☾ Ember ☾
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME." I sigh, two rooms and one double bed each. They clearly have it out for us. We finally arrive in Lodashine, find a somewhat decent Inn and they can't even give us the right amount of beds? Cheap pieces of-
"I call sharing with Clem!" Shann yells, I whirl around. She stands between us confused. Royal on the other side of Shann is trying his best to hide his horror. I lunge for her, but Shann swoops her up and runs down the hall to their room. I chase after them. Clem and Shann are giggling the entire time. He throws them both in and slams the door right in my face. I jerk the knob; locked. Asshole. Forcing Royal and I to share a room. I've avoided him since that night on Logon's ship. He keeps trying to talk to me. I'm too afraid. Too afraid to get even more hurt. I don't think I can go through that again.
I've been petty ignoring him, but it's the only thing I can do to protect my heart. My small withered heart. Gods-damn you Shann. He knew we weren't talking. He knew that something happened, and he forced us to share a room. I wouldn't be surprised if he told the Innkeeper for one bed each.
Oh, I am so going to kill him.
I am going to fillet him like a fish then feed him to the seagulls.
I kick his door with my boot and stomp back down to where Royal is. He's standing by the door, his hands are shoved in his pockets, and he's staring at his boots. He kicks the air. This should be fun.
I don't look at him as I enter our room. It's nice enough, nice double bed with ivy green covers and little white flowers sewn in. The walls are white, nothing exciting to them. There's a bathroom that leads out of the room. Thank the gods it's an actual room, instead of just a tub and bucket. I have, unfortunately, had the pleasure of staying in rooms just like that. I walk over to our bed and shuck my cloak off and throw it on the floor. Not caring to put it away somewhere clean. I'll buy a new one.
I flop on the bed and bury my face in the sheets. I let out a groan.
Royal comes in, he shuts the door. I hear him walk over to me. I suck in my breath. Now he's got me alone. He can force me to listen to him now. It's not like I can sneak off anywhere, we're hunted throughout Lodashine. Sneaking out would be stupid, and reckless. If I was smart I'd stay in.
Being smart is overrated.
I'll sneak out and find a tavern. Get drunk and have inebriated Ember deal with the sleeping arrangements. Yes, I like that idea.
The bed groans as his humongous body sits on the bed. I don't get up, I keep my face buried in the green sheets with little white flowers.
Royal sighs, "Avoiding me was petty." He says. I groan again.
"Yes well, you know me. Petty just so happens to be my middle name, named after my great-grandmother, Petty the third-"
"This isn't a joke," he snaps, I remain silent, waiting for him to continue. Because he's Royal O'Dea, he never stops talking. "You never let me talk to you. There was more to be said-"
"What more could be said, Royal?" I say very tiredly into the blanket. "I kissed you, you didn't want me to, you were clearly repulsed by it, and you told me we could never 'happen', or whatever that means."
"I was not repulsed-"
"Your face told another story."
Suddenly I feel Royal's hands on my waist, I whip my head up. He's pulling me off the bed. Forcing me to meet his eyes. Oh gods, help me.
I finally see him. I haven't properly looked at him in awhile. His golden curls are in his face, instinctively I brush them away. I stop my hand mid-air from brushing it more. Catching myself. I need to stop this. This isn't what he wants. I need to respect his wishes. Even if they kill me on the inside.
His eyes seem softer as he watches me, intensely green, darker than his normal mint. Much different. Distant, even.
My heart pangs just looking at him. It's too hard it's too hard.
"I miss you," he whispers, I almost jump back. Miss me? We've known each other for over a week. How can he miss me? I thought he didn't even like me. I have to admit though, it has been hard avoiding him. We went from talking everyday to not even making eye contact. It was all my fault of course, but I still feel weird not talking to him. Not being around him. I don't know why. It's all so confusing.
The only thing that had felt right was kissing him. It felt so right. Like I was meant to always do it. Like he was designed just for me. It sounds stupid, I know, but Royal felt natural. It felt comforting being that close to him. My heart was practically beating outside of my chest when we kissed. It was like kissing a star. So rare and so beautiful, you can't stop yourself from getting lost in them.
