Hey there,
One and half year and 106 parts later this is it. The ending.
I have never thought that this story that I started writing because I felt creative and wanted to share with people who might be interested, would turn out a commitment and a free time activity I loved.
The characters I created will be missed; especially Avery, who grew on me for sure.
I would love to thank you all who showed interest, and followed along.
Thanks for all the support, comments what kept me going and gave me inspiration just as the votes and reads!
I'm sure I will be back but now it's time to take some time away from writing. Lets see if I can! :D
Love you all, stay safe and for now enjoy this double part with a beverage ❤️❤️
Love,
K.
A few hours later, I was peacefully riding laps around the barn on the ranch with the horse, Levi, getting ready for a longer walk with him and the trainer, Max; when once I reached the entrance of the barn, Max walked up to me, petting the horse to stop.
"What is it?" I asked, adjusting my helmet.
"Your phone keeps ringing in your purse. It's been several times already, I figured it could be urgent," he smiled as he held up my bag as my phone started to buzz again.
"Oh... alright, I'll get off," I stated as Max held his hand out to keep me in place as I jumped off the horse.
Dusting my pants down, I gave him a smile as I took the bag and grabbing my phone out I saw Jared's name before I picked up.
"Hey!"
"Avery! Finally! Been calling for ages!" he answered with a high voice. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I am. I was on the horse, you know," I smiled and nodding to Max I walked a bit further away on the field. "What's up?"
"I need you to come back home. There's rain in the forecast," he stated simply.
"And?" I frowned, looking around.
Yes, the day was cloudy, but I was more than happy about the fact that I don't have to ride under the hot Sun for once.
"Well. You can't ride a horse in rain."
"Jay, if that would be the case, I would have never started horse riding to begin with. The Highlands are all about rain," I smiled.
"Avery stop talking back!" he growled annoyed and I blinked taken aback. "I don't want you out on a horse, soaking in the rain. They say it can become a storm! And let alone the ground can become muddy, the horse can slip, you can fall... and now it's not only you who you put in danger! I know horses! You have to be very careful!"
I rolled my eyes, rubbing my forehead.
"Honey, are we talking about California rain or tsunami in Japan?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.
"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot!" his voice raised and I was ready to talk back, but after some moments he continued with a much softer voice. "I don't want anything bad happen to you! Please, Avery... Please just come home, okay?"
He sounded so worried, it threw me back from talking back and made me feel uneasy.
"I'll see! Bye Jared."
I sighed loud as I lowered the phone from my ear and looked around; seeing dark clouds approaching from the horizon.
Slowly walking back, I bit my lip, thinking, no way I will just go home because he commanded it, basically.
"Everything's alright?" Max asked as he was getting his horse ready for the walk.
"Yeah, just..." I waved. "Jared... called to warn me about the rain," I rolled my eyes, trying to get back into the riding mindset.
"I bet it will just come and go. It's California," Max smiled.
"Yeah," I nodded.
I was ready to get back on the horse but I just couldn't shake off Jared's words. It was proven not once, and there was no question how highly intuitive Jared was. He let me come to the ranch, and he was also busy, yet he felt the need to ring me up again and again demanding me to go home.
It very well could have been that he is just paranoid but it still did not calm me.
"Max, I... I'm afraid I can't do the walk today," I stated guilty.
"Oh... are you sure? Maybe the clouds won't even get here," he smiled.
"It's just... I'm not sure I am ready to ride if heavy rain is coming," I lied.
Well yes; riding wasn't as much fun in the rain, even though if Jared wouldn't have been so dramatic, I probably would have gone.
"Sure; I understand that. Maybe we can go out on Thursday then," he offered.
"Yeah, that'd be great. And I'm sorry," I pulled a face as I took my helmet off.
"Oh, don't worry," he waved.
"See you Thursday then?" I asked as I grabbed my bag.
"Of course."
Later on, I hummed annoyed as I dragged my riding pants off in the closet, putting on some yoga pants and a top and opened my hair as I walked down the stairs, looking out the big windows as the Sun was peeking through some dark clouds.
"Av! You're home!" Jared sent me a full smile from the bottom of the stairs!
"Indeed," muttering, I rolled my eyes.
