Sydney's POV
I woke up the next morning and I could hardly open my eyes, my head was pounding and I was so dizzy I thought I was going to be sick. My mouth felt like the Sahara desert so I chugged down the water that was sitting on the nightstand next to me.
I rolled out of bed, keeping my head down so I didn't fall over from the spinning, and slowly crawled to the bathroom. I pulled myself up against the sink and threw cold water on my face over and over again trying to help with the swelling around my eyes. It was no use. I decided a hot shower was my next plan of action, so I started the water, stripped my clothes off, and tiptoed in. I winced as the scalding hot water bounced off my skin but after a second I could barely feel it.
I sat down on the tile, tucked my legs up to my body, and rested my forehead on my knees, wondering to myself how my life had become such a mess in such a short period. This year was supposed to be a breeze, school, cheer, friends, and parties. No boys, no drama, and no Brooks. Everything has gone completely off the rails.
I couldn't help but think about the future and how excited I was to get out of this town and start fresh. The thought of college in North Carolina is looking better every day. I silently wish Quinn would come with me. I know she won't though, Sam has been begging her since her Sophomore year to promise they will go to college together.
I love that kid but he has his claws in her deep.
As the water rushes down over my body my headache slowly starts to subside, but the heaviness I feel weighing on my shoulders remains. I feel like such a shitty person for what I did to Layla and I have no idea how to make it up to her. She shouldn't forgive me really, it's not like I deserve it. And Brooks, I fell in love with that kid three years ago, and the time we spent together stamped my heart. He had claimed it as his but was never quite ready to admit it fully or maybe he was just too ashamed that it was me that he was claiming?
This messy girl with big emotions, a big mouth, and who beats to her own drum. The one with no real plan and who thrived on freedom, breaking the rules, and speaking her mind. Every insecurity I have ever had about being "too much" were exactly the reason why he would never want the world to know I was his.
All the thoughts make me dizzy again so I reach for the soap, clean myself off and crawl out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel and ventured back into my room, put on a huge baggy T-shirt, and a pair of underwear, slinking back under the covers.
A few minutes pass and my mom comes in.
"Are you awake?" She quietly asks.
"Yeah. Come on in." I say very slowly rolling over to face her, my wet hair plastered to my face in a tangled mess.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm super dizzy and my head hurts," I pout.
"Well, I'd say you need to take it easy and get lots of rest." She tells me in her motherly tone. "Here I brought you some meds just in case you had a headache." And she hands me two white pills. I swallow them down with the bottle of water she also had brought with her.
'Thanks, mom."
She sat down on the bed next to me and pushed the hair out of my face. "This is a tangled mess, hold on." And she walks out of the room and returns seconds later with my brush in hand.
"Here, sit up." And she gently grabs my arm and helps me to a seated position. I feel weak and it must show on my face. She scoots behind me and begins brushing through the mess of wet hair. She moves through it slowly unlike when I was a kid and she would knock me in the head with the brush if I was wiggling too much. I giggle out loud at the memory.
"What's so funny?" She asks.
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about how many concussions you've probably given me hitting me in the head with a brush over the years." I let out a small laugh.
"You little brat." She jokes. "You're lucky you have one now or that's exactly what you would get." As we both laugh a little louder.
"Sydney..." she says slowly, "I'm worried about you, the last few weeks you haven't seemed yourself. You have been held up in this room way too much for my spunky and outgoing daughter. And then after the accident and your fight last night with Layla. I just wish you would tell me what was going on. I know I haven't always seen eye to eye on things but I'm always here for you." she continues softly brushing through the tangles.
I take a deep breath. "I...well...I, I kind of dated Brooks and then lied about it....for three years," I say, as a little bit of the weight releases off my shoulders, normally the fear of her reaction would have felt a little stronger but I'm too exhausted to care.
"That was not what I was expecting to hear, but I guess it makes sense with everything that has happened." She says caught off guard. "Your Dad and I have always loved Brooks, what made you feel like you had to lie about it? Was it Layla you were afraid of telling?"
"Yes and no, I was never afraid to tell you and Dad. I knew you guys would love it. But the Dawsons have different rules, they don't allow Brooks or Layla to date anyone in each other's class, especially not someone like me. I'm a little too straightforward and not quite enough straight-laced for their liking." I confess to my mom, shame floating its way to the surface at the way the Dawsons have always made me feel.
"Yeah, those Dawsons have always had their rules..." she pauses, "seems kind of stupid if you ask me."
Surprise and relief fill my chest. I was expecting an I told you so or a why don't you think before you act Sydney Elizabeth..."But because we lied, Layla found out by seeing us kiss in the parking lot the night of my accident. I was going after her to explain."
She laid the brush down and I placed my head in her lap. "Now everything is all screwed up and Layla might never speak to me again."
She begins running her fingers through my hair, caressing my scalp. Between that and the meds, I'm finally getting relief from my dizziness and headache. "That's not a great situation. I'm pretty disappointed in you for lying to your father and me, and your friend but I can't say that I don't understand."
Confusion creases my brow, "What exactly does that mean?" I question.
