...
Kensi would always look at baby magazines, look online and have deep thoughts about her future with Deeks, and if a baby would actually be possible.
One morning, Deeks found a baby magazine in her bag at work, and questioned about it...
D: "is... there something you wanna tell me?"
K: *sipping tea and smiling* "no, I just... saw it and I decided to buy it"
D: "oh.."
K: *stops smiling and puts her head down*
D: "damn cute baby, and I get that it's a natural instinct... and that as the relationship progresses we-.."
K: *cutting him off* "right, and you have your little- *pauses* .... brother programme"
D: "oh- the... the foster programme... yeah- yeah I definitely- I - *stuttering* you could do that too-.."
Kensi's eyes widen a little as she doesn't know how to express her feelings, as Deeks is rambling about foster care.
K: "....right"
Eric is standing at the top of the stairs and calls the pair to ops, as there was a new case on deck.
Both partners continued their life on as normal, putting their life at risk each day, but knowing that one day the impossible would become possible.
However, after a few years, it became clear to Deeks that Kensi couldn't have children. Kensi has previously barely hinted to Deeks beforehand that she couldn't have children, but Deeks didn't think anything of it and Kensi didn't want to break his heart, as she knew he was the love of her life. She explained to Deeks during an argument on a mission to save a child, whilst questioning their jobs, sometimes many things don't happen for people the way they want them to - this lead Deeks to question Kensi whether she can't have kids or she just doesn't want them.
D: *tearing up* "what about- what about when- when we are h-having kids!?"
K: "I would do this if we had kids!"
D: "Okay Great! Thats it then! Right? I just knock you up, i can do that!"
At this point Kensi is in tears, as she doesn't want to break Deeks down and say to him there and then, as it probably wasn't the right time.
K: "what if we don't have kids..?..."
D: *shocked* "W- what do you- what do you mean what if we don't have kids? Like as in we can't have them or you don't want them!?"
Kensi is quick to reply, by saying that she doesn't know and she won't compromise who she is, that's she can't give him what he wants as she knows exactly what- a family.
This has set a rough patch for the couple, however they continued to live in high hopes. At this point, Kensi and Deeks had been trying for a baby for almost two years. Kensi knew that she was unable to have children, but she didn't want to crush Deeks's dreams as she knew that's what he'd wanted, as he wasn't treated right by his own dad as a child himself. He always wanted to have children, so that he could raise them the best he could, as he didn't want his own children going down the same path he did.
But then...
Just as they thought they couldn't do anything about it and that they'd lost all hope...
Deeks had lost his job, they had half the income, they were about to lose their house.... so, they tried going down the infertility road... to try to get pregnant! Although Deeks mentions to Kensi that it may be the most expensive option, both of them knew that it would be their one and only chance for a life together.
Thankfully, things were going to plan, Kensi was able to find out that she could have children this way at the infertility clinic. Her and Deeks would go for check ups every now and then to make sure everything was going in the right direction.
Just as everything went well, things took a deep turn as Kensi was revisited by an old friend of the past.. David Kessler.