Reaching him, Jared waited for me with open arms and I leaned to him not so happy.
"Thank you for returning," he mumbled, kissing into my hair.
"Ya. I'll go do some yoga by the pool. The weather is very nice, you know," I mocked, as I just couldn't help it, making my way towards the back.
"Avery," Jared sighed looking after me. "Can I join?" he shouted as I heard him catching up.
"Sure," I nodded.
And so we did some yoga where I couldn't help but notice how stiff Jared's back is once again, so this time it was my time to be demanding. Demand him to do more starching and less wiggling around on that stupid climbing wall, which of course he did not like.
Not surprisingly, our dynamics were very much off today, so after fifteen minutes of yoga, he went back to his office, while I decided to try and cook something from the ingredients at home when out of the blue the brightest lightning was followed by the loudest thunder.
I jumped as my heart skipped a beat by the sudden surprise as heavy rain hit the windows.
Stepping to the window to inspect the outside, I realized it won't only be a light drizzle. A full on storm was unfolding in just a matter of minutes. Five minutes until everything turned dark and stormy; a very rear sight in California.
I loved storms, I very much missed them ever since I lived here, but now I just couldn't be that happy about it because even though Jared is on the other side of the house, I could see his smug smile appearing on his face just about right now.
Shaking my head, I was just staring out of the window, enjoying the sound of the rain when suddenly two strong arms wrapped around me, and Jared's scent filled my nose as he rested his chin onto my shoulder; his soft hair caressing my face.
"You know I love you," he muttered softly.
I smiled, leaning my face against his.
"I know," I whispered, hugging his arms around. "I love you too."
The next day, as we agreed, we had a nurse coming over with a mobile ultrasound machine, which did confirm that I was about four weeks pregnant, hence me and Jared barely could see anything, even the nurse needed to lean closer to the screen just a bit more to be sure.
Since it was very early stage, there wasn't much she could tell, just to stay hydrated, eat well and don't stress and will see me in a month. Much to Jared's disappointment, who was ready to see the baby already and was asking to get ultrasound every week, which the nurse kindly ditched, saying it is not necessary in this early stage.
And, oh yes, it was early.
The next two weeks Jared constantly reminded me that I am pregnant, otherwise I would have forgotten it.
But as soon as the day came that we were packing for the next day to fly out to England, my first morning sickness had me throw up all the delicious, surely overly syrupy pancakes, Jared had made so eagerly.
It wasn't really a surprise as I had some light symptoms days prior, but still, I hoped to skip all the horrible part.
"Are you gonna be okay on the plane?" Jared asked concerned, as he rubbed my back as I came out of the bathroom the second time.
"I guess... I believe it's also the nervousness." I sighed, rubbing my eyes.
"Well, at least it's a private plane, you can run to the toilet any time," he smiled. "But... if... you don't feel like coming to the premier, I understand. I also understand if you don't wanna come to England at all but your family surely would be mad for dragging them down there," he smiled.
"It's okay. I'll go. Hopefully it will subside by the afternoon," I reassured as I continued packing.
Thankfully, I felt fine by the time we got onto the plane and was more than happy that none the take off nor the landing made me me sick.
We were taken straight to the hotel where we both collapsed onto the bed.
I was woken up at nine in the morning by Jared and although I tried to have some breakfast; it wasn't going too well as I already felt dizzy and nauseous from the moment I got out of bed.
"Sky just messaged that your dress is here and hair and make up guys coming in three hours," Jared stated as he went through his phone, sitting onto the couch. "You think you'll be fine by then?" he asked concerned as I was walking up and down, not wanting to sit down.
"Sure. Yeah, I hope."
"Try to have at least some plain toast," he offered, watching me walking up and down.
"I don't feel hungry," I shook my head.
"What about some fresh orange juice?" he asked.
I thought about its taste and texture and I almost gagged.
"No... no and please don't mention that anymore," I muttered. "I had to run from the dining room not to smell it anymore.
"What? The orange juice?" he frowned.
"Jared!" I whined as chills ran through me.
"God, you're gonna be THAT type of pregnant? Really?" he sighed.
"Excuse me?" I asked stunned. "What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing, just wasn't thinking you would be the whiny pregnant," he shrugged.
