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Description: After a couple of days pass after the blow-up with Minx, you decided it was time to tell Techno everything and that includes telling that two classmates know you are having sexual relations with a student and Professor. That is a liability he can't take.
Warning(s): !!THIS MIGHT BE TRIGGERING TO SOME READERS, REMINDER THAT YOU ARE READING THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK!! Crying, Angry Crying, Angry/Upset Techno, Unwanted things had to be said, Things were said to be upsetting, Depressive state reader is left in, Let me know if I missed anything.
Words: 4.8k
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It's been two days since Minx has made any communication with you and radio silence from her end, but that doesn't mean you could ask around to see if she was okay and thankfully she was. For the time being, she was staying at Alex's and Karl's dorm. Which you had figured out by Wilbur telling you mid-text and you knew you couldn't stop yourself from questioning how she was holding up. You messaged Wilbur first to ask and he sent you on the way to Alex once upon messaging you he told you everything that you should know and you thanked him. Minx was more upset at the fact you couldn't tell her in the first place and that she was worried that Techno was just using you as a pawn in his own fantasy.
With those days passing you hadn't messaged Techno either, you felt too guilty to. You couldn't even think about him without feeling that second-hand embarrassment and guilt. This whole argument started with the relationship between the two of you and couldn't even think about talking to him, yet you felt the need to let him know everything, even if that meant the argument that had to follow. Knowing that the possibility of you leaving a heartbroken was evident to you, but you knew you had to tell him, you had to set the record straight with him.
Maybe this was the only way you could get Minx back. Sure, after her yelling at you made you upset with her, but something in your heart was still wanting her back in your life. You had missed her so much more than you'd imagined. Getting Minx, your best friend, was more important to you than Techno at the moment. You were miserable.
Upon leaving, you texted Alex to let Minx know that you were planning on leaving to tell Techno everything in the hopes that would be appealing to Minx. He left you on read.
-----
Knocking on his door should have kept a smile on your face, it normally would. But knowing the next thing you got to see with Techno's face and the bright smile and his smooth words that would enchant you. But these pair of knocks made you swallow with hesitation. Within the second that he didn't answer you thought of running away and hiding out in your dorm till passing, but within the next second you heard the familiar twist and unlock of his door. There was no escape now.
You were faced with the normally suave Techno that you expected and that was glad to see. He leaned up against the door frame before speaking, "What can I do for your darling? You said you needed to tell me something asap." He repeats your text message, he slightly chuckles but quiets down once he glances at your face. Which normally would be adorned with a smile or either with you running for an embrace or even kissing him. But what he saw was a small smile with redness around your eyes, it looked like you had already cried prior to seeing him, which was true. And that set him off. The smile fell off his face and leaned closer to you.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?" He worries for the worst and reaches out to you. Before you could protest he hold on to you, his warmth engulfing you or just simply human contact caused you to start crying, the last time someone hugged you were the morning of waking up with Techno and him dropping you off at your dorm. Your hand gripped upon the shirt he wore and you could already feel that tear impression you left on the shirt, but neither you nor Techno cared. All that he cared for or all that mattered to him was what was causing you to cry. He wanted to ask you a hundred questions as to what was causing you so much sorrow but he knew at that moment you just needed him to hold you and let you cry.
He pulled you inside his house and shut the door to give to privacy from his peeking neighbors, he tries to lead you to the living room, which became harder with you just wanting to embrace. But finally, sitting down on his couch asks once again, "What is the matter darling?" His eyes scan you, "Did someone hurt you?" He spoke softly, caring and love were full in his voice. It soothed you to hear this dramatic change in his voice compared to Minx's harsh tone and words. Making you tear up again.
You didn't know where to start with this whole conversation, how do you say, "Oh by the way Wilbur and my friend Minx know about us, but I don't know if anyone else knows either because Wilbur couldn't keep his big mouth shut when he starts drinking." without freaking him out or even coming out sarcastic. Maybe WikiHow had instructions upon how to handle this conversation. And you just knew this was going to be awkward to say out loud.
