ALESTEIR DELGADO
5 years ago...
Inilagay ko ang lavender scented bath-bomb para ma-relax si Mira. This night feels heavenly because she's with me kahit na may ibang dahilan siya para lapitan ako. When I see the tears on her eyes, gusto kong sapakin ang sarili ko.
I want to give her what she wants. I don't want to see her so helpless. Pero pinigilan ko ang aking sarili dahil may masisira ko ang plano.
She gave me a chance to do this to her and I let it happen. I'm an as-hole. Hindi ito kasama sa plano ko pero nanghihina ako kapag nasa harap ko siya.
Lumabas ako ng bathroom just to find an empty bed. Wala na si Mira. Kung hindi lang sa gusot ng kama ay iisipin ko na panaginip lang ang nangyari.
Inabot ko ang unan na ginamit niya at naamoy ko ang scent ng shampoo nito. It feels so f-cking calming. Her scent is all over my room and this is enough to turn me on again.
Hindi ako mahimbing matulog at may instances din na kailangan ko uminom ng pills para lang makatatulog. Ngunit nang maramdaman ko ang init ni Mira ay nakapagpahinga ako. It's the first time that I feel home again.
I feel so addicted and obsessed with her. But I know that I will only hurting her.
I have to let her go. For now.
When the Judge reads the verdict, I couldn't look at her.
My shoulder feels heavy. My heart feels like it's going to burst. Seeing the tears on her eyes and the way she looked at me— I betrayed her.
"Alesteir, naglalasing ka na naman," sita sa akin ni Yuan nang pumasok ito sa loob ng unit ko.
"Nakita mo ba kung paano ako tingnan ni Mira?" mapait akong napangiti nang bumalik na naman iyon sa memorya ko.
Inagaw ni Yuan ang baso sa aking kamay at binaba iyon sa mesa. "Don't beat yourself up. Alam mo kung bakit natin ito ginagawa."
Naihilamos ko ang palad sa aking mukha, "I don't want to do this anymore."
Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga ni Yuan.
"If you stop, hindi ka rin matatahimik. You'll put her in danger, Alesteir."
"I know! F-ck!"
Not long after, I found out that someone is paying prisoners to bully her father. Si Yuan ang siyang naghahatid sa akin ng balita dahil parte iyon ng plano namin. Kung sino man ang totoong kalaban namin ay tiyak na ita-target nila si Mira kapag hindi ko pinutol ang kaugnayan sa kanya.
I asked some trusted jail officials to transfer Rafael (Mira's father) to facility in Bulacan. Nagtanim ako ng espiya sa loob upang manmanan ang kilos nito. Binabayaran ko si Marvin upang protektahan si Rafael.
I am secretly manipulating the people around Mira to take care of her— the thing I failed to do.
Hangga't wala akong ideya sa kung sino ang mastermind ay didistansya ko. Iyon lang ang magagawa ko sa ngayon para protektahan siya.
Nakarating sa akin na naghahanap si Mira ng online jobs. Siguro ay napagod na ito na maging cashier sa restaurant. I called my friend to employ her as a virtual assistance. And if he cannot grant her an eighty thousand pesos salary, I will give it to her.
But then, I found out why Mira wanted to switch job— she was pregnant.
That moment, I almost go crazy. Kinailangan akong ikulong ni Yuan sa isang silid dahil gusto ko ng tumakbo papunta kay Mira at balikan ito. That's my kid. That is mine.
Kung nalaman ko lang na buntis siya noong huli kami nag-usap ay itatapon ko ang lahat para lang makasama siya. Gagawin ko ang lahat para lang maprotektahan siya. I will spend all my money to be with her.
"I have to leave."
Humarang si Yuan sa pintuan. "No."
Hinawakan ko ang damit nito at hinatak. I am a bit taller than him, so he is looking up to me. Matalim ang tingin namin sa isa't-isa.
"Know you f'cking place, Yuan."
"Sure. Leave, Alesteir. Get her back. And then when the killers come again, you'll be watching her ashes go along the wind."
"F-ck!" sigaw ko at patulak ito na binitiwan. "F'ck you!"
At the moment, Astrah overheard our discussion. I didn't know that she'll go directly to Mira to talk to her. When Yuan informed me about the conversation between Mira and Astrah, I was deeply appalled.
How can she say that to her? Hindi ko sinabi kay Astrah na laitin niya si Mira. She was her only bestfriend, for f-ck's sake!
But what is done is done. I can no longer take it back.
Three years later, I asked my friend Aquil to approve the scholarship of Krome and help them. In return, I will sponsor his campaign and I will make sure that he will win the election. But the motherf'cker fell in love with Mira and stopped giving information to me.
He went rogue.
He woed Mira and she fell for him, but everything did not go well. Luck is still on my side.
These are the only thing I can do for now. Hindi ko pa sila maaaring harapin. Sa ngayon, I will pull every string I have to make their life comfortable and protected.