"Oh, excuse me that carrying your kid is not all rainbows and butterflies! Do you want to grow it instead? I'd happily put a human into your stomach, right on top of your bladder and we'll see how you act!" I growled as I made my way back to the bedroom defeated.
He can become so bitchy when he is working and suddenly thinking the world revolves around him.
On top of having morning sickness, I was so nervous about the premier, about meeting my Mom and Lynn tomorrow to tell them the news and for some reason I didn't feel comfortable in the hotel now. I very much wished to be home, in my own bed, do my own things.
It only took couple of minutes when Jared stepped into the bedroom, sitting next to me on the bed.
"I'm sorry, Av. I wasn't thinking," he sighed. "You know, I wish I could do all this instead of you. I hate to see you feeling sick every day, and I hate more that I can't possibly help."
"Well, you can start helping by not mocking me. Yeah, it sounds stupid, yeah even I am laughing on myself but just the sheer mention of some things can make me feel like I wanna puke when I feel nauseous," I sighed with a shrug.
"I'm sorry. I really am, but doc says it should suppress at some point. You know I am trying my best to support you. Before... I was just..."
"I know; it's okay," I whispered with a light smile, rubbing his thigh.
"Would you like a massage?" he asked gently.
"Yeah," I breathed.
"Lay down then," he offered as he scooted over.
Slowly laying onto my stomach, I closed my eyes as Jared gently started to massage my lower back, moving more up.
"A bit more gentle, please," I sighed.
He did it more tenderly, but his strong fingers digging into my back, even just a bit, made my stomach flip... in a bad way.
"More gentle... more..." I mumbled trying not to get sick.
"Babe... would you like me to just caress you?" he whispered, pushing the hair out of my face.
"Maybe," I mumbled, hugging the pillow more.
He let a light chuckle as he started caressing my back up and down, deciding to move off the bed and knelt beside it, our eyes met before he leaned in to kiss my forehead.
"Better?"
"Much," I answered, letting my eyes close and listen to the soothing feeling of his hand all over my back.
Thankfully, the premiere went smooth and according to plan.
The pregnancy nausea turned into a stage fright as we were inching closer to the red-carpet, framed with fans, photographers and interviewers.
The Gucci dress I got was truly beautiful. It was a simple black, knee length dress with a slightly lighter tutu making it all look big and floaty. It had a heart shaped neckline; no strings, which gave me the slight anxiety that it's going to just slide off me, even if it was tight and in place.
I thought I looked very good, so that helped with my confidence which I very much needed as we got out of the car, meeting Ryan Gosling right on the edge of the red-carpet.
Jared held my waist tight as he led me through the carpet, guiding me where to look, how to pose, reassuring me that if I feel uncomfortable, I let him know so he can "pass me over" to Sky who was waiting at the theatre's entrance.
We only had to pose for pictures for two minutes before Sky signaled Jared to get to the interviews, so I was free to get out of the spotlight, which was crazy and very much blinding, but I have survived, and taking a glass of water and some deep breaths I was ready to get to my seat.
"You did great out there," Jared whispered into my ear after he joined. "You looked breathtaking; reporters asked about you. I only said that the reason you are here is to visit your family, is that alright?"
"Of course," I smiled as he took my hand into his lap.
"Tricky," he smirked, caressing the engagement ring on my right hand. "It's there but it's not."
"I think it is better if we wait with it for now," I stated.
"I understand," he smiled kissing my hand. "Can't wait to get you out of this dress," he grinned, his gaze wandering down to my raised breasts. "Did they get bigger or it's the dress?"
"I... think they might. They sore all the time."
"Say no more. I'll give special care to them tonight," he muttered before he squeezed my hand as I chuckled.
The next day, as planned we met up for lunch with my Mom and Lynn who arrived earlier that day to London by plane.
Jared made a reservation at a very nice restaurant with many different options so everyone can find something they like.
"It's so great to see you two," Mom smiled after we hugged and we took our seats by the table.
Jared's plan was to tell about the baby during a toast, but I said they will be more than suspicious the second I don't order alcohol so that won't work, but we will see.
"How was the premier? I saw the pictures!" Lynn grinned. "You guys were fucking beautiful!"
