* * *
My heart stammered as I looked out the window of my living room. Ace pulled up slowly, a little rough but carefully. I raised an eyebrow when he got out of his hummer. Glancing at Trish and Evan, who were now snuggling up on the couch, I walked quietly to the front door and went outside, closing it behind me.
Ace approached me, watching me carefully.
"So you wanted to talk to me in person?" I asked.
He nodded. "No arguments. No fighting or disagreeing. Nothing."
"Oh boy," I sighed and glanced away.
"I want to ask you something," He initiated, looking extremely serious.
"Huh?" I looked up at him. He only stood a few feet away.
"Are you seeing Drew?" He asked me. No detecting of hesitation was present in his voice. My heart rate sped up as I looked at him. I wrinkled my nose and gave him a dumbfounded look. Is he serious? Or is he joking?
"What?" I spat out. It was all I could say in response.
"Just answer the question, Ellie."
"No! Why would I be seeing—"
"I was just asking," His look became sharp and cold, and it gave me instant chills.
"Okay," I nodded, remembering to not argue. "Any other questions?" I said through gritted teeth.
He thought for a moment. "No. Do you have any for me?"
I shook my head. I looked him up and down, skeptical. He was wearing jeans and a black V-neck shirt. He looked so hot today, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Ace and I are long done. As much as it pains me to say that. But even if I can't stand him right now, even if I want to yell, as much as it pains me...
"Look Ace, I'm hoping we can still be friends." I bought up, something fluttering in my heart.
He straightened his back and raised his eyebrows. He just watched me, as if trying to read me. I tried my best to keep my face still and unreadable. But he didn't give up. He eyed me, his lips pressed together. I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Friends." He repeated, still watching me carefully with those intense brown eyes that felt like they were burning holes through mine.
"Yeah," I thought about it for a moment. "Unless, you don't want to be that either? Because..."
"No. I do." He sighed. "I mean, I don't want to be friends. But—"
"Well, sorry for suggesting it." I narrowed my emerald green eyes at him, my heart breaking just a little.
"No. That's not what I meant." He took a deep breath and he glanced at his truck.
I studied him. He pushed his hand in his pocket and drew out his cell phone. He looked at it for a second and turned back to his truck. Then he looked ahead at my house. Then, he glanced down on my walkway. He looked at anywhere but me.
"Okay, well..." I took slow steps back to my door. "I'll...see you later then."
"Um, sure." He finally looked at me again, his eyes reflecting something. He put his phone back in his pocket. Then, he balled up his fists that were at his sides. It was as if he were mentally fighting with himself about something.
"Good bye." I waved gently but still I stayed in place.
"Right." He nodded and cleared his throat, releasing his fists. "Bye."
He turned away from me and started walking to his hummer again. I finally went back inside, and Trish and Evan were standing by one of the windows. They watched me with puzzled face expressions. I cocked an eyebrow, my mouth agape.
"You guys were watching me?" I questioned in disbelief.
"Whoa, whoa. It's not our faults your life has became interesting ever since you started dating that guy," Evan nodded out the window at Ace, who was driving away now. Tricia chewed her lip and watched me.
All I could do was look at them. I felt so stupid. And embarrassed.
I've always teased Evan about Trish and their relationship, when I couldn't even hold my own relationship with Ace together. Even though we're not even together anymore, I still feel as though we are. And it's becoming hard for me. He just accepted us as being friends. Hell, he didn't even want to be that. He even said it.
I turned away from my bother and his girlfriend, going up the stairs.
"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry." I gently chanted to myself, my fists balling up.
I stood in place as soon as I closed my room door behind me. I took a couple of deep breaths and proceeded over to my bed, where I gave up and started crying so much. At this point, I'm desperate for someone, anyone to love me. For anyone to show that they might care. I don't even care who it is anymore.
I just want somebody to love me.
* * *
Later that night, after taking my shower and finding an outfit for school, I tossed and turned in my bed. For some reason I couldn't sleep. There was a small ringing in my ears and it's so real it's like the ringing is coming from right beside me. And maybe it is. I snapped my eyes open and glanced at my phone lighting up in the dark. Who would be calling me at...
I glanced at my digital clock. Who would be calling me at 4 in the morning?
"This better be good." I sat up and reached for my cell phone. I was still half sleep, so I didn't even look at the caller ID. I just answered with a grumpy 'hello'.
"Ellie...?" The voice said my name.
I recognized that voice. "Fallon?"
"I need you right now," She sounded like she was straining. "Please?"
