Lights out.
Silent breathing.
Stuttering curtains.
There, in-between four walls, away from the walk-in closet, an old clock ticked.
On an old rug, next to a scattered bed, I lay flat.
Beneath a dim bulb.
On a white page stained in black ink.
My fingers slid over the paragraph I loved most.
"In most fictional worlds, it's a truth universally that; the wrong bride might just be the right one in most cases, and believing in it is key."
Hot days and crying nights.
Boring weeks and cold mornings.
No matter the distance between us, Dwain stole my focus.
He was omnipresent.
Wasn't one month enough to forget about everything?
Shouldn't it have given me room to move on with my life?
Yet, as days and weeks rolled in, I thought of him each time my mind wandered far enough and got lost.
I picked up my favorite romantic comedy and read its last paragraph.
The last words of this perfectly written book reminded me of one thing.
My life with Horton's family was a mistake.
Later in the day when Dwain popped into my mind, I pictured his happiness and smiled.
At last, his life was back to normal with the girl he loved.
Since his happiness made me happy, it freed me from my selfish feelings.
I snapped out of my thoughts.
Dwain was history.
I stood up, sauntered to my window, and spread my curtains open.
Shading my eyes from the light, I strode to my rug and packed my scattered belongings into a duffle bag.
I removed my bedding, replaced them with clean sheets, and flattened my blanket on the bed.
Did Elisabeth treat Liam well?
I craved to invade him with kisses.
What about Brielle?
Did Elisabeth bring harmony to the Hortons?
I bit my lips.
The last time Elisabeth spoke with me dated back to the night of our swap.
And I'd locked my mobile phone in a drawer to make communication between the two of us impossible.
If I didn't know anything about the Hortons, it would be easier for me to move on and do something useful with my life like finding a job.
I pulled out a chair from my desk and slumped against it.
Puffing deeply, I picked up a newspaper from my desk and glimpsed through the Job offers I highlighted last night, making sure I didn't miss any valuable opportunity.
Once that was out of the way, I held my messed-up hair in a high bun and strolled to my closet.
It was finally the weekend.
I sorted out my dirty clothes, threw them into the laundry hamper, and packed the books that littered my room into a bookshelf.
"Open up bitch!"
I steeled in my tracks at the sudden bang which could render anyone deaf.
Megan was annoying.
I sighed. "I'm busy."
"It's your problem. Sway your dry ass over here and get my clothes. Be fast about it. I don't want to spend the whole day knocking at your door."
"You are the bitch!" I flunked the door open. "This is the last time you'd call me a bitch! Respect yourself!"
I pointed an accusing finger at her but she nudged it out of her face.
"Else what?" She challenged. "Bitch, you shouldn't have raised your voice at me. Don't ever raise your voice at me again. See," she caught my wrist and twisted it. "The next time you do this, I will break your bones and use them to feed the dogs."
"I'm not scared of you."
She pushed me against the wall and grabbed my neck. "Who's the boss?"
"Pathetic," my breathing hastened and there was a throbbing pulse on my forehead. "If you like dive into a cliff and get lost. Go to hell, Bitch!"
She breathed on my neck and sunk her nails into my skin.
"Listen to me, Ellis! You will bend right there," she gestured with her free hand, "grab the hamper and go do my laundry. Be fast about it."
"Shut up! Lazy fellow!"
I battled out of her grip and thrust her to the floor. "Ask Felicia to do your laundry. She's the only maid you have in this house. Have you heard?"
Her eyes contorted with shock.
I kicked the hamper and her clothes spilled in the hallway. "Serves you right."
I swirled on my heels to leave but my hair was yanked by a firm grip.
Megan hurriedly plucked my hair to my back and smiled widely as pain stretched to my arms.
I screamed."Let go of me."
"Little idiot. Any more words from that loose mouth of yours and you will be six feet down in no time."
My blood boiled, pulsing harshly through my fisted knuckles.
"I dare you to try it, just try me."
She waged me over and tackled me onto the floor. "Will you do what I say or not?"
"Never!" I hissed. "Not even in my grave. Miserable loser."
My words irritated Megan.
She tugged my hair till my scalp almost left my skull while I cried for help. "Is this what you want?"