"Lynn, watch your mouth!" Mom scolded before she turned to us. "But true. Amazing pictures and I was so relieved reading all the nice comments. Jared finally found a real woman, it read," she grinned proudly, taking my hand as I giggled.
"Indeed," Jared nodded when the waitress approached us.
"Welcome, my name is Joycelyn; I will be your server tonight. Can I get you any drinks?" she asked, looking at Mom first.
"I'll have a glass of dry white," Mom nodded and I looked at her surprised.
She rarely drinks wine.
"What? We are in a fancy restaurant," she looked at me and I chuckled nodding.
"I'll have a mojito to start with," Lynn smiled.
"To start with?" Mom narrowed her eyes as Lynn shrugged with a grin.
When the waitress looked at me, I sent a tight smile.
"I'll have your home made lemonade, but with less sugar please," I asked and looking away, I saw Lynn looking at me with a frown.
"I'll have the orange j..." then Jared looked at me then back. "Lemonade as well," he smiled.
I just smiled at him thankfully, caressing his arm.
"Be right back," the waitress nodded and after she left Lynn turned to me.
"Lemonade? Really? Jared you are not a great influence on her," she stated unimpressed.
"Keep it that way!" My Mom nodded. "It's good to have a break from time to time."
I just smiled satisfied, realizing Jared's no alcohol rule could very much be the reason for my choice of drink.
"No! Avery would never say no to alcohol! Not even for Jared!" Lynn started.
I just looked down, peering to Jared, who rubbed my thigh.
"Wait... wait a minute..." Lynn frowned as her mouth dropped open. "Are..."
"So let me see some pictures; we haven't had the time to look at them yet," I offered, looking at Mom, who happily fished out her phone.
I saw Lynn's questioning look as we looked at the pictures, but I decided to ignore it and I sighed happily when the drinks finally arrived and after ordering food it was time to say the toast.
"So I'd like to say a toast to being able to meet again. We didn't have to wait that long this time," I smiled as we held up our drinks. "And there was a big reason we wanted to meet you up while we are here," I breathed. "Two big reasons actually."
"Oh my God," Lynn mumbled.
She knew it. She totally guessed it.
"One is that we have a date for the wedding," I smiled and Mom grinned excited. "The other is that... we wanted to tell you in person that... I'm pregnant. Yey! Cheers!" I forced a smile as I drank from my drink, looking at Lynn and Mom staring back at me startled.
"I knew she wouldn't say no to alcohol for no reason!" Lynn smirked.
"Oh, my Lord, Avery!" My Mom squealed, putting her drink down. "Is this real?"
"It is. We found out two weeks ago."
"That is the best news I could ever get! I'm gonna be a grandmother! Oh, Lord! A wee Avery is on the way!" she put her hands on her face amazed. "Come here you! Come! Come!" she stood up and I went to hug her. "How far along are you?"
"Bit more than six weeks. Very early stage," I nodded.
"You have to be very careful then, darling."
"I know. I am," I smiled as she let me go.
"You guys were planning it or it just slipped in," Lynn grinned as Mom pushed her shoulder.
"Lynn. Manners!"
I chuckled as Jared spoke up.
"We did plan, yes. We thought is is going to take a while but it happened rather fast. That's why we planned to have the wedding in December; we would like to be married by the time the little one arrives."
"These are amazing news!" Mom smiled happily.
"Yeah. The date would be the eighteenth of December. We would love you two to stay for Christmas as well. We could have a big dinner with Jared's family. It's also Jared's and his Mom's birthday at the time so we could have all kinds of celebrations."
"Oh, sounds very good! It's going to be amazing!" Mom grinned.
I smiled happily at Jared who also seemed happy.
Months passed by and everything went according to plan.
Jared was cutting back on work and was very selective when it came to taking on new projects as he was really giving most of his time to me.
Sadly we only could reach Shannon on the phone to tell him the news about the baby right after I was more than three months and the doctor confirmed that the baby is perfectly healthy.
We told Constance right after we arrived back from London and she was crying happy tears on and off for like a whole day; every time she saw me basically. She was so emotional and happy; like she barely could apprehend it. She was living the calm life, getting in terms with the thought that she will never be a grandmother, and now we turned her planned out, calm life upside down, as she put it.
