Y/N, Steve, Natasha and a S.H.I.E.L.D strike team were on a plane somewhere over the Indian Ocean being briefed about the mission by Agent Brock Rumlow "The target is a mobile satellite launch platform: The Lemurian Star. They were sending up their last payload when pirates took them, 93 minutes ago." The block haired agent says whilst showing everyone the layout of the ship on small touchscreen.
"Any demands?" Steve asks whilst intently looking at the screen.
Y/N jumps in before anyone can answer as he puts his hand up like an eager child in a classroom making 'ooo' and 'aah' noises "What are you doing?"
"I'm putting my hand up" Y/N's hand then shot down
Y/N then struggled to put his hand back up "You are making us look bad"
The others looked at what was happening as Y/N's arm was rapidly shooting up and down "No I'm not" Y/N argued back
"Yes, you are"
"No I'm not"
"Yes you are, why would you do that?" The symbiote questioned his host.
"Because I'm being polite to give an answer to Steve's question" Y/N argued back however to an outsider's perspective he was talking to thin air, making the S.H.I.E.L.D agents besides Natasha and Steve question his sanity.
"When are you ever polite!?"
"Heyyyyy fuck you, I'm polite when I need to be" He fired back at the alien before turning back to the task at hand, Y/N looked at Rumlow "Is it money? tell me it's money. It better be money."
Rumlow looked at Y/N who was overenthusiastic to say the least "Uhh yeah a billion and a half"
Venom huffed "Classic bad guys"
Steve asked "Why's it so steep?"
Rumlow looked at Cap with a 'seriously' expression "Because it's S.H.I.E.L.D's" he answered matter-of-factly.
A small look of realisation washes across Steve's face and he looks annoyed at what he's figured out "So it's not off-course, it's trespassing."
Natasha tries to defend the organisation "I'm sure they have a good reason."
Steve still looks unconvinced "You know, I'm getting a little tired of being Fury's janitor."
Y/N huffs at Steve's complaining "Yeah you and me both Spangles, I'm not even getting paid for this." Steve glares at him in reply with a 'You're not helping' look.
Natasha shrugs her shoulders and rolls her eyes "You two boys need to relax, it's not that complicated."
The two roommates get their heads back in the game "How many pirates?" Steve asks
Rumlow replies "Twenty-five, top mercs, led by this guy. Georges Batroc." He brings them up a photo of Batroc on the screen.
Rumlow informs them of who he is "Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He's at the top of Interpol's Red Notice. Before the French demobilized him, he had thirty-six kill missions. This guy's got a rep for maximum casualties."
Y/N does a mocking voice "Top Mercs, maximum casualties....... The Fucker's just a bootleg ME!" He throws his hands up in the air.
Venom clears his throat "Bootleg US" He corrects his host.
Everyone ignores Y/N much to his dissatisfaction to continue getting more information on the mission "Hostages?" Steve asks
Rumlow Uh...mostly techs. One officer, Jasper Sitwell. "He pulls up Sitwell's photo on the monitor."
Rumlow looks at everyone "They're in the galley."
Steve has a confused expression on his face as he leans in and whispers to Y/N "What's Sitwell doing on a launch ship?" However Y/N just has an equally confused look, Cap then turns to all the S.H.I.E.L.D agents and gives the orders "Alright, Y/N and I are gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you'll kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to the life-pods, get 'em out. Let's move." Everyone went off to do their final preparations for the mission ahead.
Y/N does a mock salute to his friend "Aye, Aye Captain" he then has a teasing smile on his face "Get it, boat puns" Y/N was internally Impressed with himself as Steve just rolled his eyes at his roommate's usual antics.
"Secure channel seven" Steve ordered as he spoke in his wrist comm before he threw Y/N one as well who slid it onto his wrist.
"Seven secure" Natasha almost instantly replied "You do anything fun Saturday night, Steve?"
"Well all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead....... So no not really" Steve joked but in a serious tone.
"Wait you were in a barbershop quartet, oh we are so harmonising together when we get back" Y/N said as he wrapped his arm around Steve who was now stuttering like crazy trying to take back what he said, Y/N then looked at Natasha disappointedly "And why are you just asking Steve!? what about me?" He asked seeming somewhat offended as he let go of Steve.
