Chapter Twelve
Opening her eyes, Haven looked around. She was laying, wrapped up in her blankets, in her bed. Sitting up, she felt a swirl of nausea hit her, which caused her to immediately throw herself back down onto the pillows.
"Shit . . . " She breathed and slowly sat back up. Looking around her room, she could see it was just hitting day break. Her body ached, the muscles in her arms and legs were sore from the cold air of last night.
Sighing, she stood and looked down. She was still in the same set of clothes she'd worn last night and she could almost feel how heavy her hair was with grease. Shaking her head, she grabbed a pair of clothes from her bag and went down the steps.
After she made it down to the second floor, she closed the door behind her. Turning, she almost ran into Derek, who just shook his head and walked away from her. After she caught her breath, she headed over to the bathroom.
The door was open, so she walked in and closed it behind her. Then, she locked it and walked over to the window. It was open and a cold breeze was drifting into the room, causing goosebumps to raise on her lightly tanned skin.
Slamming it down, she locked that as well before turning to the shower. She turned the two handles -- one for hot and the other for cold -- and let the water slowly warm itself. As she stripped off her clothes, she yawned before stepping under the comforting water.
Haven quickly washed her hair and body before letting the water wash over her shaking frame. After awhile, the water started getting warm and she shut it off slowly, not wanting to feel how cold it would've gotten. Stepping out of the bath tub, she grabbed two towels and wrapped one around her body. Then, she wrapped her hair in the smaller towel.
After quickly drying off and dressing in her clothes, she brushed her teeth and used the mouthwash to get rid of the pasty feeling that was left in her mouth. Then, she let her hair down and ran her fingers through it a few times. It was damp and dripping on the floor, but it still wasn't dry enough to brush through it, yet.
Sighing, she left it alone and walked out of the bathroom with her dirty clothes and towel in hand. Back up in her room, she threw the clothes and towel on the ground and stomped her Vans onto her feet. Then, she looked in the mirror.
The whites of her eyes were red with irritation; almost like she had gotten high last night. Her skin was pale as could be and she looked like she needed about ten more hours of sleep due to the deep purple bags under her eyes.
"Haven?" She heard Darin's voice from the bottom of the steps.
"Yeah?" She croaked back.
"You sound like shit!" He hollered up the stairs as he walked up them. Sighing, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Once he reached the top of the steps, he stopped and frowned, "You look like hell, baby doll."
"That's exactly what I want to hear in the morning . . . Thank you," she sarcastically said, groaning as she stretched. He chuckled as she opened her eyes, taking in the glazed look they had.
"You look like you either got thrashed last night or you were geeking out a couple hours ago," he chuckled once again.
"Great!" She snapped through her annoyance, "Now everyone will think I'm still a druggie and that I'm going to be nothing but a bad influence on you! Thank you so much, Darin, for brightening up my day!"
"Aww, come on . . . What's bothering you?" He asked, sitting down on her bed and patting his hand on the comforter. She sighed, moving to sit down next to him, "Tell me what's bothering you, baby doll."
"What you said last night . . . " She mumbled slowly, her eyes falling to her feet on the floor, "Was that . . . everything?"
"About my sister?" He asked, causing her to nod, "Well, most of it . . . I just can't say the details to anything, yet. You're actually only the second person I told."
"Who was the other?" She asked, thinking it was Yolanda.
"Derek . . . " He slowly stated.
"You opened up to Derek about that?" She asked, surprised to the point that she had to look up and into his eyes to make sure he wasn't messing with her. He nodded at her question, his face falling into an expression of frustration and sorry.
"What is it?" She asked, still looking into his eyes with worry.
"Nothing . . . "
"You're lying," she said, causing him to look down at his feet.
