and I.
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