I stare at him puzzled. "Royal-"
"No," he says, cutting me off, "no, stop it. Just don't."
He grabs my hands, I tense. What is he doing? I don't understand him. He was pushing me away, now he wants me near? It's all so confusing. But, I keep my mouth shut. I'll give him that much.
Royal intertwines our fingers and sets them on his lap. He stares at them. Intensely. "A couple of years ago," he rubs his thumb along the back of my hand, drawing little circles, "I was in a relationship, it was pretty serious. Or, I thought it was serious. We had been dating for a year, she was always with me, we were practically glued to the hip. People thought we were disgusting to be around. We were in love." His hold on my hand tightens a bit. I don't know where he is going with this story but I'm not going to interrupt him.
"My parents were ecstatic, my parents are very powerful people in Marelli, as you know. They saw this as a business deal. Her family was pretty well off as well, so my parents thought it was perfect. It didn't matter though, I wasn't forcing my love for her, I truly loved her. I loved her smile, her laugh, her presence. Everything about her made me love her. She used to attend functions with me, I'd introduce her to the wealthy nobles, we'd drink wine and eat expensive cheese. It was actually entertaining with her there. One day . . ." he trails off, he stops rubbing the back of my hand. I squeeze his hands gently, letting him know it's okay. He can take his time.
He takes a long breath, "One day, my parents were holding a function for all the nobles in Marelli, my cousin even came all the way from Lodashine. It was a big deal. Serena begged me to take her with me, I－obviously－wanted her there, so she tagged along. But, I had noticed she was giddier than usual. I had asked her why she was so excited, and she had lied to my face. She told me she was so happy to be here with me. I believed it. Every word that came out of her mouth. I believed it."
"When we got in, she disappeared somewhere, I hadn't thought much of it. She usually liked to charm the other nobles in my home. It was nothing out of the ordinary. A couple of hours passed, I started to get worried, I hadn't seen her in hours. She usually would come and find me, kiss my cheek and then schmooze the other guests. But, she hadn't. I went looking for her. I wandered up stairs, I thought, perhaps she was hiding out in my room. I walked in to see that she . . . she was having sex with my cousin. On my bed. I was livid. I beat my cousin to a pulp and threw him out of my room. I had finally looked to Serena, and she wasn't sad, or crying, she was fuming. She was so angry with me for finding out. For storming in and causing a scene. Apparently this was a normal thing, between her and my cousin, they'd sneak away together and hook up. I broke everything in my bedroom. Everything I had ever known was a lie. My cousin was lying to my face. My girlfriend was cheating on me. And she was using me. For my cousin, and my status. Her parents set her up with me. She was forced by her parents to date me. It was never her decision. She was only doing what she was told. She had never loved me. She faked it. All of it." Royal's voice is low as he speaks, but it is lined with hate, and fury. My heart aches for the boy sitting in front of me. "I threatened to reveal everything, my cousin and girlfriend's scandal, using me for political purposes. All of it. Serena got on her feet and begged me not too. She begged me to keep this quiet. I was too angry to be reasoned with. What did I owe her? I had thought to myself. I owe her nothing, she played with my heart for twelve months. I told her to go to hell, and stormed out."
"The next day . . ." Royal takes a shuddering breath, I want to comfort him, but I don't know how, I think listening and holding his hand is all I can give to him right now. "The next day," he repeats, "she was found dead in her room. She tied a noose and hung herself." A little gasp escapes my lips, he doesn't look up though, he continues to stare at our intertwined hands. "She left a note, s-say-saying she'd see me in hell. Quoting what I told her to do only the day before." A tear falls off his face and onto our hands. My heart feels like it's drowning. I can't imagine his pain. I don't think I would've been able to live with myself.
"She killed herself, because of me. She took her own life, because I threatened to reveal her secret. I was never going to. I could never hurt her like that, even though she had already done that to me. I had said it to scare her, Ember. And it worked. She killed herself because she couldn't live with the shame if I revealed her secrets."
