Stephen's bright eyes sealed mine.
The white whip in his hand stuffed my breath.
Dark clouds swarmed his verdicts as he clenched his cheeks.
His shirt buttons were out.
The grey fabric flew above his tracksuit pant and crashed on his furious chest.
Felicia had told him a lie.
I scratched my neck, shifted my gaze around the room, and marched backward, but the icy wall ambushed me.
Stephen hurriedly stepped in my way.
"Daddy, please, accord me one last chance to explain what happened."
He didn't listen to me.
He whirled the cane and smacked the void between us.
Its loose threads spread and trapped me in fear like a spider's web.
His aura of supremacy surged across the room and feasted on my ham-fisted strength.
His mind was made up and shit went down.
Despite my sick state on that cold Sunday night three years ago, he beat the hell out of me.
Scorpions crept on my skin at a snail's pace as the incident traversed my mind.
"Be quiet."
He raised the whip and lashed my arms.
It stung like a wasp bite and peeled a pound of my flesh.
I wailed and rubbed the burn.
He jerked the whip in rage and scarred my hands. "How dare you insult my wife? Where did you get such boldness from? You even had the nerve to skip today's sermon and lay in bed like Christ didn't matter to you."
He strapped my hands, yanked my pigtail, and threw me on the tiles.
"I didn't insult her. Please, believe me, Daddy she made this up," I coughed and froth spilled on his white canvas.
He ignored the bruises on my face and whipped me.
I crossed my arms over my shoulders and hid my breast.
Tears crowded my vision. "Somebody help me, please."
He crisscrossed my limbs with the whip and marked my back.
I wept.
"Stephen, stop trashing her for Christ's sake," Evelyn rushed into the room and stood in between Dad and me. "If you want to kill her, then you will have to kill me first. Can't you see how miserable the girl is?"
"Holy-Santa-delis! How dare you flog her breast? You should have died at birth you big-fat, good-for-nothing, horrible-dick-head, smelling-dirty-pig. Go hide your face in a pit; I hope your balls clap on a rack and you rot in the hades. "
Her venom stroked his ego and he roared. "Evelyn, get out of my way before I do something histrionic and later on regret. Ellis is my daughter, not yours, so allow me to correct her like a father ought to do. You have no right to lecture me on how to tutor my daughter; besides you can't even handle your drug addiction."
"Go away, and leave her alone. She isn't a slave to you. Is this how granny brought you up? Have you forgotten the promise you made on her tomb? She will be ashamed of you. You are a waste of sperm. I don't know why you weren't flushed down the drain alongside poop."
"Let's see for how long you will keep on protecting her," he grumbled and threw the whip. "Ellis, I'm not done with you."
Dad stormed into the hallway like an earthquake and shut the door with a tyrant's mighty strength.
The earth trembled at Stephen's feet and prayed for his death.
Terrified, sore, breathless, in darkness; my heart pounded in anguish.
"Hey princess, a queen shades no tear in adversity. She braces herself and fights with all her strength till she wins the battle. I will protect you with my blood if need be."
Evelyn wrapped her hands around me and we embraced each other.
"He won't recognize your importance unless you show him your worth. Remember; Christ and the heavens will fight your battles even when I'm gone. Seek his grace and his realm, okay?"
"Sure, I will." I flared my nose and wiped my eyes. "Lyn, I can't continue like this. Dad hates me. I'm nothing but a slave to him and this family. I want to leave this house. I'm tired of constantly suffering."
"He doesn't hate you; it's just that he is disturbed. He doesn't know how to show his affection toward you. Trust me. See, let's clean your bruises, and later, we can go have dinner. I made your favorites. . ."
That night, we sat in the open air by the campfire and smiled at the stars as she told me historic stories.
That was the night Lyn inhaled her last breath and gave up her ghost.
She went to rest after three years of fighting lung cancer.
She suffocated and died in my hands.
It hurt.
Her death hurt me.
I snapped out of those memories before tears could run down my cheeks.
On a rug of obscured empathy, I swayed to the song of endless regrets and dashed into reality; my spiral of self-pity.
My parents didn't love me, but Lyn fought for me even on her deathbed.
Today was the day she died.
Shouts stretched my throat as a strained elastic band, but a broken tear closed my lips.