Napatingin ako kay Yuan nang pumasok ito sa opisina ko, "Alesteir, we found a lead."
"What is his name?"
"Congressman Alvin was with your father seven days before the murder. Sinabihan siya si Tito na mag-meet sila sa ilalim ng tulay. Walang CCTV sa dinaanan nila," nilapag nito ang isang litrato sa aking mesa. Matandang lalaki iyon. "Ito si Mang Lando. Naparaan siya sa area na iyon para ilibing ang aso niya. Nagtago raw siya sa talahib para hindi siya makita. May mga litrato siya ngunit de-keypad pa ang cellphone niya kaya hindi iyon HD. He mentioned that Congressman Alvin was selling illegal firearms to the rebels and he wanted your father's help."
"Nasaan na si Mang Lando ngayon?"
"Nasa ospital siya dahil sa cancer. Stage 2. Pumayag siya na maging witness kapalit ng pagbabayad natin sa bill ng ospital. We also found another witness— Congressman's former maid will testify and agreed to be a key witness."
"Put her in the WPP. Noone must know about this."
Tumayo ako at hinubad ang coat at ang inner shirt. Sinuot ko muna nag bulletproof vest bago isuot muli ang inner shirt at suit.
"Arrange a room. I want to meet them."
I am very close to end this. Kating-kati na ako na matapos ito upang makasama ko na ang pamilya ko.
As I watch Donovon Nathan grow up in stolen images and social media photos, my desire of being present is growing bigger and bigger. My desire to be with them and drown them with my love.
I hope Mira still loves me. I hope I could win her back. I was doing this for all of us.
I thought, God must have heard my prayers and Krome's application stumbled on my desk. I accepted to be Krome's benefactor. This is the right time.
I made my presence known.
Kinausap ko na si Mira na magsasama kami. At alam kong ginawa lang niya iyon dahil sa pangba-blackmail ko sa kanya. Talagang pangit na ang naging reputasyon ko sa buhay niya.
Nais kong mag-celebrate kaya tumungo ako sa bar na lagi kong tinatambayan at nag-order ng scotch whisky. Hindi ko maiwasan na mapangiti kapag ini-imagine na magkasama na kami ni Mira.
"Hello, Alesteir."
"Agatha," malamig kong saad.
Pumaikot ang braso nito sa aking bewang. "You've been busy. Ilang buwan kita hindi nakita."
Matalim ko siyang tiningnan. "Hands off, Agatha."
"Oh, come on. Just one night, Alesteir. Ilang taon ka na bang single? Do you still like women?"
"Go to Yuan. He'll be happy to see you."
"Yuan is not here."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Where is he?"
"You haven't heard? Astrah came back yesterday. That big dog is all over her. Again." Inilapit nito ang labi sa aking tenga, "So, please, amuse me."
"No."
"Are you seriously rejecting me?"
"Yes."
"Sino ba ang babae na hindi mo makalimutan at mas pinipili mo pa ang kanang kamay mo para magparaos?"
Naglabas ako ng pera at nilapag iyon sa ibabaw ng mesa. Pagkatapos ay tumayo na upang umalis. No woman came to my life after Mirabella. She is the right person in a wrong situation.
Habang naglalakad papunta sa sasakyan ko ay tinawagan ko si Astrah. If she's here, she has to go to Mira and apologize for what she has done.
"Hey," si Yuan ang sumagot.
"Yuan, you know that this is Astrah phone, right? Where is she? I want to talk to her."
"She's beneath me. Here, try to talk to her."
"Yuan! What are you—"
"Talk, my love," I felt so disgusted with Yuan's endearing tone to Astrah.
"No— H-hello... Alesteir..."
"I decided to live with Mirabella."
"What?!" Nang sabihin iyon ni Astrah ay nakarinig ako ng kalabog.
"Fvck! Why did you kick me?!"
"Are you serious, Alesteir?!"
"Yes. Pumayag na si Mira."
"We did everything we can for her to hate us, you idiot! Come on, ilalagay mo sila ulit sa kapahamakan dahil lang papasok ka ulit sa buhay nila. Hindi pa natin nahuhuli ang totoong pumatay sa magulang mo."
"No, I want to claim my place beside her. Aquil was making his move on her again."
"Hindi ba at nagkaroon na kayo ng agreement? Na kapag nag-sponsor ka sa campaign niya ay hihiwalayan niya si Mira?"
"Yes! But that asshole is—"
"Yuan! Wait!"
"This conversation is too long, Alesteir! You're spoiling our night, motherfvcker!"
"Sa susunod nalang tayo ulit mag-usap, Alesteir."
"You are both animals!" pagtaas ko ng boses.
"Naiinggit ka lang. Go home and have a night with your right hand just like you always do after your Mira left," those are Yuan's last world before he cut the line.
Napasimangot ako. It's okay to do it with my hand than cheat, fool!
***********
A/N: Hellow, next UD po ay sa weekend na. Thank you po sa pagbabasa.
-Sweetkitkat