"Your definition of fun is a lot different to any normal person, so I really don't want to know" The redhead defended
Y/N scoffed at her reply "Who wants normal!? Embrace your weirdness my friends, makes you so much happier in the long run." He advised Natasha and Steve.
"Words to live by"
The Comms then went off "Rogers, L/N drop is coming up"
Y/N looked excited as he pulled his mask down and then got out from one of the pouches on his suit his phone.
"Seriously, you brought your phone with you. Why?" Steve questioned his friend whilst giving disapproving look.
"DUH, so I have epic music to fight to." Y/N answers giving Steve a dumbass expression as he unknowingly made Natasha smile a little. Y/N then pulled up a song to jump out of the plane to "AHH music from my future movie."
Y/N started dancing and then at around 1:10 into the song with the chorus ending and the second verse beginning, he sauntered over towards Natasha then gently grabbed her wrist and spun her around much to her surprise making her let out a small yelp wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his chin on her shoulder "Um, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back.
Wanna thank your mother for a butt like that.
Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie
If looks could kill you would be an Uzi
Or a shotgun - Bang!"
Natasha listened to Y/N before realising that she was in Y/N's grip for longer than she should've been so as soon as he said 'Bang!' he was met with a sharp elbow to his cheek from the redhead as she removed herself from his arm but it didn't cause his confident persona to falter, he simply danced his way to the open back of the plane as the strong winds came into the aircraft.
Whilst Y/N looked out of the plane, Steve gave Natasha a teasing smirk also noticing she didn't break out of his grip instantly but she just glared at him so that if looks could kill not even Y/N's healing factor could save the Super Soldier.
"You're an embarrassment" Venom said sounding disgusted.
"You sound like my father........ I hated my father"
Y/N looked at Captain America who now had his helmet on and his shield attached to his back "Now Stevie, don't be a pussy and join me in jumping out of the plane parachute-less" Y/N said as he flopped backwards out of the plane.
"GERONIMO!!!!!!!"
Steve turned to face Natasha "I've lived with him for nearly two years and I still don't understand him."
Natasha waved it off "I don't think anyone will ever know how he works but what I know for sure is that if you ask out Kristen from statistics, she'd say yes." She confidently proposed trying to tease the Captain now.
Steve walked out towards the back of the plane without a parachute not preparing to let Y/N show him up "That's why I don't ask?"
"Too shy or too scared?" She teased asking a little louder due to where he was standing.
"Too busy" Steve practically yelled before jumping out of the plane to get to the dropzone but mostly to avoid anymore matchmaking conversations.
Natasha shook her head and bit her bottom lip as she and the Strike team grabbed parachutes and prepared to jump.
"We heard L/N likes to flirt, he always flirt with you like thaf?" Rumlow enquired as he put his parachute.
The spy looked out of the plane into the dark night "Usually" she sighed out.
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Y/N plummeted out of the plane, feeling the wind ripple against his Spandex suit with the music still playing, he challenged Venom "Screaming Contest?"
"You're on"
"AGHGHHGGGHHHH!!!!" Y/N yelled
"RAWWWWWWWHHWWWW!!!" Venom yelled back
"What the fuck was that noise!? Are you an alien or a T-Rex?" Y/N questioned loudly
"Me winning the screaming contest" Venom pridefully said and before Y/N had any time to respond, he hit the water below submerging about ten feet before resurfacing with the music still playing from his phone which Y/N shut off before pocketing his phone back in his pouch.
"How is your phone not broken?"
He started swimming slowly towards the Lemurian Star and said "Two reasons, A - My phone has plot armour and B - We exist in the MCU with Stark's awesome tech so yeah I have a waterproof phone, deal with it bitch."
Just after Y/N stopped speaking he was then hit my a large force right on his head as his body plunged underneath the water once more as he came up to the surface, he saw Steve floating about five feet away from him "What the Fuck Steve!? Did you have to land on my fucking skull!?" He whisper yelled.
Steve did a mocking pout "Don't be a baby, you always recover. Now come on let's get on board." He said swimming towards the ship.