I sat up in bed, alarmed. "Um..." I glanced around me, still half sleep. I blinked consistently until my hands found my sweatpants hanging on the headboard of my bed. "I'll come and get you. But..." I trailed off, squinting my eyes, "Where in the hell are you?"
"I don't know where I am. Please Ellie, I'm so scared." She breathed out a ragged breath and I could hear sniffling on the end of the line. "I don't know what time it is. I don't have any idea on what time it is and I think it's a school night and...and...I'm just so scared."
"Are you at home?" I questioned.
"No!" She shouted at me with impatience dripping from her voice. "I'm drunk and I don't know where the fuck I am and I said I need you and you are nowhere to be found yet!"
"Okay, okay." I started panicking mentally. "I'll come and find you. That's what I'll do."
No response.
"Fallon? Are you there?" I cocked an eyebrow, chewing on my lip. And while doing so, my pulse was speeding by the minute.
"I'm here."
"Fallon, you have a lot of explaining to do."
She just hung up on me, not even responding to my comment. I glanced at my cell phone and pushed it in my bra. I pushed my covers off my body and ran to my closet and threw on a sweater and flip flops. My hair was a mess, but I didn't care. I was picking up Fallon, not going on some date.
I ran down the stairs. My parents aren't here and Evan's in the guest house. I found no problem going into the garage and driving off into night, not knowing where I was going.
I'm just...going to go find Fallon. Wherever she was.
* * *
It was only just until I rounded a stop of a corner store I found Fallon.
She had her knees tucked into her chest, her makeup was running. Her blond hair was down but messy and beautiful at the same time. Her eyes were red from crying so much, I assumed. She was wearing a shirt and a pair of shorts and wedges. I pulled up beside her and rushed out. My first instinct was to pull my sweater off and hand it to her.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" I questioned. "What happened?"
She looked up at me and vulnerability shined right in her eyes. She sniffed and chewed on her lip, then started breaking into a hysteria of sadness and tears.
"I was with Heath and..." She trailed off. She just stared straight ahead, at nothing.
"Put on the sweater," I demanded softly, "It's cold at night, and it's nearly five in the morning. What are you doing out here? We have school in just a few hours and—"
"Ellie, please." She sighed and rested her head on her knees after putting it on.
I just looked at her. I studied her quietly. Instead of yelling at her, I thought to just be a friend to her. Talk to her if needed. I approached her slowly and sat down on the pavement beside her. The sky was just the faintest of blue. The sun will be rising soon.
"What happened?"
"I can't tell you." She glanced away.
"You can tell me anything. I'm your best friend, Fallon." I tried to search for an answer through her eyes. But nothing. "Just tell me the story. Then I'll take you to my house, get you cleaned up, and try to make you feel better. I'm sure your parents wouldn't want to see you like this."
She slowly looked at me. "You'd try and cover this all up? For me?"
"I'd do it in a heart beat." I smiled.
She took a couple of deep breaths. "I want to go to your house first. Take a shower, rest a little. Then I'll tell you the story."
"That's okay with me," I allowed, knowing that we might just miss school today. Nevertheless, I stood up and held my hand out towards her. She reluctantly took it, and we both walked to my car to get away from the horrid scenery.
* * *
I tossed Fallon a pear of sweatpants and a t-shirt as she dabbed her face with a towel from showering. She had a huge towel wrapped around her, and her hair was wet and dripping all over my bed. I didn't care though. At first, I let her rest so she could sleep off the headache, turning off her cell phone for no disturbances in the process. Then, she asked me if she could use my shower. Her makeup was completely off, but somehow she looked more beautiful and natural. And innocent. And not so crazy.
It was in the afternoon, and I knew we would miss school just for today.
"Okay," She continued dabbing at her eyes, "I was at Heath's house. I was spending the night and..."
"Who's Heath?" I instantly questioned.
"An old friend." Her face gave away nothing when said the supposed guy's name. "Anyway, he invited me there and I just wanted to be away for a couple of hours. He encouraged me because you know, it's what he does. No biggie, right?"
I listened carefully.
"So then," She continued, "The more I drunk, the better I started to feel. I knew it was only bad because I started to become a little more daring and unaware of the consequences of well, anything. So the next thing I know, he starts taking me up to his room and..." She trailed off, her lips trembling.
I stared at her, knowing where this was headed.
"We were only a few minutes into it until I realized that I was cheating on Drew. I put my things back on and I ran out of his house, completely drunk and unstable. I feel so dirty! I was a mess and it was like, I didn't even know myself anymore."
My heart fell at her story. She started sobbing, her voice shaking as she talked.
