Days passed, and though we were at peace with our decision, we were still, much to our dismay, at a distance from our wider family. Unable to face the potential disappointment, we had remained in the comfort of our own home, occasionally speaking to our siblings and parents over the phone. When they asked why we weren't joining for family get-togethers, we put it down to being extremely busy with work –which wasn't a lie, as intentionally or not, Ehsaan now seemed busier than ever at the office.
I was sat in the living room, reciting some quran after praying Zohr salah and waiting for Ehsaan to get home. I'd been out for a much needed brunch with Saffa and Rima today to discuss the upcoming wedding plans and she had immediately recognised that something was up. But I brushed it off, not wanting to delve back into the details of it –because knowing my best friend, she would not let it go.
When I finally heard the key turning in the lock, I was glad he was home and that we could finally spend some time together, but when I saw the look on his face, my heart dropped and I knew instantly that something was wrong.
"Assalamualaikum" I greeted him, but to no avail.
"Waalaikumsalaam. I need to talk to you" he said, irritably pulling off his shoes and coat and dropping his keys on the entrance table before following me into the living room.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I was at the office after being in international partner meetings all morning and coaching some of the associates, when I got a call. My secretary said it was a client, so I of course went out of my way to take out the time and speak to him. Turns out, it was that BAS*** Yaseen! You know what he wanted? He wanted me to take on his divorce case!"
"What?!" I was shocked – what on Earth is going on?. "Hang on, Ehsaan, calm down"
"I can't calm down. He calls me telling me that I refused to help his daughter and so it's now my 'duty' to handle his case!"
"That's ridiculous!"
"Exactly!" he sighed, his hands in the air. "Hedoesn't care about us, Aleena. He doesn't care! And now that he needs something, its okay for him to just expect that we'll kneel down to his every desire like Amma has all her life just because of a family favour! I won't do it!"
He grabbed his jacket and threw it on.
"Where are you going now?" I asked him, worriedly.
"To Amma's. Let's go"
He grabbed the keys and I quickly got my phone and threw on an abaya. We drove there in silence as I was slightly nervous of the intense new side of Ehsaan that this whole episode had unveiled.
We walked in, and everybody was sat around in the large open plan space - laughing and talking, but falling silent upon our arrival as they sensed the rage enshrouding my husband.
Seeing them all, he huffed.
"They don't know, do they?" he said to Maa, pointing at his sisters, brother-in-law and father. She coiled, tensed up and looking down somewhat ashamedly as she realised what was about to unfold in front of her.
"Know what?" Aaminah responded, standing up and coming over.
"Are you going to bother telling them, or shall I?" He directed at his mother, his voice rising.
"Ehsaan please! Not now!" she whispered.
"No! Don't you try and hide this from them. I'll tell you all what's going on, and then I want you all to decide, honestly, who's side you're on." Everyone exchanged worried glances with each other, and Umar bhai came and stood by Ehsaan as Papa tried to decipher the situation.
"You all know Amma's beloved cousin Yaseen, who cares about us...how much? Someone enlighten me, because I don't recall him ever being here for any of us, no matter what we've been through." Papa was listening intently. "Anyway, Amma here and him decided it would be a good idea to pass on his newborn child to us, merely a few months after the passing of our own infant daughter, because he isn't capable of treating his wife well. It's disgusting – how could she possibly have even bared to listen to him asking if my wife, the woman who means more to me than anything in this world, my everything, could breastfeed HIS child?!"
"What?! Maryam is this true?" Papa asked, his voice furious, disappointed and upset all in one go.
"It wasn't like that!" Amma tried to argue.
"Oh quit the victim card and stop trying to defend yourself!" Ehsaan shouted.
"That's enough!" Papa bellowed, "Yasmine, Noura, go upstairs please"
"But we-"
"No buts." he said firmly.
They stood up and both gave me quick hugs before going upstairs reluctantly, not wanting to be left out of the loop on what was going on in their house.
"Aleena beti, come over here" Papa ushered me over and made me sit beside where he stood. "Silence, all of you!" he said, momentarily stopping the commotion before continuing, "I want to know exactly what is going on here, right now!"
As Ehsaan retold the story of what had happened since Amma had called us over that day, finally unleashing the storm that roared inside of him, a wave of disgust had passed through the room. Aaminah was furious when she learned about what they wanted from us, including the baby, the feeding and everything that came with it. To say we had their support was an understatement –every single person in that room was outraged.
But it only got worse, as when it was Amma's turn to speak, she accidentally let slip that she'd liaised with this Uncle Yaseen yet again since we had refused to take in his baby, and it was now getting clearer that Yaseen approaching my Husband for legal advice was not a coincidence.
"Hang on Maryam, are you saying you pointed him in the direction of Ehsaan for the divorce battle?" Papa was intent on getting to the bottom of this, and he was more angry than I'd ever perceived he could be.
"I'm saying that I had no choice –I was being backed into a corner, with his entire family breathing down my neck until I agreed to help!"
"Wait a second," Aaminah piped up, "Why are they so adamant that you help them?"
At that question, Ehsaan and I looked up, curious to find out the answer.
"Because I owe them"
"Owe them how?" Ehsaan demanded.
"When I was born my mother was sick, too sick to feed me. At the time, culture deemed it unacceptable to formula feed a child, so I needed a milk mother instead –my family have always been very traditional, you all know that. Yaseen's mother, my Aunty had given birth to Yaseen's brother a few weeks prior to that, so she volunteered to feed me. She was my milk mother for around 4 days, and nobody has ever let me forget that since. Of course she has treated me like her own daughter, but we grew distant when my family left Ireland. And after she passed away, Yaseen and his brother have always relied on me! For everything!"
This is just getting from bad, to worse.
I did, no doubt, feel sorry for her, but what she was now proposing was worse.
"Listen to me. I love my religion. I also love my culture –however much I may have moulded it to fuse with the western world. But when it comes down to it, Islam rules over culture any day! And this, is just purely wrong!" Ehsaan said loudly."What you were suggesting is worse than what happened when you were young, but instead of sticking up for us, you entertained the idea of us taking her on. That encouraged them, motivated them to make it work. And now what? He has mixed personal with professional. He's brought the case to the firm and requested I be the leading barrister on the case. And I refuse, point blank, to let him get away with it."
"Ehsaan if you'll just help get what he wants-"
"No!"
"That's enough!" Papa shouted yet again. "Ehsaan, you are not taking the case. Make sure it's known that there is a personal affiliation and therefore a conflict of interest. Maryam, you and I are going to speak to Yaseen together, and explain where we are coming from. Aaminah and Umar, I want you to go to Dadi's house, I won't be able to go tonight, there are pressing matters at hand. Aleena beti, calm yourself, InshaAllah this will all be over soon. I am in full support of you and my son. Don't worry about it, alright?"
I nodded my head, battling the recurring thoughts that spiralled like a tornado in my mind. I was grateful for the support system that we had around us in our hour of need, but I was also feeling extremely guilty that Amma had now been isolated from us and was being attacked from all sides by our thoughts alone.
I knew she was wrong, but somewhere deep inside my heart, I knew that I would never want to be in this position with my own children –and made a vow to myself, in that moment, that I would persuade Ehsaan to forgive her, like I knew he would, as the kind and loving man that stole my heart from the very beginning.
"And hold firmly to the rope of Allah and do not be divided."
Quran 3:103
Soo, what do you think?
Apologies for Ehsaan's bad language slip up haha - don't come at me! Nobody is perfect!!
Hope you all enjoyed,
lots of love,
birdwithapen x