"Y/n - Please, tell me what had gotten you so upset, I hate to see you cry angel." Maybe it was his kind voice or the pet name he used that broke you down even more. He softly sighed and held you to his chest, you knew you couldn't withdraw this further or you'd end up crying in his chest all day before saying anything, maybe that's what you should have done rather than speak up. At least then you'd still have him as yours. "Something happened and I can't lie to you anymore." You sat up from his chest, his eyes are filled with concern and he listened tenently. That or he was worried to hear those words that haunted him ever since having feeling for you, he thought you had cheated on him.
You wiped the tears from your cheeks. You stare at him, struggling to find the words to say.
"Minx knows." Simply saying, almost no emotion behind your words. You didn't know how else to put it. Techno blicks at your words, trying to understand what that meant but once it did register, he looked up into your eyes. "What?" He softly coughed, biting the inside of his cheek, still trying to understand. "What do you mean by 'Minx knows', what does she know?" By the way his voice changed so quickly was enough for you to get that he completely understood what your words meant. "She knows that you are my Professor and that we are dating." You look away from his gaze. He just chuckled darkly while his eyebrows knitted.
Your body flinched at the retort, hunkering over to make yourself smaller. He licked his lips then opened his mouth as if to say something, anything, before promptly shutting it again. Clenching his jaw and sighing through his nose. His brows pinched as he ground his teeth in an attempt to fight back every harsh word that fought tooth and nail to tear into his very being. Every second you continued to sit in his living room made it more and more difficult to have any restraint.
Perhaps you should've known better than getting into a relationship with him Techno, the first time that he kissed you, you should have pushed him away and switched your class, and never looked at the man in front of you again. But you couldn't, you couldn't keep your hands to yourself and had to have a piece of Techno, your fucken Professor. But his charming smiling and attitude drew you in, his large hands held yours and softly explored your body. How could you not fall in love with him? And you know that time won't change your mind about the feelings you felt for him.
Now you're here, can't even look in the eyes of your lover as you confess that your best friend knew about your relationship. How your best friend knows about such a taboo relationship.
It took all the strength he had to look you in the eye, hoping you wouldn't tell him what he didn't want to hear. As soon as your eyes met his he broke the stare, he already knew there was more. "Who else?" He questions and that question shook you down as you knew you couldn't lie to him, not anymore. "Wilbur Soot." You mutter loud enough for him to hear, and he sits back for a second, taking a deep breath to wrap around the idea that another student in his own class knew about this taboo affair without spreading the news like a forest fire. Again, he chuckles without humor and covers his mouth with his palm, letting out a groan of frustration. "You have to be joking." He whispers to himself. One of his students knew right under his nose. How could he not have known that? And why didn't his student go to the dean with this information? He's in disbelief with learning this information. It amazed you, how calm he kept his voice. Comparing from a few days ago with Minx yelling at you for being promiscuous Techno still wouldn't give you a response, just a shake of his head and a pleading look. It seemed taking him by surprise was the best way to get the truth out after all.
Your tears falling free at this point, "Are you really just going to sit there and say nothing?" He can hear your crying in your voice, even without looking at you. "Can't you see that we can't be together anymore?" His eyebrows furrow, his tone wasn't exactly angry, but frustrated. "The cat is out of the bag." You just sit there, letting him speak, "You know how much trouble we both can get in if this goes public. I don't even care that if I get fired, you can lose your education. A shadow of this would forever be on your recorder, you don't deserve that." Tears stream down freely as you don't even care if they stained your face. It was already blotched red and buffy. "This is such a liability..." He throws his hands on his head as he stands up finally and does a small circle, he brushes his hair with his fingers. And his words struck you, eyes wide, how it reminded you of what Minx told you during your argument. They were right. This was a liability to everyone around you who knew and who didn't know. God this was a mistake...
