Jordan:
Can we meet?
Jordan:
Let's have a dinner tonight, Reign.
Mariin akong napapikit ng makita ang magkasunod na mensahe na nagmula kay Jordan.
I agreed to give him another chance, not because I want us to be together again. I know that If I'd agree with this ay titigil din siya kalaunan.
Along the way while we are 'dating', I know that he will realize that it was just all guilt and nothing more.
Gagawin ko ito para mawala na ang mga hang-up's namin sa isa't-isa dahil ayoko naman na mayroon pang hindi pagkakaunawaan sa pagitan namin sa oras na ipakilala ko ang kaniyang anak sa kaniya.
This will probably make things good between us as Xanley's parents.
After all of this dating again, If Jordan wants to stop then that is fine with me. Sa oras na na-realized niya na na wala na talaga siyang nararamdaman sa akin ay ako na mismo ang unang magtitigil sa kung ano mang nasa aming pagitan.
Ako:
Okay, just send me the details.
I replied after a couple of minutes.
Hindi ko inaasahan na makakapag reply siya agad dahil sa pagkakaalam ko ay nasa trabaho siya ngayon. Maybe he has a lot of free time in his hands right now, after all he is his own boss.
Jordan:
Can't I pick you up?
I sighed heavily.
Would I let him pick me up? No.
Mommy and Daddy would probably realized who he is the moment they saw him picking me up. Lalo na ngayon dahil nandito sa bahay ang mga magulang ko.
Alam ko na kapag natitigan nila ng matagal si Jordan ay malalaman nila na siya ang tatay ni Xanley. Daddy would probably punch him. Kaya huwag nalang.
They will overreact with the fact that some guy will pick me up at home. They'll probably think of him as my potential boyfriend or whatsoever. I don't want to get their hopes up on something that is just temporary.
Ako:
No, I can drive.
I hit the send button.
I felt a little bit guilty because of my cold reply but what can I do? Should I act all sweet after everything?
Ni-hindi ko na nga maalala kung paano maging sweet sa ibang lalaki except kay Xanley.
I already forgot any feelings which involves a relationship love.
Jordan:
Alright, just call me if you change your mind.
After that message ay natanggap ko na ang address ng hotel kung saan kami mag di-dinner.
Nanliit ang aking mata ng malaman na ang restaurant doon ay sikat dahil sa sweet ambiance nito at kadalasan ay puro mag nobyo o mag-asawa ang kumakain.
What did I even expect, right?
"Xanley, stop running! Baka madapa ka!" Sigaw ko sa aking anak nang makita na tumatakbo na naman siya habang nakikipaglaro sa golden retriever na asong iniregalo ni Daddy sa kaniya.
"Wait Mommy!" Sigaw niya pabalik habang humahalikhik at mukhang tuwang-tuwa sa ginagawang paghabol sa kaniya ng aso.
Sa huli ay kinuhanan ko nalang siya ng litrato at video habang tumatakbo-takbo doon.
"Xanley, I'm gonna ask you something." Seryoso kong ani sa bata.
Nang nakita na seryoso ako ay tumigil sa pagtakbo si Xanley at marahang hinawakan ang aso ng ulo bago lumapit sa akin.
"What is it Mama?" Nakalabing tanong niya.
"Do you remember when we were at New Jersey?" I started. "Hindi ba there was a gathering at your school? The one with you have to bring your father?"
He nodded. Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay.
"Yes Mama,"
"D-do you want to meet your father soon?" I asked, a little bit nervous.
Of course! Xanley would like to meet his father. Sino ba namang hindi?
"You mean Papa?" He asked curiously.
"Yes, Papa. Like what Lola said to you." I bit my lower lip.
Umupo ako at lumebel sa kaniyang tingin.
"I don't know, Mama. Yes?" Naguguluhang sagot niya.
"Do you feel a little bit uneasy when we were at New Jersey? Tuwing nakikita mo ang mga kaibigan mo with their father?"
Sandali siyang napatigil. "A little bit, Mama. But it's fine. I mean, I like seeing my friends with their family."