It handcuffed my depression and drowned the keys in the desert sand.
Yet, illicit sniffs launched a gun at me and kidnapped my self-esteem.
I couldn't sleep throughout the night.
I had lost my family.
Every second of joy that we spent together didn't matter to Stephen.
Every minute that I walked through the door in tears didn't matter to Felicia.
Every day that I took the blame and the whip didn't matter to Megan.
I cried a lot.
Why would I even matter to them?
I wasn't worth their time.
I was useless.
I was a mistake whose birth stole ecstasy from their hearts.
I was the girl they despised.
Everybody wanted something from me, but they never cared to know about how I felt daily.
I wasn't loved.
Love loathed my guts.
The cold hands of death took away the one person who cuddled me in times of hardship.
I brought peace to the Hortons at the expense of my happiness, yet Elisabeth would be praised for it.
After all, I was born as nobody, to suffer for somebody and sacrifice my love for everybody since no one would risk loving me.
Just like Christ, the world crucified me for sins I didn't commit.
The nail of rejection burst my tendons.
The nail of hate perforated my skull.
The nail of failure hammered into my wrist.
The nails hit rock bottom.
Great, Dwain's picture fell off my hands and ambled beneath my closet.
I shattered a glass of water and kicked the wall.
How did I get here?
What wrong did I do in my life to merit this?
Tears ascended my inflated cheeks and sprinted over my vibrant lips.
Why cry when I'd waited for this moment?
Choking on my spit; I slumped onto the dresser and clenched my knuckles.
Regret sped in my veins.
Misery bounced off the abyss like a tiger and pounced on my chest in hyena's screams.
Megan ruined me.
She took my happiness away from me.
Why was she heartless?
I stood by the flapping windows, blinked out tears, and clicked my tongue at the sardonic agony from last night.
I crouched to pick up an envelope, but a stool knocked out my balance and rolled me over in cosmic knee reels.
I lied on my back, closed my eyes, and winced.
Dang, it!
Hiding my head in between my palms and nibbling my swollen lips; I moaned.
My parents were cruel.
Stephen's words shouldn't have gotten under my skin and riled me up.
Why was it hard for me to accept Stephen's decision to disown me?
I snatched a glass from my desk and smashed it against the flying windows.
Why did it hurt as bad as this?
Bile erupted in my throat and filled my mouth.
Did I mean anything to anybody?
Stephen's words burned my chest like acid; they melted my heart like lava and poisoned my self-confidence.
I queried my self-worth.
Why me?
What was life without a family?
I had no friends to count on.
My only friend was killed.
Evelyn won't have died if not for Felicia's greed.
Had it been I didn't wish for a boyfriend on lover's day my life wouldn't have changed.
Yes, it wouldn't have been a mess.
If I didn't listen to Anna, if I didn't marry Dwain; none of this would have occurred.
They put me in this situation.
Like a wave of thorns, the pain railed up my thighs and settled on my spine.
Saddled to dumbness and drenched in viscous bleeds; the dawn around me blacked out.
"Ellis, get out of this room before I fetch you out myself and throw you on the streets.''
Jumping out of a fatal slumber to virulent knocks and persistent swearing; a horrified scream hushed between my lips when the door flew open and revealed a hot-tempered Stephen.
He didn't look away from his watch.
"You have one hour to pack your bags and leave this house. I asked you to leave last night but you mulishly stayed."
"Dad, is this your final decision? Should I leave your house and never show my face at your door again?"
The night storm had exhausted my tears and no matter how Stephen's words hurt; I couldn't flood the room with tears and drown him in my distress.
He meant what he said.
"You should have given me at least a chance to explain my situation but you didn't."
"Do you hear yourself?"
He squeezed blood out of his palms and raised a rude finger at me.
His lethal words warmed the air around me and traversed my spine.
"You had a lifetime to explain your situation to me, but you didn't. You hide it from us and you expect me to give you a minute of grace? You renounced this family from the day you disowned your last name and sold your body to a dirty man at that parish altar."
"I didn't sell my body to any man. If you had decided to listen to me, you would have known the truth. I was kidnapped on Valentine's Day and married to a stranger in the place of this so-called Elisabeth Dixon. Someone out there looks exactly like me and could-"
"Shut up. I don't want to listen to your nonsense anymore . . . stop!"
