The snow melted in the weeks that followed and I can't say I was sad to see it go. The snow was probably my favorite and most hated thing at the same time. The contrast between the white snow that I had been seeing for weeks and the fresh green grass and bright hues of flowers and birds that now littered everywhere was a sight to behold. Classes were still going on and I was still going through the motions of school and work with one notable difference - Danny.
Right after the day we kissed, Danny got a call and left in a hurry. A few days later he was granted a two-month leave of absence from his studies due to a 'personal emergency'. I never got to say goodbye to him because, by the time I found out he was leaving, he was gone. I called him daily of course, but no answer. I didn't push it though - one call a day was all I did and even if he didn't answer at least he knew I was still thinking of him and hoping he was doing ok.
So the days bled into weeks and I repeated the same cycle: wake up, call Danny, the phone would ring to voicemail, leave a small message telling him he was on my mind, go to classes, work twice a week, sleep and repeat. It was a monotonous cycle but I dealt with it as best I could. Truth be told though, I was very lonely and I was also riddled with questions. Danny was my only friend on campus. With him gone, I had nobody to really talk to. Along those same lines too, what were Danny and I anyway? I mean friends don't kiss and confess feelings to each other do they? He never said officially we were dating or together or anything and before I could get clarity, he up and left. The one good thing about all this was that since I confessed to Danny, my inner demon was a lot more silent nowadays. I mean, sure he pops up every now and then, but I squash him so fast he has no time to affect me. I liked who I was becoming and I would not return to the abyss that I took years to crawl out of. I thank Danny for helping me see me for me and not as less than what I was worth.
But, for real, where was Danny? Was he ok? Was his family ok? Would I never see him again? WAIT! HAD THIS ALL BEEN SOME KIND OF DREAM THAT I INVENTED?? OK, maybe the dream was a stretch but, as anyone around me could tell, my mind was spiraling out of control and it was affecting my actions.
"Whoa! Be careful!" came a concerned shout as a force collided with me and sent me sprawling. A loud rumbling sound echoed behind me and I sat up to see a huge heap of books lying haphazardly and higgedly-piggedly all across the floor. Mrs. H was peeking over the pile, a look of concern on her face.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes," I replied, standing up and dusting off myself. I walked around the huge book pile to Mrs. H and the empty pedestal beside her, no doubt where all the books had just tumbled from. You see it was Literature Appreciation Week next week and Mrs. H and I had been closing the library early to work on the decor for that week, the centerpiece being a literal book mountain showing the progression of literature with classic novels forming the base and modern and contemporary making the middle and the top.
"Why did it fall?" I queried as I stooped to pick the books up.
"Maybe because someone was distracted and pulled out the book that was the one holding the whole thing up," said Mrs. H nonchalantly.
"What?" I said gathering more books, "Are you saying I'm not focused?"
Mrs H raised an eyebrow and pointed. I looked down only to realize I was picking up the same books and putting them down only to pick them up again.
"Ok I am a wreck," I admitted putting the books down.
"C'mere," Mrs. H said patiently and we both walked away from the book pile and sat across from each other at a table. Mrs. H didn't say anything for a while but then she broke the silence.
"All this is about your silver-haired prince isn't it?"
"I do not have a silver-haired prince."
"And yet you're blushing," she chuckled. I looked away and tried to hide my beet-red face.
"His name's Danny and yea he is kind of a prince. He sure is as beautiful as one."
"Sounds like you've got it bad. Lemme guess, he doesn't know and the desire for closure is killing you?"
"No, actually he knows. We told each other our real feelings weeks ago."
"Oh," said Mrs H, shocked, "that's new. Normally it's the unrequited love that causes the most grief of mind. Then why are you so out of it?"
"Cause he left campus for personal reasons and I haven't heard from him since and..."
I trailed off into silence.
"And you're wondering if you have anything with him at all or was that one day of confessing all that it will be?"
"It is scary how good you are at doing that Mrs H."
"What can I say?" she shrugged with pride, " I read a lot of fanfiction."
I laughed.
"So what should I do Mrs. H?"
"Do nothing right now," she replied. "You both like each other and that's great but now you're at a crossroads as to whether that like will turn to love or just fade away into another memory. The truth is you don't know and you can't know until you talk to him and you can't talk to him because he isn't here. You have to have faith that if he really likes you as much as you claim he will be there for you and he will be back for you. Overthinking will only make things seem worse than they are."
"I hear you, Mrs. H."
"And a little patience wouldn't hurt either," she remarked, "You did say his reasons were personal. Let him reach out to you. He could be in some situation where he genuinely can't talk to you right now. If he really likes you he will contact you. You just gotta be patient."
"I will be," I assured her. "Thanks for that."
"No problem. Now let's get Mount Bookworm up again or we'll be here all night."
"Mount Bookworm?" I chuckled.
"We'll get the name right later."
###########
Walking back to the dorm in spring was much better than walking back in winter and with my mind so much lighter I was able to actually enjoy it this time so I slowed my pace down. My phone broke the silence of the night. It was a number I didn't know but I answered and stopped in shock when I heard the reply to my hello.
"Hello, darling."
"DANNY!" I shouted, surprising the girl walking past me as I smiled like a nutcase.
"Hahahaha. Someone's excited to hear from me," he chuckled.
"Of course I am!" I exclaimed, "I haven't heard from you in weeks. Are you ok? Are you coming back to U.H.E? Are you-"
"Hey, hey, hold on," he laughed sounding a bit flustered, "I'm just one dude, not a supercomputer. One question at a time."
"Alright, alright how are you?"
"I'm doing OK right now. The last couple of days have been hectic but it's gotten better now."
"What's up though? It must have been something really serious for you to have to get personal leave."
"It's too much to talk on the phone in all honesty."
"When then?"
"When I see you in person."
"And when will that be?"
"Sooner than you might think."
"What does that mean?" I asked perking up.
"It means I'll be back soon."
"Oh."
"Hey come on, don't sound so dejected. Soon isn't all that long."
I sighed for a while before I replied.
"I just...I just really miss you. That's all."
"Awwwww," he crooned at me, "You're making me blush Kareem. You miss me that much huh?"
"I really do."
"I'll see you soon. I promise."
"I'll hold you to that," I replied.
We said goodbye and hung up and I stood on the path walk staring at my phone. That was great to have heard from him after so long but I really wish he was here. I hope he comes back soon. I walked all the way to the dorm and up to my room. I opened the door and entered my darkened room. I could barely see inside.
"Huh, I could have sworn I left on the lights when I went out to work earlier," I thought out loud.
"Then maybe someone has been in your room," said a familiar voice.
I snapped on the lights and my feelings changed from scared to shocked to surprised to totally ecstatic.
Sitting on my bed, wearing shorts and a black sleeveless shirt with his silver earrings sparkling and dangling and a sexy smile on his face was Danny.
"You should really talk to the dorm monitor about upgrading your room safety, " he grinned up at me.