His words hit me in the gut. Oh Royal. What has that bitch done to you? He can't blame himself. It was her fault. She was in the wrong. Not him. And in her death, it has caused a whirlwind of pain. He lives with the guilt of it all, everyday. Thinking that, if he had kept his mouth shut, Serena would still be here. Oh Royal.
Royal finally lifts his head to me, his eyes meet mine. They're misty and damp, his face practically crumples my heart. Despair and guilt haunt his beautiful features. Guilt that shouldn't even belong there.
"I pushed you away, Ember, because I heard her voice in my head. Her voice telling me, the same that happened to her, would happen to you. Her voice was telling me you'd never want me. That you could never love me. Because who could? She didn't love me, my parents sure as hell don't care about me, so why should you? Her stupid shrilly voice was telling me I could never be loved, that'd you'd use me . . . I believed her. Again. I believed her. I didn't push you away because I didn't want you. I pushed you away because I didn't want to get hurt again. I can't be hurt like that again. My heart can't take another break like that."
"I pushed you away," he whispers, "because I was scared." He hangs his head in shame. Complete and utter shame take over his features. "Scared for you to break me beyond compare, Ember. And I'd let you. Because, I think it'd be better to have been able to love and lose you than to not have you at all."
My throat turns to sand. What was that? Pardon me? Did he just say-
He wants to be with me? I didn't see that coming. I thought he was just going to apologize and then we'd go back to whatever our relationship was before we knew each other. Acquaintances. But, this . . . this－confession . . . emotion crashes into me. It's overwhelming. I don't think I can breathe to be honest. Royal O'Dea just said he wants to love me. Love me. Oh gods.
Tears prick my vision. I bring our intertwined hands up to my lips, kissing the soft skin on the back of his hands. He stares at me, his eyes full of sadness. I settle our hands on my lap. I stare at his hands. There aren't proper words to articulate what I'm feeling. So, I'll give him a confession as well. A confession for a confession.
"I got pulled into the Band when I was thirteen. I was stealing a pretty jewel for Faune. I had seen her eye it in the market the day before. I wanted something pretty to make her smile. Her smile was the one thing that seemed to put me at ease. Because, if Faune was happy, then I was happy. And I was never happy－I rarely am now－I was always sad, nothing could brighten my spirits, except for Faune. Anyways, Minette found me. Threatened to turn me in, if they had found me they would've hunted down Faune－I couldn't let that happen－so I asked her if there was anything I could do for her instead. She said she wanted me as her Bastard. I agreed. That was where I met everyone. That was where I met Lokas."
I take a deep breath, I've never uttered these words out loud before. Never dared to make all of this real. But, it's only fair. He didn't need to tell me about his ex, but he did anyway. "That's where I fell in love with him," I whisper, staring at our hands, if I look in his eyes I think I'll collapse, "Lokas became my friend. He was funny and kind and he wanted to talk to me. No one had ever done that. Believe it or not, I wasn't very friendly when I was child." At this, Royal snorts. Usually, I'd smack him, but right now I want him laughing rather than crying. "No one had ever wanted to talk to me, I was lonely, Faune had her own friends at school, but I didn't. No one liked me. I was alone. After my mothers death . . . I was never the same. Lokas helped me open up. He showed me what it felt like to have a friend. Someone to rely on."
I frown, thinking how I left things between us. The hurtful words I hurled at him and my sister. "Soon I realized I had developed feelings, and later realized I was in love. But, he never looked at me that way. He never saw me. He did see my sister though. It killed me. I physically broke down. I couldn't take it. He was another person who didn't want me. Another person to not see me. I was devastated. I stopped talking to him for awhile, I got moody, I became stupid and reckless. Stupidness was what led to me going to Brallen with Minette. Getting those marks on my back. The man taunted me, and found out I was in love with Lokas. He had been spying on me for weeks. He told me day in and day out that I was not enough, I was not worthy, for who could love me? The monster, the bitch, the mutt. He broke me."