"I am . . . " He admitted before speaking up, again, "I just . . . I don't know what to do anymore, Haven. I don't know whether or not to keep going or to just give up . . . It's almost like no one cares about me. It's almost like Derek doesn't mean it when he tells me he's there to talk to or that you don't mean what you say when you look at me the way you do . . . "
He stayed silent for a moment before anger took over, "Oh, what do you care anyway. Fuck this . . . "
He stormed out of her room and slammed the door at the bottom of the steps, causing her bed to shake from the force. Haven stayed where she was, wide-eyed and astonished at his reaction. She felt hurt and lonely, now . . . She didn't know Darin could snap so easily and go from being the happy, fun, loving Darin she'd come to know to being an angry, hateful and resentful person.
"What did I do . . . ?" She asked herself, standing and going over to the mirror.
Suddenly, her own rage took over as she heard Darin slam the door to the garage. Haven spun herself around and stomped her way down the steps. With as much force as she could mustar up, she slammed the door as hard as she could behind her, as well.
As she made her way down and into the kitchen, everyone that was eating breakfast or chatting in their place. The only one that didn't was Derek, who stood and blocked Haven's way out the back door.
"He doesn't want to see you, Haven . . . " Derek said under his breath so only she could hear what he was saying ot her, "You're just going to hurt him and you know it. You're going to be like everyone else and he doesn't need to feel anymore pain."
"Get the fuck out of my way, Derek," she snapped, causing his face to go blank. Surprised at her words and the lack of hurt from his, he moved over and let her out the door. Then, it shut behind her and she paused, second-guessing herself.
Before she knew it, though, Darin's motorcycle was starting up. With even more anger and frustration, she kicked the door to the garage open and pushed Darin as he started to open the garage door. He slammed back into the work bench and looked straight at her through astonishment at how much weight she could push around, due to her small stature.
"What?" He suddenly snapped, no longer surprised.
"You have no idea what to do with yourself, do you? You keep telling yourself that it is the right thing to do, but it's not. You're giving up, Darin. You're giving up on everything and on everyone who loves you. You keep saying how nobody cares . . . and of course you say that. You know why?" She snapped, pushing him back into the wall.
"Because you're not listening to anyone. We all care, but you wouldn't understand that even if I kept pushing you into the wall or if I beat it into you with a goddamn baseball bat. You have no clue how I've been feeling since you told me -- no idea at all. I've cried for you! I'm scared shit-less for you and for her, even though she's gone, because of what she went through! But you know what . . . It's not even worth it. You're the only one who doesn't care, Darin. Not Derek, not me, you. Think about that. If you're smart, you'll listen to Derek. If you're not, then we can't help you anymore," she spat out at him.
Suddenly, Darin slammed his lips to hers. Haven was shocked for only a moment before kissing him back, leaning into his chest and feeling his body form to hers. His hand tangled in her now dry hair and pulled her lips impossibly closer to his.
"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that . . . " He whispered against her lips, pulling back slightly from her.
"What?" She mumbled back, not realizing what had just happened.
"You're so cute when you're confused," he smiled, rubbing his nose against hers.
For a moment, they were both silent and unmoving, just staring into one another's eyes. All of a sudden, Haven smiled at him and whispered a request he could never have denied her, "Kiss me, again . . . "
"Does this mean you two are a thing now?" They heard a familiar voice ask from the doorway, breaking their kiss and causing their heads to swing to the side of them.
Standing there, hair mussed up and a half smile spread across one side of his face was Derek. He looked at Darin with wonder and amazement, not because he kissed Haven, but because he managed to find someone that felt the same lost feeling he had felt for the last couple years of his life. He was trying to find peace and happiness, again . . . and he didn't care about what anyone thought of Haven; he knew her and he knew that. He wouldn't let anyone get between them and Derek could finally see that.
"Dude, your smile is creeping me out . . . " Haven said, using that as an excuse to turn toward the wall and blush a bright, crimson red.
"Are you blushing . . . ?" Darin asked, turning her face toward himself. When he saw that she was, a smile exploded across his face, "You're cute when you blush, too."
"Like . . . Gag me with a spoon!" Derek said, making his voice high pitched and attempting to sound like a girl.
"That was . . . That was just sad . . . " Haven said, looking over at him through surprise before laughing slightly.
