Queen: Don't Stop Me Now
Harry
This tour would be a completely different experience for all of us, it seemed. Most countries still had safety protocols in place which meant we'd have to cut our audience in half, and which subsequently led to us thinking about doing two concerts in each city instead of just one. I don't know if we were prepared for the exhaustion it would cause, but I knew none of us wanted to disappoint the people that bought tickets to come see us play. The team would plan out the calendar and check with all venues to see if they could have us for two concerts instead of one. More importantly, I needed to share the new plan with Essie.
"Hey love! How has your day been?", I sat on the floor and played with Bono while Ess cooked lunch.
"I took him out for a walk, I have to tell you our neighbours are incredibly pleased there will be no more renovations for the foreseeable future. Then I called your mum and then I edited those Gucci photos that Alessandro asked for. What about you? How did the meeting with Jeff go?", she drained the pasta and continued stirring the sauce.
"What did mum say? Does the plan work for her?"
"Yeah, it works fine, I told her you'd drive over and get her. What about the meeting, Harry?", I wasn't avoiding it, but this new arrangement meant the tour would extend for a lot longer than it was originally planned, so I wasn't sure if she'd still want to come.
"Okay, I'll call her to see what day suits her best.", I got up off the floor to set the table, "As far as the meeting goes, nothing... we'll have to do two concerts instead of one in almost all the cities, because of the capacity restrictions, which means it'll drag out for longer than intended.".
"Oh, but you can do it, right?"
"Yes, Jeff is talking to all the venue managers right now, to figure out how, if at all, the new plan fits with their schedule. I don't want to cancel anything, because we've all been waiting for such a long time to finally be able to sing and dance and enjoy ourselves, safely. It wouldn't be fair to the half that wouldn't be able to come, and I also wonder who would choose which half gets booted. There are a lot of questions floating around my head, and I only know I really wouldn't want to be in Jeff's shoes right now.", I studied her face for a second, hoping to read her reaction and figure out what she thought of this new plan.
"Gosh, that really sucks, Harry. And you're right, it would be incredibly unfair to those that end up not being able to attend. Is there any chance your team will decide to postpone until the time comes that everybody can attend?", her sympathetic eyes somehow always managed to make any shit situation a bit better.
"I haven't thought about it if I'm being honest... I'll have to ask Jeff. But you'd still want to come, even if it ends up being twice as long?"
"Of course, I'm coming because I'm a part of the team as well. Besides, I'm your girlfriend, and nothing would make me happier than seeing you on stage again.", hearing those words lifted a weight off my shoulders because I was really worried she'd think it was too long, too much work or far too complicated for her.
"It makes me happy to hear you feel that way, because you are a part of the team and I wouldn't have it any other way. It would be way too hard being gone from you for so long.", Ess fixed us two plates of pasta and we sat at our beautiful new dining table. The house still felt brand new after the reno, like I'd never been here before. Unreal what a bit of demolition and some new pieces of furniture can do to a place.
Essie
Harry insisted that his mother wouldn't have any special requests regarding food or drinks, but I still took it upon myself to ask Gemma for advice. She assured me that if we had tea and milk, Anne would be satisfied. I gave the house a good once over, discovering decorations I hadn't yet seen while I picked up. Harry and Anne were on their way back from Holmes Chapel which meant my palms were sweaty and I moved the same vase a few centimetres to the left and then back to its original location more than seven times.
"Love, we're here!", Harry called from the front door, as if Bono's squeals of joy weren't enough to tip me off.
"In the kitchen!"
"Come on Bono, let us come in and we'll give you our undivided attention, I promise.", he pleaded with our dog, which seldom did any good.
"Bono let them through!", I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him away from Harry and his mum. I was met by two sets of identical smiles and it kind of clicked in my brain how much Harry looked like Anne.
"Hello, I'm Estee, it's very nice to meet you.", I extended my hand for her to shake, but the woman pulled me in for a hug.
"I'm Anne, dear. I have heard so much about you that I feel we already know each other."
"Well, it is a very 2020 thing to ask if meeting over the phone constitutes a proper introduction.", they both chuckled and Harry started making some tea for his mum while I showed her around the house.
"Ah you know, I'm happy you got him to come live here. His house was massive and even with his personality seeping through – it didn't feel like his home to me. You created a lovely and warm space.", we walked through the upstairs and we were just about to climb to the loft.
"I agree. But it didn't look anything like this before the reno. The colours were all outdated, the wood was chipped, and the loft space was an extra storage unit I didn't dare to visit on my own."