Was I too selfish? Siguro dapat noon pa man ay sinabi ko na kay Jordan ang tungkol dito. I never knew that Xanley feel this way.
"Okay," I kissed his cheeks. "Take a bath after playing with the dog, aalis si Mama ngayon." Utos ko kay Xanley matapos na makapag-ayos.
I did not bother putting much make-up on because I was too lazy to blend anything on my face right now. I just wore a satin black dress with a deep neckline together with a white blazer to cover me up in case it gets cold at the restaurant.
Pinaakyat ko na si Xanley sa aming kwarto upang makaligo na.
As much as I can, I tried to walk in silence despite of wearing a high heels. Dahan-dahan at mabagal akong naglalakad habang nililingon kung nasa paligid ba ang aking magulang.
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makita na wala naman sila, siguro ay nasa kwarto.
"Where are you going Reign?" Lihim akong napangiwi nang marinig ang boses ni Mommy.
Inayos ko ang aking pagtayo at ang suot na damit.
"Out, mommy. Inaya ako ng dati kong mga kaibigan." Nakagat ko ang aking labi dahil sa kasinungalingan.
Really, Reign? Don't you have a better excuse?
Sa tingin ko naman ay hindi na malalaman nina Mommy at Daddy kung sino ang kasama ko ngayon.
There is no way I am going to tell them that I am going on a date with the father of my child. Baka kung ano pa ang gawin nila at pasundan ako.
"Okay, have fun but not too much fun, alright?" Hinalikan ko si Mommy sa pisngi at tumango.
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng makita siyang umakyat na papunta sa aming kwarto.
Ipinatawag ko ang isa sa aming driver upang ipagmaneho ako sa Cuenco Hotels.
Hindi pa naman ganoong ka-late ngayon. Mag-aalas otso pa lamang ng gabi kaya ayos lang.
I wonder if Jordan is already there?
Siguro naman ay wala doon ang mga pinsan ko? Napakalaki ng Manila para aksidente pa kaming magkita-kita doon.
Sana lamang ay wala akong kakilala na makita doon. I don't want to cause any rumors around. Alam kong ilalagay ako sa hot seat ng mga pinsan ko sa oras na malaman nila na mayroon akong ka-date, lalo na at si Jordan pa iyon.
They will probably torture me if they get the news.
"Ma'am nandito na po tayo." Nawala lamang ako sa aking pag-iisip ng magsalita ang aming driver.
Lumingon ako at napansin na nandito na nga kami sa harap ng hotel. Nagpasalamat ako sa aming driver.
"I'm just going to text you, Manong." Pinagbuksan ako ng isa sa mga bellboy para makababa na ng kotse.
Ngumiti ako sa lalaki. "Thank you," Pasasalamat ko bago tuluyang pumasok sa entrance ng restaurant.
I stop mid-air when a woman stopped me.
"Ma'am what's your name po?" Nakasuot siya ng pang waitress na uniform at may hawak na isang papel.
"I'm Reign Vasquez. I think Jordan El Viejo made a reservation here?"
Sandaling nanlaki ang kaniyang mata habang tinitignan ako. Mayroon siyang sinenyas sa kaniyang mga kasama kaya medyo nagkagulo sila.
I heard someone said 'VIP' from afar.
Mayroong lumapit sa akin na isang lalaki. Basing on what he is wearing ay mukhang manager siya dito.
"Hi ma'am, I'll accompany you to your private room." Ngumiti anv lalaki at thmabi sa akin.
"Private room?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
"Yes, ma'am. Mr. El Viejo reserved a private room po. Hinihintay niya na po kayo doon."
I thought we are just going to eat together with the other people. Hindi ko naman inakala na nagpa-reserved pa pala ng pribadong kwarto si Jordan.
But that's fine with me, at least doon ay wala masyadong makakakita sa amin. Mas ligtas doon dahil kami lamang ang tao sa loob.
But doesn't that gives us an intimate moment together?