In November, she decided to move to Los Angeles for the time being, to be able to help me out any time of any day which was more than sweet of her and it calmed me down a lot, knowing even if Jared is out for a day or two I know Constance was near.
As the wedding was approaching, I had Evelyn, who I became very good friends with, and Constance coming to try on dresses with me.
I took the chance and only went for wedding dress shopping five days before the day, because my belly was expanding very quickly, and didn't want to worry about weekly readjustments.
I did find a dress rather quickly.
It was a simple, light dress, the top being of lace, with flowers embroidered. It hugged around my curves and only widened below my knees.
I decided not to have a veil, instead my hair will have white little flowers braided into it. The closer the day came the more excited I become.
"So, can I get any sneak peek of the dress?" Jared asked as I climbed into bed next to him, just two days before the wedding.
"Nopp. But I think you'll like it," I smiled as I turned onto my back. "You know, as long as it's not one of those huge, fluffy princess ones, I am loving it," he grinned, closing the book he was reading, resting his hand on my belly.
"I know," I chuckled as I watching him with a smile. "What you reading?" I asked curiously as I peeked behind him. "The road to being a Mom?" I chuckled. "Are you taking on a new role, or you decided the baby's gonna have two Mommies."
"Very funny," he rolled his eyes. "Since you are not interested in reading about pregnancy and giving birth, I am reading it for you so whatever happens, I'll know what to do."
"That's sweet," I smiled caressing his long hair, behind his ear.
"How's the little one today?" he asked rubbing my belly tenderly.
"Very good. I felt very good today, and ate a LOT so I hope the baby takes most of those calories," I rolled my eyes as Jared smirked.
"Of course he is. I had a dream that it's a he. Our little boy," he stated dreamy as he kissed my belly.
"Did you," I asked interested.
"Would you like a boy?" he asked.
"I think I could be a really good boy mom," I grinned.
I loved the thought of having a boy and as Jared said it, I didn't even question him. He is always right with these. If he feels like it is going to be a boy, it will be a boy.
"What about the name Corbin?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Corbin? Never even heard that," I chuckled.
"You have some boy names in your mind?" he looked up to me curiously.
"Hmm... I always loved the name Noel, but your last name kinda ruled that out," I frowned.
"Well, why? It's easy to say at least," he chuckled.
"Or Robin."
"Uh, no way, honey!" he shook his head and I chuckled.
"But IF it turned out to be a girl, what about Sadie?" I asked.
"I love that. Sadie is a sweet name," he smiled.
"You just say that because you are sure it's a boy," I narrowed my eyes as he laughed.
"No, I really like Sadie!"
We were giggling around about different name ideas until we both fell asleep.
We decided to keep my pregnancy away from the media as well, but Jared was still coming up with ideas how to do that without me being locked into the house. Even if the house was big and had everything I'd ever need, still not being able to go out wouldn't really fit with me.
When wedding day came around, Shannon finally showed up with a girl next to him. And that girl was no else than Angelica; his on and off girlfriend of years. They finally decided to give a more serious relationship a chance.
It was great to see him happy and more balanced. Also it was amazing to have him around again.
Mom and Lynn also arrived and got settled into their rooms in the house.
It wasn't only the wedding we were getting ready but also birthdays and Christmas, so Jared's cousin and the twins were spending Christmas at ours as well.
The huge home have never been this lively and full of joy than on those ten days.
The wedding.
The wedding was small and quiet.
We met with Jared at the back of the townhouse, making sure no one sees us.
Both of us got out of our own cars at the same time, seeing each other for the first time in twenty four ours in our wedding attire.
"You look absolutely breathtaking, baby," he whispered as he squeezed my hands, looking me up and down.
"You are handsome as well," I smiled.
He had his hair in a perfect braid at the back, he trimmed his beard back, the black suit and tie was sharp and crisp on his muscles.
"Handsome?" he asked stunned. "When I have a braid that's when I'm handsome?" he laughed, caressing my waist.
"Okay, true... sorry you are bea..."
"No! No, I take it back. Yes, I'm handsome. Finally," he laughed and I did too, as my eyes spotted his fancy Gucci shoes, with lion heads on them.
"Really?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"You said no Gucci suit! You didn't say anything about the shoes," he grinned.