You shift your head up to him, your arm going up against his. He back up his shoulder, pulling your hand off of him. "Too many people know and we know we can't do this." You could almost see him tearing up. It broke him to tell you, he loved you and he had to break up with you before he could even tell you that. It wasn't fair in his head, how he wished he could go back to the day he met you and just ignore those little butterflies when he saw you. How he wished that he didn't chase those feelings with you. He knew better than to fall in love with a student. "You need to understand, we can't see each other again. We just need to act like this never happened." He chokes on his words as he sniffled up his tears before you could see the state he was in. It was easier to say than to do. But it had to be done, He couldn't get you in trouble, he hopes that you don't get in trouble for this relationship.
But as he continues, his words began to shatter your heart. "You and I can't be together anymore." Fighting back your tears from slipping. "Why? I'm 21 and you are 32. I'm an adult, we're both adults!" Tears start to flow down. Anger filled your voice and body as you looked up at him. Standing up to him as you tried to still tried to fight this, why? You both knew this was the only way this was going to end either way. Even if the both of you couldn't stand the thought of breaking each other's hearts. And if you were being honest with yourself, you couldn't be the one to break his heart, but Techno knew that and knew that it had to be him to break yours for this to be done. This was the only way.
"You don't get to do that!" You shout out to him, it was unfair of him. There is no way in hell this could be fair in any way possible. "Do what exactly?" He's puzzled as he watches you start to cry even more than previous. "Come into my life and then leave like it's nothing." He listens to every word and you were right, it wasn't fair nor right to love you with his whole heart and now have to act as if it didn't mean anything to him. But he has to play the part to keep you away, "Well that's going to happen right now, you and I both know why!" He raises his voice slightly, just enough not to scare you off but to get his point out. He could stand to do this any further. "I can't continue this between us. Get it through your head." He huffs don at you, irritating you further.
It's broke him seeing you like this, watching you cry and yell at him. He never wanted to hurt you. "I don't care, you need to leave." He spoke harshly. It sounded like he didn't care about you at this moment, but looking at him told you differently, but you ignored that. YOu were getting mad at him for doing this to you. "Get out of my house." He turned away from you so you couldn't see his face and the tears that started to stream down his face, breaking your heart along the way. He quietly mutters out, "Please just leave."You continued to stand there for a couple of seconds, waiting patiently like you always did for him, just waiting for him to redeem himself from what he said. You plead inside your head for him to say something next, anything. But silence came out of him, nothing. Shaking your head you gathered yourself enough to start heading your way out of his house.
This felt like the last time you ever got to experience him and you slowly started to break down even more than before. Now he does wish you had cheated on him, at least then he'd have a reason for being so upset for breaking your heart.
-----
It had been a couple of hours since you've been at Techno's house and you knew what you had to do once leaving. You had taken a shower, put on some fresh clothes, and a tad bit of makeup to make you look like a new person and not a person who has been locked up in their room for days and had no plans on leaving anytime soon.
You stand in front of an opening of a rather large wooden door, large letters above the door reading out "Counselors". Which is a place you've been twice since the first semester started.
You push open the doors to see a receptionist sitting on a chair. Their fingers clicking down at the keyboard, it took them a minute to realize your presence and they scooted themselves to turn towards you. You quickly slap a smile on your face, even though you could tell that you were crying a mere minutes ago. "What do you need sweetheart?" Their voice was slightly high pitched but they sounded sweet nonetheless. You swallowed to clear your voice before speaking up, "I um need to talk to my counselor for a schedule change." You look down at your fidgeting fingers, the shame of what you were doing slowly coming up to you. You didn't even say goodbye to him, yet the next time he sees the register for his class your name won't be on that list.
The receptionist looks back at their keyboard and types for a minute, "And what is the name of your counselor." You perceive to tell them and they instructed you to sit in the small waiting room chair behind you.
It was a couple of minutes worth of checking your phone to see if Minx had texted you or even if Techno texted you, but nothing popped up while waiting. And before you knew it, your counselor called your name and you were in their office. Nothing had changed from the last time you had been here those months ago, which had felt like years from changing your class. They brought up their hand, gesturing for you to take a seat.
The seats weren't as comfy as in Techno's office.