"He's getting to be a little bit cheeky."
Y/N's eyes widened behind his mask "We've created a monster." He dramatically stated before he let Venom take control of his body as he sped through the water towards the back of the ship.
Steve joined him and whispered before they climbed up "I'll take the left side, you take the right side."
Y/N cringed at Steve's words and groaned a little before whispering back "Hmmm we should really use the proper nautical terms. You take port, I'll take starboard."
Steve looked up to the heavens for hope "You're a nuisance you know that?"
"That's probably the nicest way you could put it." The pair then proceeded to climb up the ship.
One Mercenary was patrolling the deck before Y/N hopped up behind him and sweeped out his legs dropping him to the floor before Steve hopped out and smashed in the face with his shield, knocking him out, Y/N then grabbed one of his swords and stabbed it through the downed mercenary's eye socket.
He removed the sword and flicked the eyeball off of the boat which made Venom gasp "What a waste of a good snack."
Y/N ignored the Symbiote and turned to Cap for a fist bump which the Star Spangled Man with a Plan returned, Y/N then looked at Cap "Only best buddies murder mercenaries together."
Steve was in full mission focus mode which meant he didn't joke with Y/N as he had other more important priorities right now "Let's get this done, Y/N"
Steve started walking towards the Port of the ship when Y/N whisper yelled "Can I borrow your shield, if I give you my swords?"
"NO!" Cap angrily whisper yelled back before disappearing out of sight.
Y/N shrugged his shoulders and looked around before having a small little 'Eureka' moment in his head after spotting something else "That's fine, I'll just use this lifebuoy"
He grabbed the lifebuoy and made his way starboard stealthily "Really bitch?"
"Trust me my murderous friend, creepy uncle Y/N knows what he's doing" Y/N saw a mercenary patrolling the deck he gripped tightly onto his lifebuoy and whispered "Maximum Effort"
Y/N then launched the lifebuoy with the device connecting with the back of the mercenary's neck and he stepped forward in surprise when he turned around he saw Venompool running at him with his swords out before he could get fire his gun at him, Venom extended a tendril to grab the lifebuoy and chucked it around the enemy's neck and pulled him towards them before Y/N plunged his swords into his abdomen causing blood to come out of the man's mouth "You sir are the first person I've killed with the aid of a lifebuoy. You're welcome to have that privilege" The man then flopped to the floor, dead.
Y/N put his swords back and picked up the lifebuoy as he stealthily ran across the deck until he came across another Merc, he sneaked up him and kicked his knees out with him falling to the floor face first. Y/N then wrapped the lifebuoy across the man's neck and slammed his foot on his neck with Venompool choking the man out with the lifebuoy, he was dead after about a minute. Y/N smirked "Top Mercs my ass, getting killed by a fucking orange circle. Children would put up a better fight and I would know."
He leaves the lifebuoy and decides to get get some new weapons from the body in front of him.
After about three minutes, Y/N jumped over the railing to the floor below and saw a small group of three mercenaries in close proximity to each other. He used the decapitated head of the previous mercenary and threw it at the skull of middle of the three mercenaries, with there being an audible crack from his cheek as he was knocked backwards to the floor.
Y/N then went up to the other two who tried to engage with Venompool in a fist fight "Not a good idea dickstains" Venompool warned in a sing song voice. The two men flanked him from both sides in order to properly engage him.
"These assholes have clearly never heard of Venompool"
The Merc on Venompool's right attempted to do a chop towards, Venompool easily ducked underneath the attack and delivered a crushing punch to the man's stomach which caused him to heave as he went down to the floor in complete agony, it was almost certain that there was some serious internal injuries "Oops, I think that might be bad for you."
Venom started dramatically panting "SOMEBODY GET A DOCTOR QUICK, THIS MAN WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO ATTACK VENOMPOOL!!!"
The other one then tried to attack him with a quick flurry of punches and kicks however like only Venompool could he dodged all of them with ease before pulling out his other weapon by pulling out the long Femur bone of the pirate that he had previously disposed of and essentially got in some excellent batting practice on this man's skull, absolutely obliterating it with the long thigh bone until there was nothing left at all "And Venompool hits a home run! Venompool's the hero and they've gone and won the World Series!"