My voice breaks. I bite my lip to keep it from wobbling. Royal squeezes my hands, reassuringly. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "Eventually I was rescued, but when I came back, Faune and Lokas were running a muck around me. Trying to figure out what to do, how to help me. I had realized then, that my sister was in love with him as well. I noticed how her face would light up the minute he entered a room, how her eyes would gleam as she watched him. I couldn't handle it. It was one thing for Lokas to not love me, but for my sister to love him? It felt like a betrayal. Like they had both stabbed me in the throat. I wanted to hate them, to despise them. But I couldn't. I loved them both so much, I just couldn't. So, I pushed down my feelings, and let Faune and Lokas fall in love with each other. If it made them happy—if it made Faune happy—I could bear it."
"But I couldn't, I couldn't bear it. It was torture. I could feel myself withering away. Day by day. It reminded me day after day that I was alone. That I was unloved. That no one could ever love me. I hadn't felt love in a long time. Yes, Faune loves me and I love her. But she's my sister, she has to love me. I wanted someone to choose me. Someone to choose to love me. I wanted someone to hug me, Royal. Just a hug. But I never got either. And I broke in on myself. I completely broke myself, Royal."
Tears stream down my face and onto our hands. He brings his hands to his mouth and kisses them, just like I had. I finally meet his gaze. His eyes have turned back to their original mint colour. My favourite colour.
"I was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone, and die sad and unloved. Well, that was until you and your big feet barged onto my porch." I say with a small smile. He smirks. My stomach flutters at it. "With Lokas I just felt sadness and yearning. But with you . . . I can't breathe when I'm around you. It's like some sort of force is sitting on my lungs. Stopping the oxygen from entering. It is nothing I have ever felt before. It scares the living hell out of me. I had gotten so used to feeling alone and sad, but you seemed to change everything. I feel pulled to you. I don't know why, but I do."
"I was scared too, Royal." I whisper. "When you pushed me away, I felt like my world had snapped in half. The one person I thought who could learn to love me, didn't want to be with me. My heart couldn't take it. I hid. I hid from you and avoided your gaze. I felt so ashamed that I could ever let myself get my hopes up. So I reinforced my walls. I blocked you, and everyone out. Because it was safer to break myself than to have someone else do it for me."
"I need you to know that what your ex did was despicable. Making you think it was your fault was not right. You did nothing wrong Royal. Nothing. And I understand why you pushed me away. You were just scared. You had every right to be.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, I disentangle our fingers and cup his face. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. "There's nothing to be sorry about," I say quietly, "you explained your actions, and I explained mine. Now we can move on." He opens his eyes.
"And how do we move on?" He asks.
"It's up to you, whatever you want to do I'll support. If you want to be friends, fine. If-" I'm cut off by his lips crashing down on top of mine. A startled gasp escapes me. He pulls back, searching my face.
"Are you sure?" I ask, trying to hide my hope and desire. He grins wickedly at me. He nods his head and kisses me again. It's long and lingering. A smile blossoms on my lips. He wants to kiss me. He wants to be with me. I'm practically giddy. My hands end up in his hair, his hands are on my waist. Pulling me against him. He presses me into his hard muscled body. Just his touch lights me up. It sends tingles throughout my body.
My heart is on fire. This is really happening. This is not what I expected when we were forced to share a room. I thought there'd be fighting and it'd end with me－very drunk.
But I might as well be drunk. I feel drunk. My head is swirling. My heart is hammering. My lungs don't seem to be cooperating. I tangle my hands in his hair. Loving the feeling of his soft blonde curls against my fingers.
He pulls me into his lap, so I'm straddling him. I pull back from his lips. His face is flushed and his lips are swollen. I chew on my bottom lip just staring at him like this. He opens his mouth to protest—stopping the kissing no doubt. But, instead I trail kisses along his jaw. Up his cheeks. His temples. His eyes. The tip of his nose. Then finally, I kiss him again on the mouth. He groans into my mouth. It sets me on fire. His hands tighten on my waist. My hands rest on the sides of his face as he kisses me.
I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to slide in, but am stopped by him pulling away.
His eyes are glazed over as he stares at me. His breathing is ragged. Mine is too. I bet I look as flushed as he does. His arms snake around my waist－hugging me to him. He rests his head on my chest. I cradle his head against me. Not wanting to let him out of my arms. "I need you to be patient with me." He whispers, "I'm not ready to go that far yet. I want to," he chuckles, "believe me, I do. I just haven't been intimate with anyone in awhile."