"Dad, why should I shut up? I'm telling you the truth. If you wish, we can visit the Horton's mansion so that you find out for yourself . . ."
"You made this story up because Megan exposed you. Stop lying Ellis."
"I didn't. Please, hear me out before judging me; this is all I ask of you."
"You have roughly forty-five minutes left to exit this house. I don't want to have anything to do with your life any longer. You have brought me through thick and thin, pain, dishonor, and who knows what's next?"
He trapped my eyes in his and squashed his teeth.
"Ellis, your existence is a curse to us, and on that note; I want you to leave for good. Do whatever pleases you with your life but don't dream of coming back to this house. There is a cab waiting for you outside."
"Stephen!"
He stopped in his tracks with his hand shoved into his tracksuit pocket.
His name was sour on my lips.
"Stephen, I will never forgive you and anyone else for throwing me out of this house. Ellis seized existing from the day you disowned me. Thanks for granting me the independence I have yearned for years now."
"Trust me; we won't regret our decision in thousands of years to come."
Stephan vanished in the hallway, but his word of thorns dug into my chest and roughly handled my breath.
I crashed on my bed and flung away my bedding.
Groans escalated from my lips as I pulled my curtains and ripped them apart.
I tore a dozen and hurled them all over the place.
"Stephen, Felicia, and Megan, I hate all of you, morons."
I shouted at the top of my voice and reaped my pictures from the wall.
One by one, I winged them out of the window and bunged up at this meek one wherein, Lyn smiled at my innocence and chaperoned my baby steps.
I secured it to my chest and crawled into the fetal position.
Evelyn cared.
My emotions burst and spewed everywhere like cow's milk.
Their presumption against me lacked a degree of fitness, quite simply; they were dull.
Lyn saw my worth.
With or without them, I could survive.
Dad's words lubricated the gears of injustice.
He stood amid rich clouds as an apostrophe, but one day he would somersault from his high horse like a comma into poverty and bow before the fire of truth.
I braced myself up and smudged a tear.
I had a life ahead of me.
Eased by a warm bath, I tied my hair in a high horsetail, tossed a yellow sun-gown over my head, pick up a pair of sun shades, and slipped into a pair of brown ankle-length French strapped low heels sandals.
"The clock is ticking, tick-tock, tick-tock, move your ass out of there."
I rolled my eyes at Megan's childishness, picked up a duffle bag, and shoved my medical textbooks, storybooks, and a few clothes into it.
I ravished my drawers and took important files, envelopes, and pictures.
I breathe relief when my hour in hell leaped exhausted.
I folded my scarf, slung the bag over my shoulder, and sauntered downstairs.
"Do me a favor," I clutched my dark shades and pointed a finger at them. "None of you should ever show up at Evelyn's grave for whatsoever reason. Ellis is dead. Ladies and gentlemen, the floor is open for the garnishing of your teeth."
Their mouths dropped.
"You have lingered and abused my hostility; now, it's time to leave."
Stephen stood by his wife and she nodded at his silliness.
The couple made a face and unruffled their rude-diabolic irises at me.
I looked at them from head to toe, winked, and sighed. "Vent and die."
"Yes, let her go. Hopefully, the streets won't reject her stay. By the way," Felicia's mouth spanned in old loops and regurgitated gibberish talk. "The cab driver couldn't wait for your griminess, happy trekking."
She let out an evil laugh and gripped Stephen's arm like an anxious leech.
"She's not worth our time, let's ignore her idiocy. She has no choice but to leave." Megan placed a hand on her waist and ruined the air with her breath; rotten fish, while clicking her fingers "Get lost, bitch!"
I loved my effect on them.
I swayed my hips, fixed my scarf to blind my face from my ex-family, wore my sunglasses, and breezed out of their gate.
Where to from here?
Street air carried my scarf and I ran after it.
Littered with pieces of paper and heaps of dirt, the runway for plastics bags, the center for odors, flies nest, vast city dumpster's headquarters; the streets, the place Megan labeled as my home.
I jumped an irk drain and stepped on the musty sidewalk.
Sundays weren't rest days for businesses in our neighborhood.
They mounted the sky and spread their permanent dominance in Belgium.