The man with the severe internal injuries was still bent over except blood was pouring from his mouth as he groaned as loud as he could however to anyone else's perspective it was barely a whimper due to the energy. Venompool then permanently shut him up by jabbing him with two fingers in his throat causing the man's mouth to open, as his mouth was agape Venompool reached in and grabbed the man's tongue before pulling it straight out of his mouth causing shrieking humming noises of pain from the pirate before he eventually bled out.
Y/N then felt two tendrils coming out of his back before he heard a grunt of discomfort when he turned around to see the mercenary he had thrown his colleague's decapitated head at tried to ring the fire alarm however Venom's tendrils had him pinned to the wall before he could achieve that.
Venom's head came out of Y/N's shoulder as he walked over to the terror-stricken pirate "Big mistake, buddy boy" Venom hissed at him as he licked his face with his lengthy pink tongue, burning the man's face with his acidic saliva.
Just before the man could scream, Y/N slammed his hand over his mouth cancelling out any noise the man was going to make "You know it's unseasonably chilly this time so people are prone to colds" Y/N let out a little chuckle "Except me because Super Duper Healing Factor, however I'm going to help you so you never get another cold again."
Y/N brought his right hand to the man's nose, Y/N and Venom were on the same page as Y/N's gloved hand turned into Venom's clawed hand. He shoved two claws up each of the man's nostrils, he was squirming in agony until Venompool ended his suffering and drove the claws sharply into his brain. Venompool then ripped the front of the man's face off which allowed Venom to tuck right into the man's pink brain tissue.
Venom belched "Delicious"
Y/N then looked at the Klyntar "And you say I am never polite."
"Hey fuck you, that was a scrumptious piece of human flesh and besides.......... Better out than in, I always say." Venom then went back inside of Y/N's body as the pair went off to rendezvous with Steve.
When Venompool ran through the rest of the ship, he saw that Steve was being held at gunpoint by a man yelling orders in French, thinking quickly he grabbed one of his swords and lobbed it at the pirate, it was spinning through the air and unfortunately the handle of the sword hit the man in the forehead before he was gunned down by a silenced pistol shot from an incoming Rumlow.
"Thanks" Steve acknowledged Rumlow.
The black aired agent let out a small smile as he unbuckled himself from his parachute "Yeah, you seemed pretty helpless without me." Natasha and a couple of other agents joined them on deck.
Y/N joined them on deck, Cap looked at him as he handed Y/N his sword back "Nice throw"
Y/N shrugged his shoulders "Ehh I was hoping for the kill but I guess I'll settle for the assist." He said rather dejectedly.
Rumlow and his team went into their positions as Steve walked in the middle of Y/N and Natasha "What about that nurse that lives across the hall from you, she seems kinda nice" The dangerous redhead offered up Steve.
"Kate? She's unbelievably hot, I already told him that I reckon she likes him" Y/N teased the Captain who was still in full focus.
Steve rolled his eyes "Secure the engine room then find me a date" he directed to Natasha.
"I'm multitasking" she said as hopped over the railing to go and complete her task.
Steve and Y/N walked side by side "Take out Batroc together?" He offered Y/N.
Y/N's face lit up behind his mask "Sure, but it seems a little unfair on the French Fuck."
"Do you have to swear so much?" Steve groaned
"Do you have to breathe?" Y/N immediately countered, Steve stayed silent "Exactly!" Y/N said before the pair got into position.
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Y/N and Cap saw that Batroc along with a three other Mercenaries were on the Bridge of the ship behind a glass window. Y/N took cover behind a couple of crates that were on board about twenty feet away from where they were situated.
"On my mark" Cap whispered into his wrist comm as Rumlow's team were ready to kill the pirates that were in the room with the S.H.I.E.L.D hostages.
"3..........2..........1" Rumlow's team quickly killed the pirates that were in the to with the hostages. Meanwhile Batroc and the other Mercenaries on the deck were confused as to why they had lost communication with the now dead pirates.