"Even if Drew and I aren't together, even if we're apart, I still feel like it's wrong, you know?" She asked. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still love him. With all of my heart and being and soul and mind. I still love the guy and it's killing me."
I scooted beside her to pat her on the back, nodding my head when needed.
"I love him, but I know we can't be together because it's for the best. But..." She trailed off again, "I need him sometimes. No, all the time. And before I called you to come and get me, I wanted to call him but I was pissed at him at the same time. I would've only cussed him out and cried over the phone. I would accuse him of just breaking my heart when I know it was my idea to break up in the first place."
"Fallon, you should talk to him." I only realized that that would be pointless. It already seems like Drew decided that Fallon was unhealthy for him. It's even worse when you really think about it because while he finally realized it, she finally realizes that she needs him dearly. It's all messed up and confusing.
I felt like I was right in the middle of the whole dilemma.
"I can't. He hates me. I just know it." She mumbled. After a minute, she sighs and just turns over on my bed, facing away from me. "Anyway, all I want to do is just sleep now. Forget about everything for just a minute."
"Completely. You need it. Go ahead," I allowed.
"Thank you so much Ellie. You're a real friend." She said. "Can you not mention this to anybody?"
"Of course." I told her sincerely.
"Thanks. And Ellie?" She said.
"Yeah?" I brushed away some lint off my sweatpants.
"I'm really hungry. Could you maybe...fix me something to eat? I haven't ate since I left my house to go to Heath's last night."
"Yeah. Pancakes with extra syrup?" I raised an eyebrow, a soft grin on my face.
Okay, so maybe that was my comfort food. Not anyone else's.
"How about just...whole wheat cereal?"
"Uh, sure...?" I watched the back of her for a few seconds, until I finally walked out of the room and went downstairs to fix the cereal.
* * *
Ace's POV
"I wanted to tell her how I feel." I told Drew as we sat at the lunch table. "I wanted to tell her so bad that 'no, I don't want to be just friends with you. I want to be with you'. But she wouldn't take me seriously anyway."
"Why would she?" Drew mumbled, using a fork to mess with his slice of pizza. I read his face expression, and it was sort of dark and empty. I don't know if it was because I kept rambling on about Ellie to him, or if Fallon wasn't here today for some reason and he claims she wasn't picking up her phone.
"What do you mean?" Curiosity got the better of me.
"Ellie is sick of the same bull shit you have to offer her all the time." He tells me. "Maybe you should just, you know? Give it a rest. Just accept that you two will only be just friends and are probably better off as that."
"What the hell?" I snorted. "Okay, so who pissed you off today?"
"Nobody." He muttered, glancing down at his tray.
"I still love her. I still care," I insisted, "And at least I'm trying to fix this. You're not trying to do anything with your relationship with Fallon."
"What relationship? I have no relationship with her."
"You don't because you keep running away from how you feel. You're not over her, no matter how many times you say it." I told him with accusing eyes. Drew just stared at me. "Just tell her how you feel."
"No!" He snapped at me. I didn't dare move an inch though. I just narrowed my eyes at him. "Who in the world would ever guess that you, of all people, would be giving me advice? I don't need advice from you, alright?"
"I was just trying—"
"I don't care. I'm over Fallon. No one else knows what I feel. You don't have a clue." He got up from the table and grabbed his bag.
"So you're just going to walk away from me?" I asked in disbelief.
"I guess I am." He looked at me, as if he wanted to say more. And he did. "Look, Fallon's better off without me and I'm better off without her. And you should just quit trying to get Ellie back. She sounds like she's better off, too."
I just stared at him, not believing what I was hearing. The one guy, my best friend, the one who always encouraged me to fight for her, is now telling me that I should just back off. Where in the fuck did this all come from?
He didn't waste another second looking at me. He just walked off. Like that. I glanced at all my other non-important friends I was sitting with, and I rolled my eyes and started thinking about possible reasons for Drew.
Like the fact that he's telling me to back away from Ellie. And that he's giving up on Fallon.
I'll find out eventually, but until then, he's left me confused. And pissed off for even suggesting horrible advice because, as much as I hate to admit it, it is completely impossible to just back away from her.
The girl that I'm crazy about. The girl that I love.
* * *
Ace is falling in love! How cute and awesome. What's up with Drew though?
:S
Sorry for such a late update. I've been battling against all this school work and have no free time. And to top it off, my laptop's been taken away from me. since the beginning of October. So I'm really fighting to find Internet access and post on a regular basis for you guys. Again, my apologies. I hope that was good enough! I promise it won't take that long anymore though.
:D