What the hell? Anong intimate, Reign?!
The manager opened the door for me. Kinagat ko ang aking labi bago tuluyang nakapasok doon.
I saw Jordan's back. Nakatalikod iyon sa akin. He is wearing a dress shirt, iba sa nakasanayan kong suot niya na long sleeves.
"Hey," Pagtawag ko sa kaniyang pansin.
I saw him tensed a bit. Dahan-dahan siyang humarap sa akin at ngumiti. Medyo nagulat pa ako dahil mayroon siyang hawak na isang boquet ng bulaklak.
From this distance ay hindi ko maiwasan na hindi mapansin ang paglaki ng kaniyang katawan. Sa tingin ko ay tumangkad din siya at mas gumwapo.
Well, I don't want to be a hypocrite and lie.
He walked swiftly in my direction with his eyes focused on me.
I suddenly felt a little bit of nervousness because of the way he looks at me.
"Thank you," Ngumiti ako ng iniabot niya ang boquet sa akin.
Was I too focused on Jordan's back kaya ngayon ko lamang napansin ang dekorasyon ng kwarto?
"I'm glad you were able to come, I thought you were going to ditch me." Ngumiti siya.
"Yeah, hindi naman ako busy. Isa pa ay hindi ako nagtatrabaho kaya walang ginagawa." Iginaya niya ako papunta sa aking upuan. "Thank you,"
Maybe I shouldn't be too harsh to him? I know that I've told myself that I already moved on kaya ayos lang siguro na kausapin ko siya ng normal. I should set aside our past.
The waiter started to served us a wine. I patiently waited as he poured down the liquid in the wine glass in-front of me.
"Ilang percent yan?" I asked suddenly.
Medyo natapon pa ng kaunti iyong wine dahil nagulat ang lalaki ng magsalita ako.
"H-hala sorry po m-ma'am" He stuttered.
"No that's fine." I smiled to ease his nervousness.
Tinignan ko si Jordan at nakita na masama ang tingin niya sa waiter. Kaya siguro natapon ng waiter ang kaunting wine dahil sa titig niya.
"12% po," Sabi ng waiter bago lumabas.
"What?" Naguguluhang tanong ko kay Jordan ng makita na medyo sumama ang kaniyang tingin sa akin.
I didn't expect to see him rolling his eyes. Pinagpatong niya ang kaniyang kamay.
I unconsciously laughed because of what he did.
Nawala agad ang paghalakhak sa aking labi ng mapagtanto ang ginawang pagtawa.
Shit.
To recover myself from the possible awkwardness, I smirked.
"That waiter have a crush on you." He said.
Panibagong waiter na ang nag se-serve sa amin ngayon.
"What? How can you tell?"
"I... know." He answered while filling up my plate.
"You... know? Ano ka manghuhula?"
"I'll have that waiter fired. He was staring at you and he even spilled the wine." He stated the obvious.
"What? Don't be unreasonable. 'Saka he wasn't staring at me." I tried to defend the waiter.
Kawawa naman, sigurado talaga ako na natapon niya ang wine dahil kay Jordan.
"He was. You did not realized it because you were too busy watching the wine."
"Are you something like a cctv now?" I laughed.
This is a normal conversation right?
Kinuha niya ang aking plato upang hiwain ang stake doon. Pagkatapos ay ibinalik din ito sa akin.
My son's face suddenly flashed in my mind. Iyong pag-uusap namin kanina kung saan sa tingin ko ay mayroong kakaunting inggit sa kaniyang puso tuwing nakikita na kumpleto ang pamilya ng kaniyang mga kaklase.
I know that he wasn't telling the complete truth earlier. I know that he wanted to meet his father but he was too afraid.
Hindi naman ganoong ka-tanga ang anak para hindi hanapin ang kaniyang ama.
Maybe I can try again? Jordan and I can try again. At kung guilt lang ito hanggang dulo ay ta-tanggapin ko cause at the end of the day, I knew that I tried.
I want to make Xanley happy again by giving him a whole and not messy family.