"What? What's wrong?"
"Wrong?" Damian asks, he doesn't know. Something's wrong? It's impossible, it has to be something else.
"Either something is wrong and you're calling for help or advice, or you're sick and called to say you miss me."
"That happened ONCE! Why do you bring it up every time!"
"Because it was sweet, Dami."
"Whatever, I need a prognosis." Jon knows how this will work, Damian will describe his emotions and Jon'll tell him how to 'healthily' deal with them.
"What do you feel?"
"My symptoms are difficult to explain."
"Alright. Can you give me something to work with? I'm at lunch so I can't stay on the line forever. Is it a person?"
"Yes, Marinette."
"Okay... did she do something to annoy, embarrass, anger, or tease you. If so, list which." Jon plays into the symptom thing, staying formal. It helps Damian stop himself from shutting down and to pay attention to what he's feeling.
"No, none of those are right."
"Dude, I need something to go on. Was it because of an interaction? Something she did?"
"No."
"Were you over-thinking?"
"No, I-" Damian puts some thought into his words, "-we came across her old school friends, they hate her. I already knew that though. There was this blond boy, he was obvious about his affection towards her, it was pathetic. We're in our rooms now. I ended up thinking about the interaction." That was the most basic description Damian's scattered mind could conceive but Damian assumes Jon will get the idea.
"Finally, okay, okay. Did Marinette like him back?"
"No, she was uncomfortable. I had to intervene before it got out of hand."
"What did he do?"
"he grabbed her, didn't let go."
"You what? Didn't like when he grabbed her? Not like in a common decency kinda way, in a different way. If that makes sense.
Damian's lack of a know was a yes.
"Alright, that's good Damian. Now, back at your hotel room, what were you thinking about?"
"Her."
"What kind of thoughts? Do you hate her?"
"No. Opposite." He could almost hear Jon roll his eyes.
"Love isn't the opposite of hate." Damian sputters, his face burning, his stomach drops. What is happening to him? He has to be sick, that has to be it. He was sick and delirious.
"What? I didn't say that!"
"Yeah, you did. You said the opposite, and if you were indifferent about her you wouldn't call."
"No, I didn't!" He exclaims, defending himself while trying to not get angry.
"Damian."
"What?"
"What were you thinking about?"
"Her."
"More. C'mon, say it out loud." Damian's feet are welded to the ground, his face must look like Marinette's, at a complete loss. This is impossible.
"Damian, if that's not it you should be fine with saying it."
"How the blond grabbed her, for a moment."
"And then? If you want me to help you, just spit it out."
"How stupid boys would see her as perfect, that she's actually annoying and-" Damian pinches the bridge of his nose, he can't say it, but he has to. "-the way her nose does this little scrunch when she doesn't like something, how my classmates are idiots," He lists everything he had thought about quickly, trying to get it over with. "-I like her laugh, she's strong despite everything, that Agreste was weak and pathetic, her annoying- pretty smile and her rosy cheeks, when she focuses she sticks her tongue out, her eyes and the way they do this sparkle thing and-"
"Woah, okay, buddy. You can stop now. So, what do you think it is?" It's always bad when Jon tries to get Damian to figure it out for himself.
"That's why I called you!"
"Damian, what do you think it is? Either you say it or you're stupid." Damn his eighth grade mind, so wholesome and optimistic. Jon has no reason to think Damian is equipped enough to sort out his own feelings.
"That I respect her?" Jon groaned in annoyance. "Fine, I admire her."
"Damian, do you really have it so bad that you can't even say it?"
"I do not like her!"
"I'm sorry, what was that about her eyes? The way they sparkle?" Damian rubs the back of his neck, had he really said that? His mind feels like it's going a million miles a minute.
"It has to be something else, Kent."
"Why?"
"Because, that would mean I think of her romantically. I don't do romantic." Jon sighs.
"Okay, there is something else. Is she the first person you see when you walk into a room?"
"Who thinks like that?"
"You're impossible. Uh, do you feel protective of her when another guy approaches her with the intention of asking her out or becoming close with her?" Damian doesn't think about precedence, focusing on more recent attempts by Gotham Academy students at asking Marinette out.
"Yes."
"Is her company bearable?"
"Yes... now."
"Fun, even?"
"Yes, get on with it!" Damian was getting annoyed, he just needed to know what was going on so he could deal with it.
"You obviously think she's attractive... on a scale of one to ten how much do you hate her thinking back on all those pranks?"
Damian thinks back to the glitter and paint being flung at his face, the memory of her laughter, the side smile as she looks back to see if he was still behind her.
The smell of catnip, the strays converging on him. He'd returned to the school while his family was out on patrol that night, dropped the sick or pregnant ones off at vets he knew would care for them. They didn't need much, apparently they'd been fed certain over the counter medications.
"One."
"Does she still hate you?" The thought of the snow falling, her button nose still pink from the cold even after putting in so many hours at the warm soup kitchen. The light in Marinette's eyes snuffed out by his rudeness. The look she gave him earlier today, sad, grateful, kind. Despite how awful he had been to her, the warmth returned. And like a moth to a flame, Damian is enamored by the bright glow.
"No."
"Have you two been more civil, maybe friendly lately?"
"Yes."
"Okay, I'd like to suggest a course of action before giving you your diagnosis. Build on that friendship a little, and before you get too friendly- ask her out."
"WHAT?"
"You're head over heels for her, deal with it."
"What do you mean? I can't!"
"Why not?"
"She'd never return the sentiment. Marinette has been approached by far more social and likeable people and rejected them, she isn't interested in dating."