She begins, "His name was Alan, he had blonde hair and blue eyes. He came from the wrong side of the tracks and I thought he was everything but it turned out I was not much of anything to him. Long story short, your grandparents did not approve but I did not care. We snuck around and I ruined their trust and many friendships for that boy and in the end, he left me for some red-headed crazy chick that was about 4'11". " She frowns at the memory. "So I understand when the feelings are so strong that you will give up anything to be with someone but what you have to remember is, yes, you may be getting to enjoy the feelings that you have about this person but are you getting those feelings back in return?" She continues, "Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how we feel about someone that we forget to notice how they feel about us. How they show us that they want us and not just by the words that a charming boy may say but by their actions. "
I didn't say anything I was too wrapped up in all the thoughts rushing through my head. It's weird to think that my mom had a life before my dad, it's not like I didn't know she was a teenager once but hearing about her experience seems like I've been let in on a little secret.
"We also have to notice the things we are losing in the process. If that's worth it then okay, go for it. But if you are losing irreplaceable things then you have to ask yourself if this boy and all his promises are worth losing it all for."
I lay there silent for a moment, tears slowly rolling from my already sore eyes. "Yeah..." I say as I sniffle. I don't know how I have any tears left in my body.
"You're a smart girl Sydney, you've always had a big heart and the world deserves to see that but the person that you give that big heart to needs to be able to take care of it and protect it. Not just throw it in harm's way when things get uncomfortable for them."
"Brooks was always too afraid of what his parents would say or think," I tell her.
"And how did that make you feel?" She questions.
"Like I'll never be good enough for him or his family's standards."
"You are good enough Sydney. Don't ever forget that." She says leaning down to kiss my forehead.
Tears still slowly rolling down my cheeks I ask, " Why don't we talk like this more?"
"Well my dear, someday if you ever have a daughter of your own that question will be answered for you. I've spent 18 years trying to keep you safe and in the process maybe I forgot that sometimes I'm allowed to just be your friend and not always your mom." she wipes the wetness from my cheeks.
"I love you, mom,"
"I love you more sweet girl." And she climbs out of my bed, leaving me to sleep.
***
Brooks POV
I woke up the next morning realizing I never heard back from Sydney, hoping I didn't miss her call I check my phone and nothing.
Just a couple of text messages from some frat brothers wondering why the hell I haven't made it back to campus yet. I've put it off until the very last minute because I'm just not ready to leave. Not this time.
I try calling Sydney again but still no answer. That girl makes my typically calm demeanor frazzled and short-fused. Irritation and worry come over me so I quickly start packing up some of the stuff that I had brought home for what was supposed to be a short trip.
I've packed what I can, taken a shower, and gotten myself dressed for the day, so after another unanswered phone call, I can't take it anymore, I write a note to my parents telling them I went out and jump in my car.
I make my way to the Graves' residence, convinced her Mom will be shocked to see me when I show up at the doorstep, and my heart races as I pull into the drive. I walk up to the house, take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, and before I can even knock, someone on the other side pulls it open.
"Brooks, I was wondering when you would show up." Mrs. Graves says.
"Um, yeah I was just hoping to check on Sydney. I had tried calling a few times but haven't heard anything from her." I say defending my reason for being here unannounced.
"As I'm sure you know she has had a tough couple of days, which has made her headaches and dizziness much worse. So I shut her phone off so she could get some rest. She's been so tired she hasn't even asked for it." Mrs. Graves opens the door further. "Here follow me, I'll show you to her room." And she makes her way through the kitchen, down the hall, and up the stairs.
I follow closely behind each step.
My palms are sweating as she knocks on the door and lets herself in.
I've been in Sydney's room a few times when her parents were gone for the night just to look around but never while anyone else was home. I feel uneasy and I'm hoping that Sydney isn't going to be pissed that I just showed up. We step into the large room and I see her.
Her brown hair was a mess, laying in every which direction, her blanket tucked up under her chin as she cuddles a pillow next to her. I hate for her mom to wake her, she looked peaceful so I whisper, "I'll just hang out for a little bit if that's okay with you ma'am, don't wake her. She needs more sleep."
"Ma'am? Who do you think I am, my mother-in-law?" She says to me, something in the way she smirks at me reminds me of the spunk I see in Sydney.
She moves past me and out the door, making a point to keep it wide open. Then gives me a look of warning to make it obvious that the door is to stay open or she will kick it in and murder me on the spot.
After Mrs. Graves has gone downstairs I sat down on the bed next to Sydney, kicked my shoes off, propped my feet up on the bed, and grabbed a photo album off the nightstand. I went back and forth between looking at photos and at the girl laying next to me, sound asleep, drooling on her pillow.
Almost an hour goes by when Sydney rolls her body in my direction, noticing there's someone in her bed without opening her eyes she says in a growly tone, "Mom, I'm fine. You don't have to sit here and watch me sleep. It's creepy."
"Good thing I'm not your mom then," I say back.
Startled her eyes bulge open and she tries to sit up but I can tell she is dizzy so I wrap my arms around her and slowly lay her back down. "Easy there."
"What are you doing here?" She asks me confusion filling her beautiful face.
"Well you see there's this girl, and she kind of scared me half to death because I thought she was going to die in this car accident. Then while she's recovering she promises me she will call and check in, something she hasn't done in a few days. So I became worried and decided it was time I came to check on her myself." I tell her sarcastically.
"Okay." She doesn't even argue which is a huge shock. She must have really hit her head hard.
The surprises keep coming as slides her arm over my waist, lays her head on my lap, and drifts right back into sleep. I stare at her for a minute and my heartbeat speeds up. Being here with her feels so right, and I hope that after everything that has happened, she is finally ready to move forward.
I'm ready for this, for her, for us, and in less than a year we could both be in Louisville starting over together.
AN: This chapter is giving me all the feels. Tell me what you think!