When challenged by severe hail storms; they didn't flee; they defied it with wisdom.
They started as little firms and grew into big profit-making machines.
Fixed on either side of the road; like them, I had to get accomplished, enhance my career and prosper.
I squeezed through an army of merchants, wandered on the zebra crossing with a hand full of pedestrians, and fumbled into a thick crowd.
Up and down, back and forth, left and right; I trekked my half-life to Belgium knows where?
Yet, I prodded into the melodramatic world.
In continuous strides on random paths, before me was a deck bench hidden in green grass and surrounded by a giant flock of red roses.
The bench stood beneath a large tree whose blooms plummeted in summer.
Melodramatic winds sighed and bounced off.
The grass crackled and the flowers crunched under my feet.
One fine step allowed me to rest on the bench.
Thirst, hunger, and fatigue weakened me.
Maybe my family was right.
The day wasn't over but my muscles atrophied and my bones petrified.
Starvation stroke my guts at its peak and my stomach rumbled, yet I had no coin to brag of.
The land of death hummed my name.
So, I shivered.
"Hey, hey, hey!"
I stretched out off the bench as someone touched my arm.
"Excuse me, ma'am, this is private property. You can't sleep here."
I squinted and peeped at my environs.
I saw the same grass field and a tall tree.
I saw the same misery iced with a furious guard who didn't spare me a glance.
He scrunched his nose and ducked a hand into his khaki slacks.
"I'm sorry, can you just accord me a few minutes? I will take my leave."
The hunger worsened over time.
I had to eat.
I needed to quench my thirst.
"Five minutes," he dusted his boots and matched towards a broad lane.
Who would help me in such times?
I chewed my nails but no idea sprouted.
Since Elisabeth brought such a plague on me; it was best to inform her.
I rubbed my forehead and stared into the void.
But I reasoned it out.
I couldn't get Elisabeth involved in this.
What if Dwain found out about our secret because of my call?
At the speed of sound, I fetched my mobile.
"C'mon, you can't be dead now."
I removed my mobile phone's battery, fitted it in nicely, and tapped the screen. "Don't let me down, please."
It still failed to come on.
I raised my hands over my head.
"Ma'am, you have to leave," I jolted to a raucous voice and dropped my bag. "Or I will throw you out."
He frowned and locked his arms on his chest.
His eyes lit up in anger and he picked up my bag.
"No please, I'm homeless. " I covered my mouth but he paused midway in the act of propelling my stuff. "If you give me food, I will go away, please."
Hesitant at first, he lowered my duffle bag and placed it on the bench.
He counted a few banknotes and trusted them in my hands.
I skipped to my feet and thanked him.
"Take this and add to it, it's not much but help yourself with it. Now, leave before I lose my job."
"Thank you, " I whined and carried my things out of the field. "Christ will bless you with abundance."
I kneeled under a streetlight and prayed to the heavens.
Evelyn was right.
Tears of joy dripped down my chest as I handled my bag and strolled on the highway in search of a café.
The orange sky faded into a burnt doughnut and the wind whispered.
Its sound was serpentine; a lisp like a breeze, roaming on open bottles.
It blew plastics and papers away; smeared dust into my eyes and lit a storm.
Blue flakes illuminated all the street buildings and a light flashed on the clouds.
Thunder rumbled and the sky darkened.
The crowd rushed helter-scatter for a hideout as rain droplets poured.
Most people predicted the storm and carried an umbrella along.
In the middle of the unfortunate, I held my bag over my head and ran the race of life.
Funny enough, it drenched me to the sole of my feet.
For hours, the rain washed the lanes and refused to stop.
I hid my head at the doorstep of a library with a fist full of other unfortunates as we waited for the hail to subside.
It persisted till midnight.
"ONE CUP OF HOT chocolate, please."
I leaned on a small shop that happened to be in the depths of the unknown neighborhood I found myself in.
My wet hair and my dress stuck onto my skin and I itched to peel them off.
Yet, I had no place to go.
Goosebumps and shivers held my body captive.
"Please, be fast, I'm starving."
I sat down on a well-polished wood and dried water from my messy face.
"Here, it will cost..." I didn't bother to hear what the shopkeeper said as I pushed forth my money and crashed my lips on the chocolate straw. "Your change is..."
