The past few weeks had been miserable for everyone. Not only were Emmy and Sirius not talking to each other, but Marlene and Fabian had also broken up, and Dorcas and Florent too. There had been innumerable disappearances over the past couple of days alone; people's family members and friends had disappeared without a trace.
Emmy had been helping Professor Dumbledore in some of his first and second year classes, relishing the extra work to take her mind off it all. It was only in the moment when she gave herself over to the spell, she was able to forget Sirius for a second. The look on his face and the agony she'd felt was not something she would ever be able to put behind her.
She was so adamant about staying away from Sirius, she'd managed to get special permission to apparate to Waterfleet on full moons, not willing to put herself into a position where she'd have to rely on him.
She and Remus had a massive fight about it and he only blamed her maddening stubbornness and pride when she returned missing half a finger the next morning, having spliced it when she tried to apparate out of a snowstorm only minutes after her transformation. There was no way to go back to reattach it so she'd just had to let Madam Pomfrey stitch it up.
She was picking at the bandage on it a couple of days later as they waited for the fourth years to file out of the potions classroom for the last period of the day.
It had been a long Thursday and they were all ready to slump in the common room by the fire, so they were praying for an easy class of textbook-reading and note-copying when Slughorn burst the door open and ushered them in excitedly.
"Come in, class. I've got a real treat for you all today!"
Emmy exchanged a bemused glance with Marlene as they went in, squeezing into the semicircle next to Alice and Lily. She could smell something delicious, something dreamy. For all the world, she could have sworn it smelt like Christmas trees, birthday candles that had just been blown out and that gorgeously sweet smell of a summer's night that reminded her fondly of their trip down south that summer, all at the same time.
She looked around to see everyone sniffing oddly. What was smelling so good? She nudged Marlene smiling, "I could live on the smell of Christmas trees, couldn't you?"
"Christmas trees? All I can smell is those cinnamon rolls my mum makes... and an odd mix of hairspray and the wildflower meadow behind our house..."
Emmy could tell Sirius was staring at her from across the classroom, but she refused to look in his direction instead nodding along as Marlene talked.
Sirius groaned quietly, "She won't look at me."
"Come on, mate," sighed James, "She was perfectly clear, she doesn't want to be with you now. That doesn't mean she won't when the war's over. We've been through this a hundred times. Just give her time."
"I know," muttered Sirius.
"By the way, is anyone else smelling the quidditch pitch or am I going mad?"
Remus dumped his bag on the desk as he arrived, "Nah, but I can smell chocolate... and something like old books... and the sea. Must be amortentia Sluggy's got brewing."
"Amor-what-tia?" asked a puzzled Peter, sniffing around furiously.
"It's a love potion supposedly, that's why it smells so good."
Sirius ran his hands through his hair and leant back against the wall of the dungeon. The scent of the early morning mountain air, breakfast at the Potters' and what was unmistakably Emmy, specifically the edelweiss soap she used, filled his nose.
He missed her more than he ever thought he would, he missed her laugh and the feeling of her arms around him, but most of all he missed just being near her. It seemed like the two people he loved most in the world had deserted him.
Regulus arrived a day late to Hogwarts, shirt sleeve pulled suspiciously firmly down across his forearm and James had to hold him back to stop him going straight over and interrogating him.
James would never admit it but it had taken a toll on him as well as Sirius. He'd know Regulus since the boy was eight years old, and Sirius was as good as a brother, so he was naturally concerned for him.
The sound of Lily Evans' voice soared above the rest and James smiled to himself before turning as she spoke.
"I think it's amortentia, I read about it last year."
"Isn't that a love potion?" Dorcas replied.
"Well, it actually just causes infatuation, not true love. It's pretty dangerous really."
"Correct, Miss Evans," interrupted Slughorn, beaming at his star pupil from the front of the room. He raised his hands to quieten the class.
"The potion you are all smelling is called amortentia. I brewed some of this fascinating little potion earlier and thought we could spend some time working on the liquidation process..."
He gestured to the potion bubbling away on his desk with its characteristic glimmering pink spirals floating up into the air as they all leaned in to look. The professor chuckled in delight at their interest and set about handing out the ingredients to the class.
The next hour went by particularly slowly. Emmy was very aware of the fact Sirius had been glancing at her every thirty seconds and was finding it increasingly hard to focus on her potion once she realised that her all favourite smells reminded her of him; the birthday candles he would make a joke of covering her entire birthday cake with, the Christmas tree they both curled up next to at James' house for the long evenings during the holidays, and that beachy smell was exactly how it felt to be lying next to him in the sand last summer.