"Fair enough," I laughed. "Look at these," lifting my long dress, my Nike running sneakers peeked out.
Jared chuckled, shaking his head.
"Classy."
"Always," I laughed.
"Ready?" he asked with a wide smile as he held his hand out for me to take it.
"Ready," I breathed with a nod.
Walking into the hall, there was everyone who ever counted, looking at as with a wide grin as we made our way to the pastor.
We decided on the shortest ceremony possible, with only the key sentences needed to be said. And only the exchange of rings and the "I do's"
And when Jared said "I do", and I saw tears shining in his eyes, that's when I lost it, and just started sobbing, barely able to say my "I do" out loud.
"Hey... it's okay, just breath, I swear it won't be that bad of a marriage," Jared reassured, rubbing my tears away with both hands as I laughed along with the others.
"Now you may kiss the bride," the pastor said as Jared pulled me close, hugging me protectively as he kissed my lips long and gentle, his hand caressing through my belly.
"To our beautiful family," he whispered, caressing my hair. "I love you so much Avery Elizabeth Leto."
I smiled, biting my lips.
"I love you so very much, too!"
"And now, let me introduce you to our newly wed; Mister and Misses Leto!"
There was a stand up applause as we turned towards them hand in hand before everyone came up to give us hugs and congratulate.
Jared rented a farmhouse close to where I have my horse riding classes, saying this would be a great place to party away from everyone and everything.
We had a great time, the house was a beautiful, one story house with a huge farm and a barn.
"How you like this place?" he asked as he hugged me from behind, rubbing my belly.
"It's beautiful. And also love the party. We have to thank Sky somehow," I smiled as I looked back just to see Sky and Lynn having the time of their life together. "They will be inseparable if Lynn gets to be on exchange here.
"Yeah yeah, but the house. Should have a horse around as well?" he asked.
"What? Like now?" I chuckled.
"No. I bought the house. Happy anniversary, baby," he whispered simply as he kissed into my neck.
"What?" I asked, turning to him shocked. "You didn't!"
"Just imagine. We could be here while you are pregnant, I even let you ride a horse for another month, but strictly with me around," he stated firm. "Here no one sees us; we can be free."
"Jay that... that would be perfect," I breathed stunned. "I didn't... get you anything for the anniversary but even if I would have... it would never top this off!"
"You are giving me the best gift I can ever have," he smiled, leaning down to kiss my belly. "The least I can do is to offer you the best environment possible."
"You're too good to me, Jared," I sighed, hugging him strong in tears.
"Now that could be true, but will never be as good as you were to me the past years."
We just got out of the wedding haze when Christmas, filled with birthdays came around, and being back into the now called, "main house" with everyone else, we had the best holidays ever. I have never felt better. Pregnancy got easier for this time and I felt like Our family is strong. We had a strong bond with the big family and finally it all seemed so together, so perfect.
Months passed by quickly after the new year approached and Jared slowly gave me tasks as his new PR manager. It was fun working with him again full time, even though we had to make everyone who I had to have a meeting with sign an NDA to make sure my pregnancy won't get out.
Oh, and of course Jared was right. We are having a son, and no, the name is not decided yet; we want to see him and then we surely will know what's his name going to be.
Other times, I was mostly at the ranch, caring for a horse Jared bought me as a "wedding gift."
He really was a sneaky one, having a reason for everything he got me and I am not going to lie, I started to get used to being showered with gifts, care and all the kisses.
The last month of my pregnancy was something straight out of hell. I barely could move around, my body was aching non stop and the nervousness of soon giving birth was fogging my brain.
I couldn't sleep most nights, and resting was hard work as well. I was getting out of bed at least three times every night to just walk around or have a drink or a snack, which made Jared not getting much sleep either, but he never complained and usually was with me, trying to help out.
My due date was in one week, but the last two nights I was extremely restless, and many times I ended up crying in frustration, hating everything, and letting it all out on poor Jared, cursing him every other hour for doing this to me.
"I hate you so much," I cried into his chest as I laid with my leg up on his waist as this was the only position what was somewhat comfortable and didn't include the pregnancy pillow which was really a lifesaver.
"I know," he mumbled tired as he rubbed my back and sides. "It's not long anymore; I swear it will all be fine," he reassured for the thousand time this past week.