I snatched it from him and walked down the deserted road.
The chocolate couldn't deal with my hunger.
I craved real food and my feet weren't able to cooperate; they refused to trek any farther.
I plopped on a side bench and savored all the chocolate.
My taste buds vetoed the whipped cream.
It sparked well but the acid of misery killed its charm.
I creased the cup and discarded it in the twinkle of an eye.
My bones were giving up as my luggage weighed.
My ankle ached.
My sight faded but I pushed forward and sneaked into the icy night.
The pregnant night breeze whirled between my legs and castrated fear.
From a distance, folks bantered, glasses clacked, the lights pierced my sight, and reviled an old-fashioned eatery in the center of nowhere.
Inspired by the shape of a railroad dining car; the diner rocked on oversized wheels, lit up with Christmas lights that spelled its name.
I overlooked the name and didn't wait to join the people mooching food across the frosted glass.
The wind swept out leaves from my path and escorted me to the diner.
It had a long counter, stools, and small classic tables lined around chairs where people sat in harmony.
The aroma of divine food wafted through the air, spicy steam backed me up on my legs, and froth made its way to the tip of my tongue.
My stomach grumbled at the sight of golden fries.
I smiled and zeroed in.
I pulled up a seat and fell on it.
Staff was trapped behind the grill, waitresses and charismatic personnel chatted up customers and created a reputation of friendliness.
Stainless steel, flames, broken tiles, classic booths, ancient artifacts, and neon graphics enriched its interiors.
I spread-eagled my limbs and daubed my face on the mahogany desk.
Horrified eyes cast stray glares at me and with divided attention; they toyed and carried on with their meals.
The noise went overboard.
"In the midnight hour," played in the diner as I skimmed through the menu.
From their daily specials to their pancakes to their buglers, French toast, and pork rolls, their prices were within range and affordable.
I yearn to have a mega launch plus a super dinner special but it was super expensive.
I ordered their signature potato sandwich, a spinach pie, and a strawberry milkshake which was served the next minute.
The milkshake was thick and creamy.
It melted my taste buds.
It was over-the-top sweet.
I bit the pie and the aftermath was smoky-sweet.
The crowd in the diner faded with the night as I chewed my sandwich; a little crust, more of a scrunch, soft, salty, and mild-hot.
I tried hard not to tuck my fingers into my mouth; for the food was delicious.
I wrapped my hands around the hot coffee and gnawed a succulent sugar doughnut.
One customer beside me sat in a booth while most people left for their homes.
The doughnut slipped out of my hands and rolled on the tiles.
What now?
My shoulders slouched in pain.
How would I get money to spend a night at a motel?
Reality sank in and a cloud of sadness descended upon me as my hands reached for my duffle bag.
"Are you alright?"
I shifted my teary eyes from dusk and focused on the serene lady in front of me.
She wore lenses and had a black short sleeve shirt that read; the martins diner.
"Are you in need of any assistance?"
Some customers ambled in but she gave them a death ear.
Her tune played like a thousand flutes but I denied admitting my misery.
Pitch perfect!
Amid nightfall, at the center of nowhere, sitting in a diner; I burst into tears and hide my face in my palms.
"C'mon, take this, " She pressed a face wipe into my hands and patted my back. "Stop crying and calm down."
"Thank you. "
I filled my nose with the wipe.
Other customers made faces and one guy even raised his head from a newspaper, looked at me behind his dark shades, and flipped his pages.
Who cared?
They could think whatever they wished of me.
Anyways, I was ruined.
"You can talk to me if you wish, my shift has ended and-"
"I'm totally fine. Don't bother about me."
The music slowed to silence.
"Phoebe," the diner door flew open and a swift lady rushed in.
She placed her umbrella and coat by the front stand. "I'm late, I know, but believe me; it's not easy to get here after heavy storms. What? Ellis?"
"Anna?"
I blinked a couple of times and her face sank in.
Her hair fell to her shoulders while a black beanie rested upon her head.
The black polo she wore had the diner's name.
"What are you doing here?"
"You know yourselves?" the lady I presumed to be Phoebe switched her stare between Anna and me and was more confused than any of us. "Dixie, do you know her?"