With one inhale she could practically feel his lips on hers and his chest rising and falling with the sound of the waves.
Marlene nudged her arm slightly, "You alright?"
"I'm fine," she shot back, dragged away from the blissful memory, and then immediately felt bad. "Sorry, I'm just a little on edge."
Her friend smirked, "Don't worry, I get it."
"Thank Merlin, you seem to be the only person who does these days."
"You know, the only reason that wildflower meadow if one of my favourites is because it's where I first met Fabian when we were seven. Our mums were friends, or my birth mum was anyway."
Emmy tilted her head in surprise, Marlene didn't bring up the fact she was adopted very often. She glanced at her friend curiously.
"His mum just wanted to see me really, check I was doing all right. They stayed for hours, and we ran round it with my new brothers and Gideon and Molly until it got dark. One of my happiest memories," she smiled softly.
"It sounds beautiful," Emmy murmured in reply.
"And now we can't go two days without fighting," Marlene added gruffly, turning to glare at Fabian a couple of rows behind.
—————
At Quidditch practise that evening, the atmosphere was icy, if not the weather. Emmy and Sirius weren't talking and Gideon was still moping around because Christie hadn't replied to the letter he sent a week ago. Fabian and Marlene refused to even look at each other.
After half an hour, James and Frank were so fed up they called an end to the session and stomped off back to the changing rooms, Gideon in tow, head hung low.
That left the four of them on the pitch, the only sound the howling wind. After a second Marlene scowled and huffed off. Fabian rolled his eyes ran after her, shouting her name.
They could all hear them yelling at each other as soon as he caught up.
Catching Emmy's eye, Sirius took a step forward eager not to waste the opportunity of having her alone.
"Ems-"
"No, Sirius," she warned before whipping round and stalking away.
—————
That Friday night was Halloween and it seemed that even with the current state of affairs between the sixth years, the Weasley twins remained relentless in organising their annual party.
Emmy wandered down with Lily at about half eleven to join the girls. She was wearing a little black dress and a pair of furry cat ears, narrowly fending off Alice with an eyeliner pen attempting to give her some whiskers.
As they descended the staircase, she immediately noticed the ruckus created by the boys in the centre of the room. Sirius was staggering around by the fireplace, bottle of firewhisky swinging in his hands.
He seemed to be recounting a point he'd scored at the Ravenclaw vs Gryffindor quidditch match to the cheers of his friends. He was very obviously drunk, as were the rest of them, falling over each other and animating his story with loud yells.
Emmy rolled her eyes and went to find something to drink before sitting down. It was a quieter party this year, mainly made up of a group of seventh years all snogging the faces of each other, and some fourth and fifth years milling around timidly.
"Well, this is depressing," she sighed, knocking back her firewhisky as she sat next to Marlene on the floor.
They all mumbled in agreement and descended into silence, Alice picking at a plate of Frankenstein cookies.
Abruptly Marlene stood up, "Alright that's it, I've had enough. Damn this!"
They all looked up sheepishly.
"We're the Astrals! We used to rule this place, and everyone would do well to remember it. Alice get the radio, the rest of you grab as much drink as you can, we're going. Right now!"
They all hesitated then Lily stood up, dragging Mary with her, "She's right, you know?"
"Of course I a-"
"Go!" she grinned.
Emmy was the first to move, shrieking with excitement as she raced Dorcas to the crates of firewhisky, giggling as they tumbled over each other, and staggering under the weight of their stash. The others racing behing them through the portrait hole.
The boys were yelling after them, but they didn't stop, speeding through the corridors until they reached the front doors.
By some miracle they didn't bump into any teachers and sped down the hill towards the Black Loch, sliding in the mud, squealing and laughing as Lily turned up the radio as it began playing the Monster Mash. They lit the remains of an old firepit and turned up the music as loud as it could go. Emmy couldn't stop laughing, feeling so utterly free, forgetting all her troubles with as many bottles of firewhisky she dared. They danced into the early hours of the morning, unrestrained and unearthly.
Emmy was the last one on her feet, alcohol still coursing through her system as she twirled around slowly to the sound of The Eagles' Witchy Woman. She cackled to herself and threw her empty bottle on the ground.
Staring out across the loch she sobered up and as the exhaustion took over, dropped to her knees by the edge of the water. All of a sudden it seemed to hit her, the reality of it all. The world seemed to be crumbling in her hands, everything falling around her. She'd lost so much in her life, but it wasn't until now the full impact hit her. She counted her dead and the names repeated on her tongue like a prayer. She fell asleep as the words fell from her lips, murmuring them to the dying fire, tracing the letters into the earth.
———————
well that took a depressing turn...