Derek walked into the garage and shut the door behind him. He sighed, walking to the work bench nearest to the door and hopping up onto it. He sat down and leaned back into the wall, watching as Haven and Darin stared into each other's eyes. It was almost as if they were having a silent conversation . . . It was like they were connecting with each other on a level Derek has never understood.
"I don't mean to interrupt your moment, but we do need to figure out what's going on . . . because if Maragret and Charlie find out you two are a couple, now, one of you has to get out of here . . . " He said, sighing and looking down at his feet, "It's protocol, man . . . and you know the newest kid goes first."
"Shit . . . " Darin said, letting his hands and arms fall from Haven. She looked up at him, a desperate plea on her face, causing him to whisper gently to her with worry and concern, "What is it, baby doll?"
"Maybe we shouldn't . . . " She whispered, turning away and looking down at the garage floor. As much as it pained her to say it, she knew it was the reality of the situation. She knew there was no way they would get away with hiding it from Charlie or Maragret . . . and definitely not from Yolanda, who would snitch on them the second she found out.
"Why not?"
"Because if they find out, one of two things happens . . . " She whispered, turning and looking up. She switched her gaze between Darin and Derek as she explained, "If I get kicked out, they send me to Juvie. If you get kicked out, I'll never have contact and we won't see each other ever again . . . but if we just . . . stay friends . . . If we stay friends, we have a couple months to go and we can leave this foster home for good and never look back."
"We are seniors, Darin . . . " Derek said, looking up at them.
"Graduation is in June, Haven," Darin whispered, grabbing her small and delicate hand in his large, masculine one. He drew circles on the back of her hand with his thumb, not wanting to let her go.
"May 31st . . . " She corrected him with a small smile.
"It's the same thing, baby doll," he whispered, watching as she nodded and looked down, the smile dropping from her lips.
They all stayed silent and eventually, Haven sat down on the skateboard near the work bench. Darin leaned against the wall and Derek didn't move from his spot. They kept looking up at each other and back down at the floor, trying to come up with a plan.
"How about something else?" Derek mumbled, watching them in their misery as they realized they'd have to stay apart another three, almost four months before they could be happy together, again.
"What do you mean something else?" Darin asked, looking up and out the window as he listened to Derek's thought process.
"You two can keep going like you did before, and I'll cover for you like I did the other night if need be . . . " Derek mumbled, watching as Haven's eyes flashed with curiosity.
"You covered for us?"
"For him, not you," Derek quickly said, watching as Darin's eyes moved slowly back down at Haven. He looked miserable as he thought of letting her go, because he didn't want to lose her. He had never been this close to anyone before and he didn't want to lose her after waiting for someone, for what felt like forever, to come along and make him feel warmth and happiness, again.
"It can't be every night, though . . . " Derek mumbled, again, "You would have to wait until after they checked rooms because there's no one to warn her if they start going up to the attic . . . Besides, I would need to be awake and you would have to look like you were sleeping."
"We do have one problem, though . . . " Haven quietly spoke, looking up at Darin.
"Matthew," Darin said, anger taking over him, again. He spun around and slammed his fist into the work bench, causing Haven to jump up and back away from him. For a moment, Haven thought he was going to storm out of the garage . . . but then he sighed.
"Baby doll . . . I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have lost my temper," he whispered.
She went over to him quickly, burying her face in his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, Darin sighed, kissing her head. He whispered gently to her, apologizing once again for his mistake.
"I'm so sorry . . . I really need to work on that."
"You can't lose your temper with her like that . . . " Derek said, standing and stretching. Darin nodded, agreeing with him completely.
"What are we going to do about Matthew . . . and Yolanda?" Haven mumbled, still hugging Darin, "If she finds out, she'll tell someone and get me kicked out . . . She'll make sure we never seen each other, again, and then she'll go after you . . . I don't want to lose you; I only just got you to myself."
"I'll figure something out, baby doll . . . " He whispered into her hair. She turned to look up at him and he gave her a weak smile, "No one is going to take me away from you, okay? I can promise you that."