They finally ask the big question that was lingering, or so what you were there for. "So what can I do for you, sweetie?" Why did they always have to use "Sweetheart" or "Sweetie" you wondered? Could they tell you were upset? Which you hoped they didn't, that would add more than enough to your embarrassment. They had a grin on as they asked you while typing simultaneously. You tried to clear your voice as it didn't sound like you were crying none stop, but your voice was already so horsed that it didn't matter in the end. "I would like to change my schedule." You feel like crying again. Just wanted to let it all out. But you couldn't - more like shouldn't. You shouldn't bust into tears in your counselor's office or they might be suggesting something other than just a schedule change.
They look up at you, turning away from their screen. "It's the second schedule change this semester. Do you think this is a good idea Miss Y/l/n?" They asked somewhat in a condescending tone and she spoke chewing on gum. Making that certain smacking noise, annoying the fuck out of you. But they seemed so sweet already so you shouldn't even point it out. Their eyebrow was quirked up, still questioning your decision. You nod, waiting for them to take the hint that you were serious. "Your parents must be confused as to why you keep changing the schedule." They tried to make this conversation lighter with a joke but fell flat as you didn't respond. "But nonetheless, I can still change it." They mutter a laugh to light the tension as you sat so timid and quiet. "Yeah, they're probably not going to be happy." You say. But to be honest with yourself you hadn't even spoken to them since the beginning of the school year, they probably were confused at the schedule changes but then again they haven't messaged you about it either. Maybe you should reach out to them again.
They huff at your answer, quickly going back to typing. You take a simple breath, in and out, in and out, in and out. You kept repeating to yourself. Back and forth. Muffled sounds come from the desk, but your brain couldn't force on a single thing, racing away to somewhere different than your head just couldn't think straight. Why wasn't anything working? Why were you here? You should have stayed in your bed and just ignored everything around you. This didn't even matter to you, you're just doing this to ignore the fact you couldn't muster the thought of going into Techno's class ever again. You were too pathetic to see him again.
A single tear falls from your cheek. "What class do you want to change?" They ask politely, still ignoring the fact that you were crying or just simply didn't care or were too blind enough to notice."Is mythology still open?" They quickly turn to the monitor and clicked a couple of times. "Thankfully, there are only a few spots left, if you choose this class you won't be able to change it till the semester ends. So if you need to call your parent for confirmation and just re-think I'll give you a minute." A small and somewhat pathetic smile sprung back on your face, this was good. This had to be a good choice from your end, you had to move on. You couldn't have Techno's class, even if that meant you won't be able to see your new college friends. There had to be an end to the means. Maybe this was for the better, you say to yourself. Why did this hurt so much though?
"Also the teacher, at least from what I hear, is a very nice professor." The smile they showed tugged more up as a way to egg you on to choose this class. Maybe they just wanted you to leave as it was later on the day and probably holding them back from going to their home and your stupidity for falling in love with your old Professor shouldn't be holding them back any longer than they needed. They didn't need to see or hear your sob story. "What's their name?" You continue to swallow down the tears that were still trying to escape. "Ms. Puffy, but in the notes, I'm seeing, most students just call her the Captain." This was the first time you got to smile for the days you've been down. You liked the name. "She sounds nice." Your counselor nodded in agreement and gave you a look as if that was meant to be a yes. "Yes, I would love to be transfored to her class."
They typed and clicked for another minute before the last glance up to you, "Alright I will email you the class schedule, but you will have to talk to her in person to know what you've missed and what you need for the class." You give her another smile and thanks for seeing you and for the whole schedule change once again.
-----
You lay on your bed, the sheets covering your body and most of your face, tear stains sept through and darken your comforter. It didn't matter to you, why should it matter in the long run. Looking up at the ceiling at the chipping old paint and that stupid '69'. Sad music blaring out of your phone speaker and it somewhat did comfort you listening to fictional breakup songs but it also made you even sadder just listening to the two main characters of the song fall in and then out of love. It reminded you of Techno and you knew you should probably put more cheerful music on but you just couldn't at the moment. Cheerful music at the moment felt so artificial and forced. The annoyance of an autotuned voice singing about butterflies and rainbows would have been upsetting you even more. It felt as if they were rubbing it in your face that they were so happy.