I fell into a light sleep by his comforting, but when I opened my eyes back, it felt like I only closed them minutes ago.
I felt my bladder crushing, and I whined as I dragged myself up into a sitting position, just to push myself up to stand when a sharp pain ran through my body.
"Fuck..." I growled as I grabbed my waist, waddling into the bathroom for the sweet release.
"Pregnancy is beautiful they said..." I muttered to myself as I walked back out but in the doorway to our bedroom it felt like I just fucking peed myself.
"What the..." I looked down and that's when it hit me. "Noh... no no no... I'm not... I'm not ready... Jared!" I shouted with trembling voice holding my belly which felt very tense and hard.
"Jay... Jay wake up," I mumbled, holding onto the doorframe.
"Uhmm..." he made some noise as he turned his head away. "Come back to bed," he muttered.
"No, Jared, it's happening!"
When he didn't answer, and another jolt of pain started to spread, I cried out.
"Jared, my water broke!" I whined.
"I'll fix it in the morning..." he mumbled into the pillow.
I growled frustrated.
"The baby is coming, you idiot!" I screamed out of patience and in that moment Jared sat up in a millisecond.
"Oh my God! Oh my God, Avery!" he shoot up, hurrying to me, holding me tight. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, this time I am fucking sure, Jared, let's go, this is so painful!" I cried out, squeezing his hand.
Yes, I might have had false alarms the past few days because I was so nervous.
"Okay... okay no worries, deep breath, just like we practiced okay?" he asked as he let me go. "We have the bag here, your coat. And we are done. Everything is fine," he stated calmly as he walked back to me with the bag on his shoulder, putting the coat around me.
"Can... can you walk?" he asked.
We were staying at the main home, in one of the ground floor bedrooms as I wasn't able to take that many stairs the past weeks.
"No. No I can't..." I stated feeling like I am going to collapse any time.
"Okay, come here," he stated as he lifted me into his arms walking.
"Jared, your back," I whined.
"Don't care about me now," he mumbled as he hurried out with me, putting me down in front of the car, helping me sit in.
I took a few deep breaths as I settled in, but I felt more and more uncomfortable by the minute.
"Jared... this is..." I cried out again as the pains got more and more frequent. "Hurry!"
"I'm going as fast as I can," he stated. "Hold on, just breath."
"I feel like I need to push!"
"Wow, what? Noh, no, darling, no, just ten minutes; you can do it!"
"Jared you can't say what I can do until you don't feel a kid crawling in your insides!" I hissed, holding my belly. "Fucking hell..." I moaned, trying to breath.
"Okay, okay look... Just hold my hand, squeeze it, we gonna breath together, okay?
I nodded as I grabbed his hand, and he hissed in pain as I squeezed it so hard when the contraction hit its peek.
"Oh, sorry, does that hurt?" I asked mockingly and I saw him rolling his eyes.
"You know I cannot wait until that baby is out of you," he muttered, but I couldn't answer as I was too preoccupied with all the pain and the urge to just push.
"We are here!" he stated as he ran to help me out.
We were at the back parking lot at the hospital where a nurse with a wheelchair was waiting already.
"Thank God," I breathed as I sat down.
They quickly changed me into the hospital gown, and laid me onto the bed.
"Ma'am, I don't think we have time for epidural. You are ready to push like ten minutes ago," she smiled up to me as I threw my head back onto the pillow.
"Oh God, he is coming, baby," Jared smiled and everyone seemed so happy while I was literally on my dying bed.
Another wave of pain hit me and I cried out.
"Avery, welcome; it's the big day isn't it?" Samantha, my doctor walked in, also happy. "This baby very much wants to meet you; he is a bit early but that is no problem," she smiled. "And I heard you are ready to push. Little impatient baby is coming right up," she chuckled. "No warning, just decided to come right out."
"Wonder who he got it from," I muttered peering at Jared who stood there proudly, smiling at me wide.
"He is soon here," he whispered and I gulped.
"Okay with the next contraction you can help him and push as hard as you can, alright?"
I nodded and grabbed Jared's hand.
You can help her by hugging her around, keep her in place," the doctor instructed Jared, who did as was told.