"I want your burial."
Her body pressed me on the floor while my legs hooked in between hers.
"Since you want violence, deal with it. I hope you like the pain. If you want to scream louder than a horse, just tell me. I will be generous to grant you a last wish before you die. Idiot!"
"You are a bloody bitch!" I choked on air as she fastened a hand around my neck, desperately trying to suffocate me. "If you don't kill me, I will be the one to nail a poster for your funeral."
"You will do my laundry."
"Says who?"
"Your ugliest nightmare," she snorted and lowered her face to mine. "And you have no choice but to be a maid."
I faked a laugh and spat on her face.
"Don't say I didn't warn you, Ellis."
She shouted at the top of her voice, threw herself on clothes, and rolled into the corridor none stop.
I didn't comprehend what she was doing until I heard a fierce voice.
"Ellis! What has come over you?"
A pitch, as acidic as limes and as stern as a whip thundered in full rage.
Felicia rushed passed me and kneeled close to Megan. "What happened?"
Megan gave me a sarcastic glare, pretending to be the victim of domestic violence and abuse.
"Ellis kicked my stomach and shoved me to the floor, accusing me of theft."
I noticed that Felicia's hands were twitching.
It meant danger.
I took a step back and nodded. "You are lying. That's not what happened."
Megan wailed even louder than before and tears spewed everywhere.
"I didn't do anything. Stop faking it."
Felicia furiously stood up.
She held my stare in hers.
Her black hair fell to her shoulder in waves as she flared her British nose.
"Megan is lying." I shifted backward as I foresaw her next move. "Please just listen to me, please believe me."
"Little ungrateful child." She caught up with me and connected her palm with my cheek. "Who raised you?"
"Mum," my jaw almost dropped to the tiles. "You slapped me?"
She placed her hands around her waist, impatiently tapping her foot on the floor. "So, what?"
I rubbed my burning cheek. "You slapped me without allowing me to justify myself? Mum?"
"Do you want to return the slap?"
I didn't respond.
She looked me dead in the eyes and pointed a finger at my face. "I have always regretted giving birth to you. How could you be this wicked and heartless with your sister?"
As she scolded me, Megan rose from the heap of clothes and stood behind her. "She equally called you a maid."
If the slap Felicia gave me hadn't taken my sight away from me, she would have plucked my eyeballs.
"Your father must hear this. I've had enough of your insolence in this house. I won't tolerate a rebel under my roof. What do you think you are?"
"Mum," I fumbled with my words, looking as pale as a fish. "Megan bullied me into doing her laundry. Isn't she big enough to wash her clothes?"
"Keep your dirty mouth shut." She smacked my cheek again. "Megan is your sister, why won't you wash her clothes?"
Why didn't she hear me out?
"Megan degraded me," I retorted. "She came knocking at my door to have you scold me. She knew that I won't comply with her tirades. Everything was planned. She plotted everything."
"Go wash her clothes and get breakfast ready." Felicia waved a dismissive hand at me. "At least, she passed her entrance exam into the college of Art. What did you pass?"
She used my failure to ridicule me.
"Why are you always comparing the college of Art with Medical school?"
I nibbled my lips while withholding tears. "Are you expecting me to be a nanny to Megan because I didn't go to college?"
She shrieked. "You sit around and complain but you can't do anything productive."
I'd lost it.
I lost my composure.
I lost it when she made that passive-aggressive statement.
"Why do you always rejoice in my ruin, Mum? You know what?"
She rolled her eyes. "What?!"
Tears ran down my cheeks. "Why don't you wash Megan's clothes? Isn't she the perfect daughter?"
"Ellis, don't raise your voice at me!"
I faked a laugh. "I'm out of here."
"If you walk out of me, I will make your life miserable." She rushed after me like a psychopath and barked as a dog will do. "Come back here."
"Why should I come back?"
She shouted. "How dare you challenge my authority?"
I turned to confront her. "You will always prefer Megan over me in all situations. You make me feel like an outcast all the time and I begin to wonder if at all you are my mother."
She halted in her tracks.
"Only an evil daughter who doesn't like to be told she is wrong will think such an atrocity. Why don't you like being corrected?"