I kiss his hair. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. Of course, we don't need to rush into anything."
"Thank you." He draws lazy circles on my back, it tickles. I try my hardest to stay impassive. Suddenly he draws one . . . lower. I jump off him with a groan. His face is confused. "I can wait as long as you need," I say, stalking away from him. "But you can't touch me like that!"
Royal tips his head back and howls with laughter. I scowl at him and stomp into the bathroom. I can hear him jump off the bed and chase after me. I jump in the bathroom and lock the door behind me. He shakes the door knob and chuckles. "You can't hide in there forever!"
"Who said I was hiding? I need a bath."
"Mhm,"
I sling some colourful curses together in my head and head for the tub. "I heard that!" He calls, and laughs again. "Busybody!" I yell back.
I turn on the tub and fill it to the brim with freezing water.
I go in hissing and groaning.
I can hear Royal howl again from the bedroom.
This time I say all my colourful curses out loud.
♢♢♢
After my gods awful bath, Royal and I spent a while talking. We talked about a lot of things. He told me about his parents, his pig of a cousin. He told me about school, and how it's going for him. Royal tells me he wants to be an astrologer. I ask him why, he says, "There is so much we don't know about space, I want to be the one to figure it out. I want to get to know the stars."
My heart contracts. He might as well be talking about me, figuring me out. I give him a smile and kiss him sweetly. His stomach growls. He places a hand over it and frowns. I kiss his temple and hop off our bed. I throw back on my cloak and boots and extend my hand to him. "Come on, let's get you some food." He grins and takes my hand. I grab my money pouch before we leave our room and my sword－Nightingale－I attach it to my side and lead Royal out of our room. We decide we should go and invite Shann and Clem as well, they're probably starved. We knock on the door and invite them out for dinner.
We manage to find a tavern for dinner—Leaky Tim's—I do not want to know why Tim is leaky. I just hope to the gods the food is good. I've been living off of fish for a week. I could use a proper meal. The tavern is somewhat packed, there are a handful of Loadshinians in here. Eating their dinners.
A barmaid leads us to a private booth once I flip her a gold coin. We all shuffle in. Clem and Shann sit together and Royal with me. He drapes his arm across my shoulders and tucks me into his side. Shann raises a sceptical brow at us, I kick him hard in the shins. He yelps. We order our food and slip into easy discussion. Telling stories, making jokes. It's nice. I can't remember the last time I've done this. Talked so easily.
"I'm telling you the truth!" Shann protests. I tilt my head back and laugh. "I kicked the Elf in the nose!"
I lean forward, still chuckling, "If that's what you tell yourself, Shann."
Shann scowls at me, I chuckle again and lean back against the booth. Royal's arm is now at my waist, it's draped lazily on my hip. I lean on his shoulder. "I believe you," Clem says loyally, Shann grins from ear to ear and drops a wet kiss on her cheek. She yelps and rubs it off her cheek. We all laugh again. I stare at them all contently.
It feels right, sitting here with them. We feel like a very dysfunctional family. But what family isn't?
"What are we doing tomorrow?" Clem asks us, I sigh, feeling my mood instantly drop. "Tomorrow, we're hunting down Eden."
"How?"
I scan the tavern, looking for any prying ears or eyes. "My wolves," I say, turning back to her. Her face lights up at the mention of them.
"Is that how you've always done it?" Shann asks, I grab my water and take a sip, while raising a skeptical brow. "Using your wolves, I mean. When Minette needed you to find people, did you always use them?"
I shake my head, "No, I was always too scared to use them. I did it the old fashion way." I say grinning, "Torture." Clementine's throat bobs.
I laugh, "I'm joking, Clem." She sighs in relief, "I'm very good at tracking, I used to live in the woods with my mother before she died, she taught us how to haunt, I was always good at it." I finish with a shrug.
"I wish I could hunt," Clem says.
"We can teach you," Royal offers, I look up to him. "You can hunt?"