Within the blink of an eye Cap's shield smashed through the glass window and hit one of the pirates in the skull killing him instantly. Batroc quickly made his escape but the other two were not so lucky as their skulls were penetrated by Y/N's two swords "Why didn't I become an Olympic javelin thrower?" He questioned himself before he hopped onto the deck to grab his swords.
Cap also came onto the deck and retrieved his shield as their Comms went off and Rumlow was on the other end "Hostages en route to extraction. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, fellas. Hostiles are still in play." This raised a little concern as both knew that Natasha was an extremely professional woman and they both feared for her safety especially given Batroc was on the move.
Y/N and Steve both saw a group of four Mercs on the level below that were armed "I'll handle them, you go and handle Batroc."
"Merc Vs Merc, this should be on Pay Per View" Y/N fantasised
Steve then glared at Y/N and whisper yelled "Just go and find Batroc before he finds Nat" Steve then jumped back out of the window to battle the four Mercenaries.
Venom scoffed "Like Us Vs Batroc would ever be on Pay Per View, we'd wipe the floor with him."
Y/N picked up his swords and wiped the blood off onto the pirate's clothes "Obviously, duh"
Y/N left the bridge and ran down a corridor that Batroc had went "Oh I love it when they play hard to get" Y/N exclaimed as he kept his eyes peeled.
"Natasha or Batroc?"
Y/N stayed silent as he continued to hunt for the highly qualified and skilled Frenchman, however his hunt was short lived as when he burst out of the hallway and back onto the deck, he was met with a drop kick straight to the chest carried out by one Georges Batroc who then rolled backwards before doing a back flip and landing on his feet.
"Showoff" Venom commented as Y/N did a kip up to his feet as he readied himself to confront Batroc.
"Venompool, the Mercenary. I am the best Mercenary that there is" Batroc claimed in his thick French accent as he licked his lips and stared at Venompool.
Y/N cringed behind his mask "Please don't lick your lips whilst holding heavy contact, it's really giving off the vibe that you wanna fuck me rather than fight me."
Batroc then rolled up his sleeves and cracked his knuckles, Y/N just looked up to the heavens "Really rolling up the sleeves and cracking knuckles, did you learn all these things at Villain Camp"
"Guarantee he says a cliche line before he starts to fight."
As if on cue, Batroc looks dead at Y/N holding a determined expression "Prepare to die." He then walked towards Venompool.
"Called it" Venom says victoriously as Y/N groans loudly.
"Wait! Wait! Wait just a minute Georges St Pierre, totally see the resemblance. If I'm going to die" Y/N put extra emphasis on the die as if to mock Batroc who had stopped in his tracks, he then whipped out his phone "At least let me put on some music."
Batroc looked at Venompool like he was crazy and angrily asked in "What are you doing!?"
Y/N did a full body eye roll "Don't you know....... That's 4/4 string ostinato in D Minor. Every sailor knows that means Death!!!!!" Y/N dramatically brought his hands to cheeks with a shocked expression.
Batroc then tried to catch Venompool off guard but the highly enhanced individual was too quick for the Frenchman as Y/N landed a kick with the inside of his foot right on Batroc's jaw which made him stagger backwards four or five steps. The French Merc had to shake his head a few times to the sides in order to get himself back into the fight.
"I've honestly had more challenging wanks" Y/N quipped which only seemed to infuriate the bald man who proceeded to run at Venompool with some quite impressive speed as he managed to land a couple of blows onto Y/N's torso who just absorbed them with ease.
Y/N then launched himself at Batroc and tackled him to the floor, he aggressively grabbed one of Batroc's hands but more specifically his fingers "This little piggy went to market" he snapped Batroc's left index finger causing a roar of anguish from the man who desperately retaliated by pulling a small three inch blade from his pocket and driving it into Y/N's ribcage which meant Y/N's grip loosened allowing Batroc to slither backwards "Oh you sky french fox" Y/N said as he looked at blade that had made a new home in Y/N's side.
Y/N pulled the knife out of his side and instantly healed before using the knife as a projectile and it landed deeply into Batroc's shoulder who let out another painful scream.