I squinted my eyes. "Which wrongdoings are you referring to?"
"You are always wrong, so how do you expect me to encourage you with such a nasty attitude, huh?"
I debated raising a finger to point out her hypocrisy. "You say I'm wrong but there's nothing to back up the claims."
"See," Felicia's brows knotted. "You are ungrateful. You are a rebel. You are a bully. And Your father must do something about your arrogance. Yes, I can't keep you under my roof like this. I'll tell him all the things you have done behind his back."
She was playing the victim and must have schemed with Megan to put me in trouble when Stephen gets back.
I couldn't stay quiet.
"You have insulted me enough. Go on. Tell him. If it weren't for the fact that you are my mother, God knows what I would have done to you."
I hurried to my room and banged the door. "I hate all of you."
I leaned against the door and slipped to the ground with my head in between my palms.
Felicia had never believed me.
Not once had she ever acknowledged any of my actions.
After all, I was always wrong.
The slaps she gave me kept hurting my cheek and no matter how I tried to brush it off my mind, it persisted.
I had to leave this house before things got out of hand.
Heaving a deep sigh, I pushed myself up and wiped my tears.
I cleaned my room as fast as I could.
Moving the last pile of medical textbooks books from under my bed, I placed them on my coffee table.
I grinned at a silly memory.
I'd stayed up for nights last week, stressing over whether to rewrite the medical entrance exam or not.
The more I thought about it, the more questions assaulted me.
What if medicine wasn't my call?
Shouldn't I have done something else in another field?
Intimidating questions kept popping up out of nowhere, but thank God for the book Jana gifted me.
It reminded me of my purpose and why I couldn't give up.
I'd made a promise to Evelyn on her dying bed and I had to full fill it.
Jana's book had stayed on my bookshelf for ages, aging with dust and bugs, yet last week, I read it.
"The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho."
I removed it from my bookshelf and flipped through its pages.
One sticky note caught my attention.
It read thus; there is only one truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do when you want something, it's because that desire originated from the soul of the universe.
I skimmed through the book and sniffed its glorious pages.
Since the desire originated from the soul of the universe, it meant that; the universe and all its special forces will conspire and grant my heart's desire.
I didn't have to let go of my dream, for the universe wasn't against me even though my parents had lost hope in me right from birth.
I didn't have to let one failure kill my dream.
I had to keep trying till I succeeded.
This was my pathway to cardiovascular surgery.
No one could stop me.
I gulped, smirking at the memory.
Santiago the main protagonist of the story asked a very important question and to date, his question curled a nerve in my brain.
I shuffled through a couple of pages and found the text I had highlighted in pink.
"What is the world's greatest lie?" the little boy asked.
The old man replied, "It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie."
I hugged the book and clutched my eyes.
These words were lacking puzzles in my life.
I didn't have to give up on following my dreams and making the right decisions for myself.
The old man in the Alchemist was right.
If I'd allowed fate to play around with my life, I won't have granted Dwain his happiness.
I would have been caught up in his mansion, lying to him and his family because of selfishness.
I took out a brown envelope from one of my drawers and memorized Dwain's calligraphy before removing the pictures which were inside.
These were the only memories I brought from Horton's mansion; the snapshots of us back in New York.
Dwain and I looked nice in each other's arms.
I thought of the slap I gave him that night.
These pictures made me loosen my bottled-up emotions.
I clutched the pictures to my chest and returned them to my drawer.
"The Alchemist," this book gave me the zeal to travel around the world and get accomplished.
But first just like Santiago at the beginning of the book; I had to seize my independence from my parents and get accomplished.
I returned the book to my shelf and carried my hamper to the laundry room downstairs.
I emptied it into the washer, took out the trash from the front porch, and dumped it in a dumpster down our street.
Back in the kitchen; I washed the dirty dishes, made breakfasts, and ran to my room for a long refreshing bath.
THE BREAKFAST PASSED HOURS ago, yet Felicia didn't leave for work today.
She stayed in the sitting room and worked from home.
Meanwhile, I closed myself in my room and spent the day studying.
I snooped through my window on many occasions to watch what was happening on the streets whenever I got bored.