"Who is Dixie?" I paused and regain my breath. "She's Anna."
"Okay, okay, okay, it's a long story Phoebe but I promise to recount it to you. Ellis is right, my real name is Anna." She flopped into a chair, let out air, and drummed her fingers on the table. "I'm beautifully screwed."
"I don't know what to say. You lied again. You always lie." Phoebe stood up and left the table. "Don't come after me. I don't exist."
"I can explain, Phoebe, wait, I didn't mean to," Anna's hands balled into a fist and she stomped her feet.
"Phoebe," she yelled but the girl ran out of the diner in white tears of betrayal.
"Shut that mouth, a fly would nest inside," Anna settled once more into a chair and crossed her arm's on the table. "You just won an Oscar for ruining my relationship. So, what brought you here?"
"How did you manage to tell it was me not Elisabeth with just a single glance?"
I straightened my back and supported a hand beneath my face.
"Lisa won't be conservative in anything; even in a priest robe, she still slays."
She hijacked my coffee and continued to sip as I choked to death at her joke.
The coffee and the look on her face were bitter.
I steeled. "You were in a relationship with Phoebe?"
I cleared my throat. "So-"
"Yes, whatever you call it. Why are you here?" Her frown worsened at the sight of my duffle bag. "Why are you moving around with a bag? Don't tell me you were traveling. Wait, are those tears? Ellis, what's-"
"I'm homeless," I ran my hand through my face and closed my eyes. "They sent me away and asked me never to return. They disowned me."
"Wait what? They who? Why? When? How? Is this a prank?"
"I'm serious, my parents sent me packing after they discovered that I'd married Dwain. Megan leaked the whole truth to them. I'm an orphan."
"Shit, is Elisabeth aware of this? You have to inform her." She took out her mobile and searched through her contact list. "Let me call her."
"Please, don't. I don't want to involve her in this. It's best if she's left out of my troubles. She has caused me a lot of pain and I don't want to speak to her this soon. I need to heal first."
"You may be right," she nudged the device into her jeans pocket and her knuckles turned white. "So those bastards sent you to the streets just like that? Bloody hell, they merit no life. They are as cruel as hell."
"Yes they are, and they will taste their coins." I placed my elbows on the desk and faked a smile. "What goes around comes around because life is a boomerang. It always returns to the starting point. Would you mind me crashing at your place tonight?"
"Nope. You can even move into my apartment till you succeed to find a place of your own and a good job."
"Come here," I raced out of my seat and gripped her in a bear hug. "Thank you so much, thank you abundantly. I'm so grateful. What about your grandma? Are you sure she won't hate my guts?"
"Oh! Grandma, yes, she will hate your guts but lucky you, she's on a year's trip to France. Her health isn't the best. So, you can stay."
I waited on Anna to finish her shift and by midnight we made our way to her apartment which was on the outskirts of town.
I caught a fever and headache, but then she lent me her coat throughout the journey to her home; my new home, our home.
We alighted from the cab and strolled to her porch.
Lights were out, but moonlight ignited her prettily kempt lawn.
"Come in," She reached for a switch and the lights flickered on. "Hand that to me, you shouldn't be carrying much weight."
She took my duffle bag and ushered me into her living room.
"Nice place," I hummed and glanced at the white cotton sofas, the dark shade of brown on the walls, and her flat-screen television.
It was a little apartment with expensive and rare furniture. "You live in luxury."
"I worked my ass day and night for it.'' She moved to the in-built wooden fireplace and made a fire. "Take it, it's going to ease the headache."
She handed me a glass of water and painkillers.
"What about Phoebe, won't you try calling her? Like you know-"
"She was my one-night stand who ended up being so much attached."
"One nightstand? What do you mean?"
"I don't do relationships. Phoebe wants to settle down, you know, like have a real family, buy a bigger house and all that shit, but I'm not in. Enough about me and more about you, so what are your plans?"
I swallowed the drugs and passed her the half-filled glass.
I had no plans since my world hung upside down, but I hungered to move on.
"It's difficult to kind of make up my mind right now-" a knock at the door halted my words. "Someone is at the door. Are you expecting anybody?"
"None I know of," she dazed and sprang up. "Who's at the door?"
"Your landlady and I need my rent this minute or you pack out now."