Venompool decided that they were done toying and he sprinted at his enemy before leaping into the air and landing a devastating knee on the underside of Batroc's jaw, shattering it on impact. As Batroc fell to the floor, Y/N looked at the downed man and said "Rookie sensation Y/N L/N is taking the penalty kick." He makes his way towards Batroc "His form looks good" he then punts the bald man straight in the cranium.
"OHHHHHHH, he nails it straight into the top corner but what's this?" Y/N then mercilessly jumps straight onto Batroc's "This is a unbelievable scene, brutality at this level has not been seen before someone needs to get that French cocksucker out of there and quick"
Y/N then drove his toe straight into Batroc's eye and he was pretty sure that he'd now blinded him in that eye before he grabbed him the collar of his shirt and launched him through a metal door obliterating it on impact.
Y/N stepped in after Batroc and was ready to finish him off when a female voice said "Well this is awkward" Y/N turned to see Natasha partially leaning over a desk and he would be lying if he said that he wasn't a tad bit distracted.
"Hey there Merc, I see you clean up well" Natasha joked looking at the bloodied and unconscious Batroc.
Y/N removed his mask and went over to the redhead "When do I not Weasley?" He joked back "You alright, we were worried about you."
"It's sweet to see you care." Natasha pouted as she continued typing on the keyboard.
Y/N furrowed his eyebrows "Of course I care, you're my friend" The pair then looked intl each other's eyes for a few seconds before it was interrupted by a pissed off looking Steve.
"What are you doing?" He asks
Y/N steps away from Natasha as Venom chuckles "Way to get cockblocked"
Natasha plainly replies "Backing up the hard drive. It's a good habit to get into."
"I've told him this before" Y/N adds but Steve wasn't interested at this point in time.
Steve approaches his colleague "Rumlow needed your help. What the hell are you doing here?" He looks at what Natasha is backing up "You're saving SHIELD Intel."
"Whatever I can get my hands on" Natasha states as she finishes up on the keyboard.
Steve is still in disbelief at how uninterested Natasha seems "Our mission is to rescue hostages." He reiterates
"No. That's your mission." She finishes backing up and pulls the flash drive out. "And you two have done it beautifully."
"Fuck yeah, up top" He holds up his hand to Steve who leaves him hanging
"Not the time Y/N" Steve coldly states as Natasha goes to leave Steve grabs her arm "You just jeopardized this whole operation."
Y/N separates the two by forcing Steve to let go of Natasha's arm "Come on bud, we're all friends here besides no one's begetting hurt."
"They might be about to" Venom warns
Suddenly Batroc rises and throws a grenade at the two as he runs off, Steve deflects the explosive with his shield before Y/N grabs Natasha and Steve then jumps about ten feet through a window before it explodes. Y/N lets go as he rolls away as Steve and Natasha groan in pain as dust and debris comes down on their skin.
Natasha looks straight ahead "Okay. That one's on me."
Steve doesn't even look at Natasha "You're damn right." He gets up and storms off to join the others.
"Oh you're welcome" Venom sarcastically says directed to Steve.
Y/N then gets to his feet and goes over to Natasha, kneeling next to her "Are you alright?"
She nods and groans as Y/N helps her to her feet "Just a few cuts and bruises, nothing to worry about" She dusts herself off getting some of the grey off of her black catsuit and makes a surprising move by hugging Y/N and he hugs back "Thanks for back there" she released him after about five seconds.
"Hope may not be lost" Venom cheers bas he remains optimistic.
"Oh it's nothing, you know Steve he's always Captain Seriouspants, guess he fits in well with you S.H.I.E.L.D lot." He does a mock expression making Natasha smile which causes Y/N to smile in turn "You should smile more often, it makes you even hotter than you usually are."
She brushes his flirting off and asks "Are you alright?"
He gives himself the once over "Well I'm not dead but I do have a boner so that is something new about Y/N"
Natasha shakes her head as they make back to the others "Do you have any self control?" She genuinely asks.
"Not when I'm around you." He winked her
"You're an asshole, you know that?"
"Absolutely, but you don't hate me as much as I thought that hug only proves it." Y/N pridefully responds then he runs off before Natasha can deny it.
Unbeknownst to Y/N, Natasha says "You might be right about that" Letting her lips curve into a smile.