"Now Avery, now!" she urged and I pushed as hard as I could but then I stopped immediatelly as it felt like I am tearing apart.
"No... no I can't do this, Jared, I can't do this," I sobbed as I felt my body trembling. "What do I do?!"
"Av, of course you can do it. Just a little push, help him a little. You are strong. Come on, together, come on baby," he muttered, kissing my temple again and again.
The doctor was just saying push while I felt like my insides are turning into mush.
"Concentrate on me. Only on me," Jared's soothing voice filled my ears as I pushed again, just wanting to get through with it until finally I felt the pressure stop.
"He is here! You did it, Avery!" The doctor smiled as I looked up, faintly seeing the shape of the baby as my eyes were fogged with tears and probably sweat.
"Oh my..." I heard Jared breath out.
"You can cut the cord, Jared," the doctor offered and I whined as I felt him leave my side.
But something was off. He was supposed to cry, isn't he?
It was so quiet. Too quiet.
"Why... why isn't he crying? Jared, why isn't he crying?" I sobbed as I felt my heart start to ache like never ever before in my entire life.
"I... I don't..." he mumbled.
"Why?" I screamed pushing myself to sit.
"It's okay, Avery, he is fine and healthy, we are cleaning him up and he will be right with you," the Doctor's soothing voice was heard.
"I want him now! Now, give him back!" I cried hysterically as I felt Jared caressing my head.
"He is just not the crying type I believe," the doctor said but that didn't calm me a bit.
"I want my baby back!" I sobbed.
"Baby, it's okay; let them clean him up, shhh..." Jared muttered, rubbing my arm.
"No," I cried as I felt Jared patting my face with a wet rug while one of the nurses was still cleaning me up which hurt like hell.
"He is here, Momma; don't you worry. A beautiful baby boy," the nurse smiled and my heart fluttered again as I saw the tiny naked, wrinkly bundle of joy. "There you go," she whispered as she lowered him onto my chest. "Careful witht he head."
He barely had any weight.
I wrapped my arms around him, laying my palm onto his little head and turning my head, I saw him opening his big eyes, looking straight to Jared, his tiny tongue sticking out for a second.
"Oh my God," I whispered. "Hey beautiful. It's so good to see you," I cried.
"He is amazing, Avery. He is beautiful. You did a great job," Jared whispered as he caressed his back. "So tiny, oh Jesus," he smiled as his tears fell and I looked at him with a smile, although my body was aching, the peace I felt was a bless as I felt the baby's tiny breaths on my chest.
"I did it," I grinned.
"You did it. You did more then well," he smiled.
I smiled at him as I leaned my face onto his little head breathing in his scent.
"He has tiny hair," Jared smiled, caressing his head which was patterned with small, soft lightbrown hair.
"Yeah... would you... like to hold him?" I asked.
"Was it really a question?" he asked excited as he ever so gently took the baby and I watched his every move concerned, already missing the baby's warmth.
"Hey baby, I'm your daddy," he smiled, tenderly kissing his face as the baby whined a little.
"Let's wrap him up," the doctor suggested and I watched them take the baby to give him a diaper and wrap him into a blanket before they gave it back to me.
I watched the baby slowly closing his eyes more and more often, resting on my chest.
"He has your beautiful eyes," I whispered as I tried to caress him as tenderly as possible. "You know Jay, he looks like a Corbin," I smiled.
"You think so too?" he asked happily and I nodded as Jared gave a long kiss onto my forehead.
"My two loves of my life," he smiled, caressing my forehead and I kissed his arm when a knock on the door was heard.
"Can we come in, please?" Shannon whined excited and we laughed.
"Yes, come, come!"
Shannon, Constance and my Mom, who arrived just yesterday for my last week, came in excited and happy.
"Family, let me introduce you to this little precious beauty," Jared smiled as he took the baby from me. "Corbin Leto."
I watched them gather around, chatting away happily and I smiled wide, tears of happiness running down my flushed cheeks as I rested my head back onto the pillow.
"He is perfect, Avery. How are you?" asked Mom as she sat next to me.
"Never in my life ever better, Mom. I am happy. So so happy," I smiled watching Jared and the baby as they turned to me, Jared having the widest and proudest smile on his face.
There was nothing in the world I wanted more than this; what I have now.