Dear Harper,
My sweet child, you are as smart as they come, and just as stubborn, too, but I wouldn't change you for the world. You are my everything. I can't tell you I love you enough. There are no words in the dictionary or the alphabet that can describe how much I love you, so I hope that the day you get to read these will explain the depths of my love for you and your brother. I wish Joseph was here, I know we would've loved him, I know he would've been the perfect son, the perfect brother.
You, Elijah, Judith, Gracie, and all the other kids are connected at the hip, always playing together, eating together, and sometimes, I even catch you sleeping together(note to self: limit sugar intake past 6:00PM). You're like brothers and sisters and cousins. It makes me look back at my childhood and wish that I had a brother or sister growing up. One day, I'll tell you about your relatives, but let's save that for another day. Besides, you don't want me to run out of things to say, do you?
I can tell you about the family we've met along the way. Philip Blake, he's my biological father. Now, it's people like him that make me wish that I could pick and choose my relatives, but sadly, I was stuck with him. He used to be a good man, but something in him changed...I think it was the world and what it came to be. If none of this happened, I'm sure he'd still be that loving cop I once knew...then again...no, I'll save that part of my life for another letter.
Brian Blake, he's my uncle. I don't know anything about him other than the fact that I found him in the woods five years ago with some chick named Lilly Cull. We talked, he seems like a good guy, but because of my history with Philip, I couldn't let him join our community. Not Alexandria, not Hilltop, the Kingdom, not even Oceanside. I just couldn't bear to look at him when all I could see was Philip looking back at me. Still, I wish I had more time to ask him questions. Who was older, him or Philip, being one of them. It's not important, but the curiosity of it all now bugs me anytime it pops into my head...I bet he's the older one.
Hershel Greene, my completely unrelated, badass, and somewhat crazy grandfather. He died a long time ago during all this. There was a war between us and a community called Woodbury...it didn't end well. Still, even though Hershel is gone, I still carry the lessons he taught me along the way close to heart. Well, that and I kind of unofficially inherited his house which was completely destroyed by a tornado. Maybe one day, if this stuff ever comes to an end, we can all go back and rebuild a massive house for everyone to live together. I had a dream about that once, maybe one day it can become a reality for us. Would you like that? I know I sure would.
Dale Horvath, my, again, completely unrelated, funny, wore-his-heart-on-his-shoulder, self picked father. He died before Hershel did. It was a walker. It crept onto the farm and attacked him, but we put Dale down to end his suffering. I hate wording it like that, but that's what it felt like we did. You would've loved him and he would've loved you. He and his wife never had kids, I don't think they could, to be honest. Still, he would've loved having you for a granddaughter.
Carl Grimes, my brother. I know I said I didn't have any siblings growing up, but Carl...he was my brother. He was Rick's kid, he died trying to save someone, he died saving us. I'm sure I told you that somewhere in these pages and pages of letters, but I can never get tired of talking about him. He was my goober of a brother from another mother and father. He was Judith's brother, Rick's boy.
Rick...my other brother. God, I fucking miss him. Rick died five years ago saving everyone. However, unlike Carl, he went out with a bang...pun sadly intended. Rick shot a bundle of explosives and destroyed a bridge we were all working on to get rid of a massive herd, which Eugene is trying to call the Mega Herd. I won't accept it, it sounds too B-movie. The herd was on its way to Hilltop, it would've flattened Hilltop to the ground without even noticing what hit them, but Rick stopped them. He died saving us. I tried to find him after, but there were so many bodies...God, forgive me.
That was the last night I saw your father. I know you're aware of this after reading my constant ramblings about how he will come back or how many days had passed since we last saw him, but so much time has passed since I last wrote a letter...three years, to be exact(this book is starting to get old, I hope none of the pages fall out before you get to read them). Truth is, Harper...I gave up. I searched for him, I waited up for him day in and day out, but in the end, I had to take care of you. For a while, I just said that he needed his space after losing Rick. That turned into he'll come back when he's ready, but now I'm at the point where if he shows up, I might just throw him into a wood chipper.
I feel like he abandoned us, Harper. He promised me before Rick died that he'd never leave me. I know he made that promise before Rick's death rattled everyone to their core, but he knew what he had back home waiting for him. You don't see me abandoning my family for whatever reason. I don't know if he's out there looking for him still or if he can't stand the thought of being here, at a place Rick once helped form, but it still doesn't excuse what he did to us.
That being said, if you grow up and find me rotting in a jail cell in Alexandria one day, just know it's for the hell of a beating I intend on delivering onto Daryl the next time I see him.
Some things I haven't written about in these letters are obvious and I wouldn't normally bore you with repetition, but I can't find the will to close this book and be done with this letter. I have the need to write and write, I must. Michonne had a baby nine months after Rick died. A beautiful baby boy. She named him after Rick. I helped her through the labor while Siddiq and Enid helped deliver her.