"Or... and hear me out, she hasn't been asked out by the person she wants to be yet. You said she table hops, right? Who's the one person she's interacted with most, ever since she started at GA?"
"Me."
"Who helped you with your essay thing at a party of all places?"
"Marinette."
"Now I want you to say it." He grits his teeth before obeying.
"I like Marinette."
"Good job, Dami, I'm proud of you. Getting a crush on a girl, and a cool one at that!" Damian grumbled.
"What do I do now?"
"Be nicer, don't antagonize her. Make conversation. Don't tell her you like her right off the bat, earn her attention."
"That hasn't worked very well for anyone else so far."
"Well guess what?"
"What?"
"They aren't you. Gotta go, later, Wayne."
"Goodbye, Kent, you're wrong. I'll prove it. There's no way I like her."
"I'm just doing my job, good luck. Later!"
"Bye." Damian ended the call and sat on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands. This shouldn't have been such a surprise, he had to stop himself from coming to the same conclusion not too long ago.
Someone knocked on his door, it was Mr. Bernard.
"It's time for dinner." Damian silently followed, the rest of the group was already there. People are quick to move past the ordeal, Marinette smiling along with them as they talk about everything and nothing. Worthless dribble.
"Alright, we're going to eat. Don't worry about packing yet. We'll have time tomorrow." Diner was an ordeal he was not prepared for. Marinette sat across from him, not really speaking with anyone. His thoughts were a jumbled mess, trying to come up with something, anything to talk about. She was probably overthinking again. He tapped her leg, snapping her out of it. They just looked at each other, both mentally adrift until Marinette spoke up.
"How are the drawings going?" She asks in a very low voice, no one noticed while they laughed at something Lambert was ranting about.
"Good."
"If I ever got my hands on them, I'd plaster them everywhere." She comments offhandedly, as if she was seeing it now.
"Definitely not."
"I could see it now, well, that's assuming they're outrageously awful or something."
"They aren't."
"That's too bad, I'll have to see for myself one day."
"One day." The conversation ended there, he wasn't going to push it. Damian watched Marinette hardly eat, he nudged her foot again, taking a bite of his own meal. She obliged in his unspoken request.
Dinner ended uneventfully, Damian returned to his room. Grabbing his pajamas, getting ready to shower, he receives a phone call.
"A?"
"You need to rendezvous with LB at the Grand Paris Hotel and meet us back in Gotham, we got her temporary clearance for the zeta. You need to be there five minutes ago, she's about to get the message on her phone, we're sending an emergency alarm to her now." It was Drake, he sounded out of breath.
"What do you mean? Do you have her phone number?"
"No, we gave her one for the trip. She figured out how to disable the GPS though."
"How'd she do that?" Damian rustled through his drawer for his Batbox with his Robin costume.
"Dunno, we didn't think she'd try. It was a basic phone with a secure connection to the Batcave. She could have looked up a video and used a pen to take out the Wi-Fi antenna. Would have been simple enough. Are you almost there?"
"I'm almost dressed... on my way."
"Wait for her, Riddler hired what looks like every mercenary he could get his hands on. Stormed main. Motive is unclear but it looks like a free for all to distract us so he can deal with B alone."
"I'll fill her in." Robin opened his balcony door and walked out into the cool Parisian night, closing it behind him. He firmly holds onto his grappling hook as it fires, and then he's off.
The cold air bites at Damian's cheeks but he was used to it, the city was bright even though the sun had set well over an hour ago. It was easy to find the hotel he had to meet Ladybird at, it was one of their options for the trip.
The building was overdone and tacky, high end in one thing but this was obnoxious. He landed not a moment too soon, Ladybird arriving not too long after him.
"What happened?"
"Riddler. Paid a bunch of thugs to hit main to distract the rest of us so he could have the Batman for himself. The plan is to wrangle up the men while Nightwing and Spoiler go with B, they're best at annoying the Riddler." Ladybird nodded, pulling out a pair of glasses.
"We have t-" Robin was about to bring up the zeta tubes when he noticed the little floating horse that came out with it.
"We don't have time to use whatever super plane you have ready. Just don't yell. Kalkki, full gallop!" Robin took a step back, a blinding light appeared and when it faded a slightly different looking Ladybird emerged. DESCRIBE SLIGHTLY DIFF LOOK
"Kalkki, voyage!" A portal big enough to walk through appeared, Robin could see the Batcave on the other side. Ladybird grabbed his wrist and dragged him through. The chair at the Batcave was spinning, as if someone had run out of it in a hurry. Agent A, Alfred, must have been looking over the situation.
"Let's go." Robin tore his arm from the Parisian's grip as another bright light came from the girl and she was back to normal. The little horse, a kwamii, Damian reminded himself, and the glasses went into Ladybird's yo-yo.
Getting onto his bike, Ladybird quickly joins him, revving the engine before taking off. They flew through the underground road system, quickly making their way towards main street.
It was chaos, people breaking shop windows as alarms blared. Some wore masks, others didn't seem to care. Ladybug and Robin figuratively rolled their sleeves up and joined the rest of the Batman's team trying to rustle up the criminals.
Dodging left and right, Robin knocked his opponents out en masse. Most weren't very skilled, others had weapons. It was more like a boring cycle of disarm, knockout, repeat.
By the end of the fight main street was a mess, Robin hadn't even noticed Ladybird shouting something until a weird glowing light whirls around.
Everyone looks around for the source only for the magic to suddenly disappear.
"Hehe... Oops?"