This was the only way to avoid Megan and Felicia for the longest time possible, but as the day neared its end; the longing to read diminished and I got bored with my textbooks.
I moved my seat away, poured myself a glass of water, and drank it in one gulp.
At 4 p.m. my stomach grumbled.
It was hunger.
I shook my head and walked into my closet for a change of clothes.
I wore a yellow pair of shorts, flung a white tank top over my head, and sprinted out of the room.
"Ellis!"
I halted in my tracks, a slim distance from the kitchen. "What again?"
"Come here."
"But Mum," I sighed and trekked to the white couch where she was seated, typing on her laptop.
What did she want from me?
No matter how I tried to avoid her, she often found a way to scold me.
"Here I am."
"Good," she raised her head from her files and adjusted her laptop on her thighs. "Your father will be back by 7 sharp and he wants to eat something out of routine. You need to prepare a special meal for him."
"Is that all?"
I rolled my eyes out of her sight.
"For now I guess. And one more thing, don't mess with his food."
"Sure, I won't."
I wheezed in relief and left but she shouted my name.
"Ellis."
Did she dream of me last night?
I scowled at her. "What again?"
"Someone is at the door, go open it."
How was I supposed to feed my stomach if she kept ordering me around?
I fumed and clenched my teeth.
"I've heard."
I stormed to the door.
"One minute please."
I unlocked the door and a well-built figure stroke my line of sight.
His hands were tucked into blue jeans which brushed over a cute pair of white sneakers.
His back faced me while his curly long hair descended his neck effortlessly.
His white shirt was pleated above his arm, hugging his muscle to death and exposing his scary tattoos.
He turned around and smiled; that was when I recognized him.
I should have known it was Dylan from the tattoos.
I sighed. "Hey."
"Hi," he greeted. "Is Megan around? I have been trying her number for days now but it's not going through. When it does, she doesn't pick up my calls. Is she fine?"
When he took note of my silence, he moved his hands from his pants and huddled them on his lips.
"You are mad at me right?"
I scrunched my brows. "What are you talking about?"
"I was a coward and it took me this long to present my excuses to you. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" I crossed my arms at my chest and looked at him. "What are you sorry about?"
"The," he pinched the bridge of his nose and pressed his lips into a thin line. "I didn't mean to kiss you that night. I was drunk and I didn't mean all that I said. I should have come to you long ago but I followed my instincts. Please, don't hold a grudge against me."
Oh!
I got it.
Everything clicked at that moment.
Elisabeth told me about the kissing incident and how it brought about a fight between Megan and her.
Surely this was the reason why Megan wasn't picking up his calls.
Also, the trouble she caused this morning was her way of getting back at Elisabeth for kissing Dylan.
Whoa, what if this was her reason for causing trouble and putting the blame on me?
"Let's blame the alcohol," he chuckled at my statement. "Is the kiss the reason why Megan has been ignoring you?"
He touched his forehead and his lips quivered at my question.
"Who are you talking to, Ellis?"
"Dylan Mum."
"Dylan?" She gasped. "Let him in."
"We should talk later," he patted my arm and twitched his brows. "Let me solve this issue with your Mum."
I nodded and he strolled to the sitting room while I retired to the kitchen.
I made a sandwich and devoured it while Dylan talked to Felicia.
Ignoring their conversation, I took out the necessary ingredients for the seasoning of daddy's meal from the fridge and simmered them.
When dinner was ready, I stepped out of the kitchen and set the dining table.
That was when an argument burst out in the sitting room.
Megan exchanged words with Dylan.
"I don't need you in my life. If you like you can dust your feet and walk out of here the way you walked in: I don't care about you and your feelings."
"Fine, you will never see my face again. Goodbye."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"Yes, so what?"
Dylan walked out of her. "It's over."
Megan shouted. "Dylan, come back here, listen to me."
"I have made up my mind. It's over."
"Damn you, Dylan, damn you son of a bitch. It's Ellis you want?"
Glasses shattered and she screamed.
"Screw you Dylan, Screw you, bastard."
She cried out wild enough to alert everyone in our neighborhood.
They dated for two years, yet in the twinkle of an eye, he was gone.