Michonne has a large X burned onto her back. She let someone she knew from her past life move into Alexandria, but that person wasn't who she thought she knew. She changed...the world changed her. She abducted children from happy families and turned them into thieves and murderers. She kidnapped Judith and Elijah, but I was thankful that I let Tammy watch you that day. Michonne's friend is dead now, as are most of those children of hers, but some got away. Still, letting them get away was almost like killing them anyways.
MJ and Jesus got married...to an extent. They wanted Gabriel to perform the marriage, but he wouldn't do it because, even though he supported gay rights, he didn't believe in gay marriage. So, in the power invested in me, I married them instead. There's no hard feelings towards Gabriel, it is what it is, and we respect his beliefs.
Speaking of Gabriel, he's now dating Rosita, much to everyone's surprise. He was dating Anne at one point, but she just vanished one day, decided to go out on her own. I liked her. I hope she's doing well.
Carol and Ezekiel are married now, too. Carol refuses to make a big deal out of it, but it's a huge deal. We're just happy she finally found herself a good man to settle down with.
Jerry and Nabila had a couple more children, who you adore so much. We try to have play dates as often as possible.
Maggie left Hilltop to go live with Georgie or whatever her name is. It's the chick we used to give records to in exchange for how-to books for the end of the world. Martha Stewart ain't got shit on these folks. Jesus stepped up as leader for Hilltop in her absence with Aaron being his number two. He wanted MJ to take the position, but he refused because he said there was someone more deserving of the position. So, he settled for being first man instead. However, if Aaron becomes leader, he has made me his number two. We're not sure how Hilltop will like that, but it's only a just in case plan. So Jesus better chew his food properly, avoid deep water, stay warm, but not too warm, and not even dare get sick, stabbed, shot, or bit.
Maggie tried to kill Negan the day Rick died, but she changed her mind. He made me laugh, always joked around, but on the inside, he was dying. He begged Maggie to kill him so he could be with his first wife Lucille. When Maggie saw that death would be a favor to him, she changed her mind and put him back in his cell. I haven't seen him too much since then, just the occasional trip to give him a trim since people still refuse to give him that basic need. He's slowly starting to look better. Older, but more healthier than he has been lately.
Our communities are divided. After Rick's death, we slowly divided and eventually, we stopped trading. Every man for themselves. Michonne's friend is what severed the ties completely, in the end. It isn't the future Carl saw for us, not the world Rick envisioned for everyone. Somewhere along the way, we forgot what the goal was and just grew more greedy, more heartless. The Kingdom is hosting a fair soon, Michonne is helping to make it the one day we all get together and reunite, but she wants more, we all do. Michonne has drafted a declaration of the united...well, that's what I call it until someone comes up with a better name. It lists all the rules that each community must abide by and what happens when someone breaks those rules. She's been trying to get every community to sign it, but so far, no luck. Someone always finds a problem with it somewhere.
The Saviors are gone. The Sanctuary is no longer a community, just an empty factory that we sometimes make runs to if we need materials such as metal, wood, or whatever. The Saviors who stayed became part of our community, our family, but those who left...we haven't seen them since the day Rick blew up the bridge. I guess it was for the best in the end.
Eugene did some tests on you a feeling months after we lost Rick. Your brother scratched you after he turned in the womb, but you never turned and everyone wanted to know why. Well, after months and months of looking into it, Eugene finally has the answers. No, you're not immune, but you are more immune than the rest of us. It turns out that not only your blood, but all the children who were born after the start have these mutated antibodies that help fight off the virus that causes people to turn. Meaning, if you get scratched or bit, you won't turn, but if you die and no one gets your brain, you will turn. In the end, we all will turn until a complete cure is discovered, but until then, Eugene is looking into the possibilities of using your blood to create a vaccination for everyone to curb our susceptibility to it. I told you that you were our future, didn't I?
See, the thing about the world now is that no matter how many people we lose, no matter what bad or good comes to us, the world keeps spinning. Day turns to night and back to day. We go to bed, we wake up. We eat, we drink, we breath. We live. We survive. One day, you'll be able to see what this world has become and how far we've come to make it to where we are now. I hope to walk those streets with you and tell you about Alexandria's history, about the wars we fought and won, and, as Eugene calls it, our migration to Virginia.
Today, I'm going out on a hunt with Eugene, Aaron, and a few others. You're not old enough to go, so Tammy is gonna watch you. I know you hate it, but I promise one day that you and I can go out there and you can see the world for yourself. I want the very best for you in this world, Harper Sophia, and you shall have it. Some day, you will rule this world over the dead, I only hope that I have instilled the education and tools needed to help you and our future generations thrive better than we ever have.
Love Always,
Mom