It had been another day or two without getting out of your room, you knew you should have been attending class, but you couldn't bare enough to get out of bed, what made you think you could get up and go to class? You could barely get your phone off the charger to play music. You slept through most of the day and haven't eaten much either.
Minx hadn't messaged you either, yet you knew Wilbur, Tommy, and Toby had been blowing up your phone wondering why you haven't shown up for the last class. But you just didn't have enough strength to muster up a message to them as sad as it sounds. But that must of been enough for Wilbur to text Alex to tell Minx to check up on you. Because Minx finally showed her face for the first time in around four or five days after yelling at you. You didn't even know she was in the room until she placed her hand on your shoulder and caused your eyes to shoot open. You threw yourself up at the intruder, well until you noticed that it was Minx. After he laughs at your shock and your heart rate going down you had nothing to be worried for, or that you thought.
The first words to you are, "How are you?" Her eyebrows knitted together with concern, she tried to smile to lighten the mood but she could tell you weren't going to budge anytime soon. In this depressive state, she knew it might take much longer than she originally thought when Alex told her to check up on you. Minx could tell that you haven't showered by the mess of your hair and the smudged makeup that barely was left on your face. Your endless crying left your eyes bloodshot and half-lidded. It saddened her to see you like this, this was the first time she had ever seen you in this much turmoil.
You lean back down in your blankets, "How are you?" You ignore her question and proceed to ask her instead, which she just sighed. "I needed a break and I'm glad I did." She has a small smile on her face before continuing, "I didn't tell Alex or Karl." You give her a barely audible thanks for that, you truly didn't want this to go around the school, no one else needed to know about this drama.
"I missed you through," Minx spoke up after a moment, which shock you. Biting down on your lower lips, you could feel the tears coming in. But before you could stop it, a tear slowly treads down your cheek and Minx caught it between her thumb. And you couldn't even respond to her comment. "You know listening to sad songs won't make you feel any better." Minx's snarky comments were enough for you to cry, sad to admit but true. Even if she didn't mean any harm by her words, you were oversensitive at the moment. "Shut the fuck up." You huff out a chuckle. She's hovering beside you, for a split second, you could see she was sad for you. Especially in this state. "You have to get over him." You couldn't face her, more tears slowly starting to fall from your cheek. "He didn't deserve someone like you." She tried to be somewhat endearing.
She sat on your bed beside you for a couple of minutes, just taking in the time lost between the two of you. You were glad to have her back in your life again, you hoped that wouldn't happen anytime soon again, it really broke you down. Even if it was only for a couple of days. You had lost a lot in your life and not having Minx there for that time hurt you. "I missed you too." Your lips quiver as you speak and Minx scoops down towards you to embrace you in a hug. You both close your eyes and lay together in your bed.
Once again you sit together for a couple of minutes in silence. It was peaceful apart from your broken cries and gasps for air, but Minx just hold you close and begs for your forgiveness for the way she acted before. She knew she was in the wrong for yelling at you, but then again you apologize for not telling her at the beginning. You both had made mistakes and you both hoped and wish for each other tolerance once again.
"Did you love him?" She asks you, just loud enough for you to hear, even over the music that was playing. Though it sounded as if it was fading away from the conversation both of you were having. It was becoming hard to think at the moment. That question, did you love him, did you love techno? "I-" You say weakly quiet. Almost to a whisper, like it was forbidden to say aloud, and it somewhat was. "I miss him so much Minx, it is pathetic I know. But I think I..." You couldn't finish your sentence, you couldn't admit that you loved him. You couldn't say that out loud, especially to Minx, But she knew. She always knew you had loved him, even when she didn't know his name. She knew from the moment after the first date you had fallen in love with that man. It was obvious. And there was nothing else she could have done to make you stop loving him.