Megan crawled to the mini-bar and drowned herself in all the alcohol at her disposal.
She was on the hunt for someone to blame her misfortune on.
Knowing her so well, I avoided her for the rest of the evening but it didn't last.
At dinner, I sat next to her at the dining table.
She didn't stop weeping while Felicia eyed me with disgust.
"He left because of you," she picked up a table knife and threatened to slice through my throat. "If you didn't kiss him, he won't have left me."
"Baby, drop that knife."
"Mummy, let me be. Ellis has to pay for what she has done to me. Why don't you let me hurt her the way she has hurt me?" She twirled the knife on my neck and jerked it away. "Let's see who plays this game best."
"You are drunk," I tossed the knife out of her hold. "Don't blame me. If you didn't reject him, he wasn't going to leave you."
"Mummy, ask this bitch to seal her lips before," she grabbed a fork and held it tight. "Before I do something deadly to her."
"You two should keep quiet," Felicia hit the table and stood up. "Ellis, you should be ashamed of yourself. Before you open your mouth to say anything: remember the pain you have brought upon this family. What else are you up to? Do you want to destroy my marital home?"
I erupted from my seat. "I'm leaving."
"Who is leaving?"
Tired, two tunes lower than mine, steady and thicker than wood; that voice, I knew it.
I met face-to-face with him.
"You are staying."
His hair was scattered.
The sleeves of his blue shirt wrapped around his arm as his red tie laid loose on his torso.
He held a black jacket over his suitcase; daddy was back from his business trip.
I shivered under his gaze.
"Honey, welcome home. I was worried sick about your flight." Felicia secured her arms around his neck and kissed him. "By the way, dinner is served."
"Ellis, aren't you happy, to see me?"
"Sure, I am." I lowered my gaze and took his suitcase from him. "Daddy, welcome home."
"What of you Megan?"
While he chatted with Felicia downstairs, I took his tie and suitcase to his room.
Why wasn't our family like all other normal families?
I switched the light off in his room and went downstairs.
"I can't eat this sauce, it's too salty."
Dad spat out his food and scraped his lips against a table napkin.
Felicia abandoned her cutlery and braced her hands on the table.
I chewed my lips.
"Ellis prepared your food, " a faint smile faded on her lips. "I told her to control the amount of salt in the sauce, but as usual, she won't listen to me."
"Dad, your food wasn't salty."
I clenched my fist and eyed Felicia.
How come I didn't see through her game?
Megan glanced at me and smiled.
Shit!
It was obvious.
They tampered with Stephen's sauce.
"Is this how you will disgrace this family in your husband's house?"
I went silent and didn't raise my head.
"I'm talking to you, Ellis."
"Daddy, I'm sorry."
"What else do you know? Aren't you sick and tired of making up invalid excuses? 'I'm sorry,' has become your anthem. Go get me something else to eat before I change my mind."
Today wasn't different from other days.
Daddy sided with his wife to scold me over the tiniest of things while Megan ate dinner in harmony.
When will things get better?
How long will they maltreat me?
I tossed bread, made some fruit juice, and carried it alongside scrambled eggs to the dining.
The former silence persisted even longer until Stephen interrupted.
"Before I forget," he cleared his throat and sipped some fruit juice. "I met with an old acquaintance yesterday and we talked about his son."
"Honey, his son? Why would you talk about his son? I thought you were on a business trip?"
"Yes, it was a business trip that didn't stop me from having a drink with old friends." He shifted in his seat and swirled his glass. "As I was saying, we talked about his son who is a very accomplished tycoon with two adorable kids."
"Two kids?"
"Yes, two kids and he is in search of a woman who can take care of his kids while he travels around the world and manage his family business. He asked for my help."
"What did you tell him?"
"To stop searching," he emptied his glass and placed it on the table. "I talked to him about our daughters and he is interested. He has made his choice."
Everyone was petrified.
"Wow, that's amazing. Which of our daughters was lucky?"
Sweat spewed down my face as Felicia asked questions.
Megan wasn't bothered at all about what Stephen was saying.
"Honey, please spell it out, I'm anxious about his choice."
"Well, I have signed a contract with him, " he smirked and held Felicia's hand in his. "He's interested in Ellis. He will visit us this weekend to meet Ellis in person."
