Never in my entire life did I expect shopping for a baby to be so overwhelming. It was hard, so many things to look for and hundreds of brands each making their products so unique. We spent the entire day shopping because we decided to buy as much as we could today so that any last bits could be ordered in time for baby to arrive.
As tiring as it was, I was loving every second of it. My dream was finally coming true –all my life I've imagined the day where I'd be pushing around a stroller with a blanket hanging out and cute little hands clutching one side. Ehsaan was acting like an excited puppy, picking out clothes and blankets and shoes for our little one, while I was looking at the larger bits like bassinets and carseats.
"Ehsaan, look at this one! It'll match our bedroom perfectly! Just imagine waking up in the middle of the night and picking up our baby for feeds and nappy changes!"
"It's perfect! This is definitely the one we want?"
I nodded, over the moon that we were finally doing this.
We bought our bassinet and cot mattress, and ordered our stroller and carseat. Call us extra, but we were having them specially ordered after trying out many by rolling them around the store, and wanting features from each one.
When we finally left the store and the store attendant helped us load the car, I was ready to drop, a much needed nap beginning to take over me. I was leaning on Ehsaan for support, pulled down from the lack of energy I now had.
When we got home, we put everything still in their boxes and bags into the room that would become the nursery, even though our baby would be sleeping in our room for the first few months.
* * *
It was the next day and we were up early for a morning appointment with my doctor. We made our way to the obstetricians office and took our seats in the waiting room. It was pretty busy considering the time, and me and Ehsaan were passing the time by discussing potential names that we liked depending on whether it was a boy or a girl. We were laughing as we spoke, but I soon had to get up to find a bathroom. Ehsaan helped me up then sat back down as I went over to the bathroom to pee.
On my way back to our seats in the waiting room, I noticed a woman, hunched over the bag on her lap, sobbing. Without thinking twice, I went over and sat on the seat beside her.
"Hello, are you alright?" I asked her.
She looked up, wiping her nose with a tissue and nodding.
"Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe a glass of water?"
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry for crying like this. It's just, I'm terrified!" I rubbed her arm, worried about the woman.
"This is my third pregnancy, the furthest along I've ever been. I've miscarried twice you see. And I had a scare this morning – a bleed. I booked an appointment and they're going to run some tests, but they've already said it isn't looking good. My husband isn't in the country and I just –I don't know what to do! I feel alone and I'm scared and I'm just - I don't think I can go through this again!" My heart shattered for her, tears pricking my eyes as she bawled beside me.
"I am so, so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling." She took my hand and tried to smile, pointing at my belly.
"This your first time?" I nodded and noticed Ehsaan looking for me. I caught his eye and signalled to him that I'd be back soon.
"Here, take my number. I'd love to help you in any way I can." I said and she handed me her phone and I dialled in my mobile number.
"Thanks honey, it would mean so much to me. Take care of yourself and baby!" I quickly hugged her before making my way back over to Ehsaan.
"What was that about?" he asked me.
I took his hand and whispered, "I'll tell you later."
A fear had suddenly ignited in my heart and I silently prayed that what that woman was going through, I would never have to experience.
But did fate have other plans?