"I know, Harry called me when the contractor asked him what he wanted to do with the loft space. I quite liked the idea of converting it into an office because it's far away from the main living and lounge areas that you could feel like you're actually in a work space, but at the same time it's still here in your house.", I liked that he called his mum for advice, even with the age he had.
"Ladies, the tea is ready!", Harry called from the kitchen.
The conversation with his mum flowed nicely, it wasn't forced and not even similar to what my mind told me it was going to be. She told stories about kid Harry, his shenanigans and how he couldn't sing without acting it out when he was little. Apparently, he was afraid of being made fun of and he always used to exaggerate his musical performances with weird costumes and acting. I was happy he became comfortable with himself in that sense.
"Now that I have both of you here, I'd like to get your opinion on something.", he led us out into the garden to play with Bono while we talked, "So the creative director of Vogue USA called me to tell me he was toying with the idea of putting me on their cover.".
"Wow love, that seems like a big deal!", Anne smiled proudly.
"Yeah, and even more than you think because it would be a series of photos of me in all different types of outfits... kilts, skirts, dresses, big coats, whatever I choose.", my mind immediately went to a dark place filled to the brim with all his haters.
"I know what you're thinking Ess, but just imagine how much of a game changer it could be. They've never had a man on the cover by himself, and if I could push it further and break down some misconceptions, wouldn't that be amazing?"
"You're right. The idea scared me for a second, because I thought of all the hate it would generate, but in the long run it could be so beneficial for the world. Thinking of all the kids that like to express themselves with the clothes they wear but they're not allowed to wear whatever they want to because their parents think it doesn't fit with the gender stereotypes.", Anne nodded along.
"Exactly! I was thinking the same thing. It's high time somebody stepped up and started changing the world so that in ten years' time a little boy wouldn't feel ashamed for wanting to put on a princess dress and his parents wouldn't fear for his safety if he did so.", my heart tightened a bit when he said it, because it was very true.
"I know you're right about that, but it angers me so much that people automatically assume your style is indicative of your sexuality. If a man wants to wear a dress, why does that have to make him gay? I never understood that concept because I wear a suit and nobody assumes I'm not a heterosexual woman. We've come so far regarding some topics, but we're still so behind in terms of others.", I've always admired Harry's bravery and willingness to express himself through clothing, despite all the negative comments that inevitably follow.
"Trust me when I say this – the world has come a long way, in a sense. When Harry was little, I was very worried he'd get bullied for his extravagances and his flair for the dramatic. To me and to his dad he was just a happy kid that like expressing himself like that... but to others he was weird and 'surely there was something wrong with him for wanting to dress up constantly'. I never used to care because I wanted my son to grow up without those societal restraints, but there are parents that don't understand it in that way and maybe seeing a very successful, attractive young man wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue will make them change their opinions.", she told this story in such a calm way, I envied how little she cared for what the world thought... in the best way possible.
"Bottom line is – don't be afraid to do what you want because this world has to get accustomed to the fact that playing with dolls and princesses doesn't make you gay if you're a boy, just like playing with tools and cars doesn't make you a lesbian if you're a girl, and wearing dresses or cowboy costumes really doesn't say anything about your sexuality because in styling you choose what you feel most comfortable in, and sexuality is something you're born with.", I got worked up over those topics, it pained me to think there were little boys out there that couldn't be who they were because of some twisted societal norms.
"I wish everybody thought like that, Essie... but I completely agree with you and I'll call Jeff to tell him I'm doing the shoot. It's important to do it, for my career but also for getting the conversation going and if I end up changing just one person's opinion then I'd say I achieved a lot.", he excused himself to make that phone call and he left Anne and me in the garden with Bono.
"You are lucky to have found one another, Essie. You truly are.", she put her hand around me and my heart grew a size. He was lucky to have her, and I was lucky to now have their entire family in my corner, because they were a lovely bunch.
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A/N: The amount of pride I felt when it got announced that H was going to be on the cover of US Vogue is unreal. For some reason, maybe because I am the way I am and often don't remember the whole world doesn't feel the same about certain things, I didn't even think about the negative comments. I certainly didn't expect the effing republicans getting their panties in a twist over a couple of photos of a man wearing something that he feels comfortable in. Happy the fandom and a lot of people that have nothing to do with us jumped to his defence! Nothing to defend, in my opinion, but the world doesn't think like I do. So, now I'm even more proud because he didn't give a flying fuck and did what he felt like doing. I wish more people were like H, the world would be such a wonderful place.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I felt it was important to include this convo, as it feels very realistic to me.
Be kind, always,
T.