"Never, " I stood up and slammed the table. "I won't get married to him."
How could he sell me to a stranger?
Why would dad sell me to a friend's son who already had two kids?
"What nonsense? Don't let me lose my temper with you. You will get married to him and that is final."
"Why must it always be me? Which parent sells his child out like that without her consent? If you are capable of doing this, then how on earth do you label yourself as a Christian? It's never Megan, it's always me. Why?"
"Ellis, keep me out of this."
"Oh! How could I forget? Like father like daughter. You are exactly like them. You people treat me like crap and you expect me to stay quiet?"
I pointed a stern finger at all of them.
"All of you made me regret my existence to the point where I almost took away my life. The only person who felt for me was Evelyn and you refused to pay her hospital bills. You watched her die. You, people, are wicked, cruel, devils from hell."
"Ellis, the earlier you vacate my presence the better. Get into your room this very minute."
"Dad, I won't go anywhere. Whether you like it or not, you will listen to the truth."
"What truth?"
"You hate me. You have never cared about me. You have always discriminated between Megan and me. I get all the insults, the punishments, and the belts while she gets a life full of roses and kisses. I'm a failure and I'm never good enough. Did you adopt me? If you did, tell me."
"You won't talk to any of us like that, silly girl. If you don't leave this minute, you might regret your next words. Ellis, go to your room."
"Or else what? You will lash me with your belt? Or maybe you will break me with your words? Whatever the case, I'm already broken. Since I'm a disappointment, I don't mind disappointing you again. Wed Megan to the man, not me. I'm out of here."
"I will kill you, " Stephen yelled but I was too fast for him to catch me.
"I know why Ellis doesn't want to get married."
Megan's words held me back.
Why was she so sure of herself?
"Daddy, take a look at this article and these pictures."
She handed him an envelope.
My parents crowded around the tabloid and from afar it read; MR. HORTON'S FAKE MARRIAGE IS EXPOSED.
I clamped my mouth.
How did Megan get this tabloid?
This couldn't be happening.
How did she get the envelope?
The pictures, the article, how was I going to explain the article to them?
I fell on the stairs and spread my legs out.
How was I supposed to confront my parents?
Megan had ruined me.
"Elisabeth Dixon? It's not Ellis Blien huh? How dare you wed a man for a six-month contract? Oh lord, so this is what you have been doing every time you escaped this house?! When did you become a stripper?"
I swallowed the lumps in my throat.
"I can explain. Please hear me out first."
Felicia ignored my plea and spanked my cheek.
It sounded so loud that I couldn't support it.
"I'm innocent, please listen to me. Mum, please."
Tears filled my eyes.
"You have stained our family name. Where is the church girl? I thought you were better than this. You are not different from dirt."
"Mum, someone has set this up, please listen to me."
"I won't condone such behavior under my roof. No child of mine gets married without my consent. Ellis, you have brought dishonor to this family."
"Daddy, I'm innocent."
"Is this how we raised you? Look at me when I'm talking to you," he groaned from downstairs. "Of all things, you decided to sell your body for money? I curse the day you were born, shame on you. I curse the day I carried you in my arms. I curse your existence."
"I can explain. You might not believe me, but there is someone that resembles me. I'm not the girl in the picture. Please hear me out let me. . ."
"Shut up, I don't want to hear and as of today, you are no longer a member of this family. I Stephen Blien have disowned you. Go meet your so-called: Mr. Horton."
"Daddy no, please you can't do this to me. Dad, please listen to me," I ran to him and hugged his leg but he kicked me out of his way. "Mum, please say something, tell Daddy to listen to me."
"Don't ever call me your mother. I have stopped being your Mum as of today. Now, get out of my sight."
Megan peered at me with amusement floating in her eyes.
She munched an apple while imitating me.
She took all I had.
How could a father disown his daughter so easily?
Why did he believe that tabloid over my words?
Why didn't he let me explain myself to him?
Why didn't they want my version of the story?
"Why? Megan, why did you have to do this?"
"You took the love of my life from me. Ellis, from this moment, you are a stranger to me. Go to where you belong: the streets."