A sly grin, "You do realize I am still technically one of Minette's Bastards right?" I flick his nose and turn away back to Shann and Clem. Royal dips his head and presses a feather-light kiss to my throat. I can feel him smile against my skin. I lean into his kiss. Shann gags. I kick him under the table again. He curses me to hell and rubs his hurt shins. Royal pulls back and chuckles. I frown, already missing his lips on my skin.
Shann starts asking questions about Clem's life before she met us. He asks her probably every question in the book. I should be listening, I know I should, but something catches my eye. A hooded figure sitting in a booth all alone. He's holding a tall brown mug in his hands. His thumb slides up and down it. In the light I can see a ring on his thumb. It's familiar . . . I squint at it. It's a large gold band, I can make out some white swirls on the band. They seem to wrap around the ring. Then at the center is an orange jewel. It isn't a bright orange, it's more of a sunset colour. It reminds me of . . . hell no. What the fuck is he doing here? If one of them is here that means . . . I slide out from the booth. Everyone gives me curious looks. I paste a smile on my face.
"I'll be back."
"Everything okay?" Royal asks, concerned. His eyes are full of questions. I smile and nod my head, "Yup, just going to the bathroom." And with that I turn on my heel and weave my way through the tavern.
I know he'll follow me. I know he will, now I just have to find some sort of alley to hide in. So I can skin him alive and no one will come charging after us. I find a backdoor near the washrooms. Perfect. I slip out and wander through the back of the tavern until I find an alley. It's relatively closed off. No one seems to be lurking around. It'll have to do. I lean against the wall and wait. I pull out the dagger in my boot and begin to pick out all the dirt under them. Ugh. When we get back to Marelli, I am taking a mental health day to clean myself up.
Not even a minute later, he's here. He's just how I remembered him. Tall, pale freckled. Burning gold eyes, twins to . . .
"Hello, Ember."
"Hello, Landon." I drawl, still cleaning my nails.
He crosses his arms over his chest and grins, "It's been awhile."
"Indeed."
"Last time I saw you," he says, walking closer to me, "was that day we all snuck into that theatre. Kam was so upset, he didn't want to get in trouble or cause a scene. You and I forced him to come anyways, and we watched 'Oh Lady, Fair'. I think that was one of my favourite productions we went and watched." He finishes with a grin. I inwardly smile at the memory. We had so much fun that day. Kam was being a big baby as usual, but Landon and I convinced him to live a little. It was a great day.
I stare blankly at him. I know I shouldn't be cold to him, but he's a reminder of Kam. The guy I thought liked me. The guy I thought could help me get over Lokas. I opened my heart to him. And, he stomped on it. "Don't look at me like that, I didn't tell him to end it with you." He scoffs, Landon walks up to beside me and leans on the wall. He pushes his hood from off his head. His midnight hair is longer than the last time I saw him. His pointed ears are nearly hidden from beneath his hair.
"He's here?" I ask, getting right down to business. Landon isn't here to talk to his old friend, he's here for Kam. The bastard couldn't come and find me himself. He sent his lackey instead. Landon sighs, "Yeah, he wants to talk to you." I laugh, humorlessly. "Of course he does,"
"He's been looking for you since you left, Ember." Landon says.
I look at him sidelong, "Why?"
He glances at me, "You know why."
His gold eyes meet mine. I sigh, I do know why he's here. He's going to make some stupid ass apology and try to make amends. But I don't want to make amends. I want to be as far from him as possible.
I push off the wall and start heading back, "If he wants to talk to me, he should've come himself."
I storm away, I get to the door back to the tavern when Landon calls: "He knows where Eden is." I whip around, what did he just say?
"How-"
"He's willing to help you, if you meet him. Tonight."
"Where?"
"Here, after closing."
I nod, I don't doubt that Landon is telling the truth. He wouldn't have brought it up if he wasn't. Landon's also a good person, he wouldn't lie to me. Well, I hope he won't. "It was good to see you, Ember." I don't say anything, I stare at him for a moment, then head back inside. Weaving through all the bodies of people and back to the booth. I slide back in and Royal's arm instantly snakes around my waist. He kisses my temple and searches my face. His brows are pinched together. Concern all over his features. "What?" I ask.
He shakes his head, "Nothing, you were just gone awhile."
I kiss his cheek, "Sorry, the line to the bathroom was long."
He narrows his eyes a bit, sensing my lie. Damn him. I turn away from him before he can press me any further.
Dinner resumes and no one asks me any questions, thank the gods. Eventually we all head back to the Inn. Royal flops on the bed with a groan. "I don't think I've ever been this full before." He grunts into the bed.
I shuck off my boots and cloak and lay down beside him. I prop myself up on my elbows and finger comb his hair. He leans into me, pressing his left side into my right side. "Leaky Tim knows how to fill his guests, I suppose."
Royal snorts, "Or he's really good at making them leak."
I yelp and push his shoulder, "Ach, why would you say that. I'm going to be terrified now, thank you for that." He lifts his head up and smirks, he leans in and presses his lips to mine. "We'll take turns using the bathroom tonight."
I shudder, Royal laughs and wraps his left arm around my back. "Where'd you go earlier?"
I sigh, I thought he let it go. I should've known better. "I saw someone from my past, someone I hadn't seen in awhile."
He arches a brow, "A friend, or I guess not anymore." I say with a shrug. Royal dips his head and kisses my throat. "I'm meeting him later tonight." Royal whips his head up, shock running through his beautiful face.
I roll my eyes, "Just to talk, we left on bad terms, he asked me to hear him out. I said I would." Liar, such sweet lies. I hope they're good enough to fool Royal though. Royal eyes me warily. "What time?"
"When the tavern closes. We're meeting there."
"Ember-"
"I know, I know. It's risky, but I'll be okay. He won't do anything to me. I'll be alright."
"I don't like this, it's risky being here in Lodashine. But being completely alone? That's even worse-" I silence him with a kiss. "I'll be fine, I promise."
Royal leans his head on my shoulder. I cradle his head and run my fingers through his hair. "Please be careful." He whispers onto me.
I kiss his hair. "Always,"
"I'll stay up and wait-"
"No, I need you to sleep. It's better when we're all well rested. I'll only be gone an hour." I say.
He grunts on my shoulder. "You need sleep too."
"I'll get sleep when I come back. I promise." I say, while playing with his golden curls.
He raises his head and nods. He then hops off the bed and strides into the bathroom. He closes the door behind and I can hear the water running, I lay back on the bed. My head is spinning. I'm going to see Kam tonight. Kam. Gods help me. I don't know if I can face him. Hopefully, I can bash his head in. I smile at the beautiful thought.
Kam was my first "relationship". We were together for a couple of months, and then he broke up with me. He said he couldn't be with someone like me. He was another person to help break my soul. He was added to the very long list of people who I let get past my guard. I really hope I don't have to add Royal to that list. I really really hope I never have too.
A little while later Royal comes out smelling fresh and clean. He's in a grey shirt and black sweatpants. He pads through our room－barefoot－while towel drying his wet curls. He chucks the towel back in the bathroom and slumps back onto the bed. Pulling me with him. He gets under the covers and tucks me into his side. I nestle into him. I can't fall asleep, but I can stay here with him until I have to go.
Royal kisses me, it's long and sweet. It lingers on my lips long after he pulls away. "Good night, Emmy." I suck my teeth. He chuckles, it rumbles through his body. "Good night, princess." I say dryly. He chuckles again. I curl into him and watch as his body moves up and down. I watch his even breathing. I watch the way his face relaxes when sleep finally takes him. How peaceful and beautiful he looks.
I reach my head up and kiss his cheek, the only good-bye I can give him without waking him up. I peel myself out of bed and pad over to my boots and cloak. I pull them both on and secure my weapons. Making sure to not make any noise. When everything's secure, I head for the door. I glance back at Royal once and smile, before gently opening the wooden door and striding out. I make sure to close and lock the door behind me.
Gods, give me the strength to not murder Kam the minute I see him.
***
A/N: I'm trying to write as much as possible, I apologize if it takes me awhile! Also i post updates for my book on my tiktok(missus.meg) and post when I'm posting. If you want updates you should follow me :)