❝I didn't even want any of this.❞
Chapter 24 | fraud
The sky was dark today and one could be like the sky truly beautiful, as no one sees. The sky that shines the fair sun in the daytime, and brings joy and laughter. Or the milky moonlight at nighttime, the one that brought tranquility and peace. Or the sky could be the one that laughs cruelly as rain pours and the wind howls at someone's heart.
The sky today was much more the later than the first. Aera didn't know what to feel, all she felt was numb. How could Luce just leave her like that? She tired and tired but she couldn't muster that fickle emotion of anger within her. It wouldn't work, all she wanted to be was my Luce's side once again.
Instead she was by Will's, what was she even doing? Nothing, none of this was worth losing Luce. She searched the courtyard for him, hoping, as selfish as it was, that he was alone. She begged the god that never listened that Luce was alone, that he hadn't already made a friend, replaced her in this absence.
But alone he was not, instead he was intently listening as the lithe man next to him muttered something. He said something, and Luce laughed, that crooked grin of his grin coming out to play. Luce only ever laughed like that with her, she swallowed back the clump of jealousy that overcame her.
She wondered if he liked the guy, he did like both genders after all. She pushed back the thought, she had no right to assume anything about Luce's life. After all he was no longer her friend. He'd made that very clear yesterday.
"I need to use the bathroom" she mumbled to Will, and his eyes raked over her absent minded, careless. She pushed back the surge of annoyance she felt within her, "Alright, cool" Will replied, flashing her that dimpled grin of his. His green eyes twinkling under the bright glare of the sun.
He was still stunning, but nothing in Aera felt the same. Will never acted like the person from the letters, she'd pushed it back as shyness at first but now? Will was never shy, he always spoke his mind and he made friends way to easy to consider the possibility of him being sky. So then what was his problem?
What kept him from being the guy from the letter? Because this other person he was, Aera wasn't a particularly big fan of him. Sure, he was great, anyone could see that. But he was not the type of person Aera wanted to be with her, he was the type she would rather befriend.
But as Will leaned down and pressed his lips against her hesitantly, she resigned. It was a bit too late to be his friend now, she hummed against his lips and he pulled away. At least he was a good kisser. "I'm going" she called out, and turned away.
The issue of Will was just that, a issue. Aera didn't necessarily feel unhappy, but neither did she feel happy. She'd agreed to date Will because he'd written her those letters, but he was nothing like those letters. Pinching her lips together in frustration, she let her attention drift back onto to Luce as she walked towards the bathroom.
He was still laughing along to what the guy was saying, an unfamiliar pleasant look on his face. Aera turned away as her stomach churned, he looked happier without her. Why did he look happier without her? Her breath clogging up a bit, she unsteadily swung open the bathroom door.
She pushed open the bathroom door, and Ana was there. She was carefully patting on a layer of powder to her golden face, she turned towards Aera as she entered. Her pretty face held a sneer at first, and then it turned to a look of concern as she spots Aera. Aera wonders what she looks like at this moment.
"Are you quite alright?" Ana asks, a touch of unfamiliar concern on her face. Aera steadies herself against the door, and enters. "Why wouldn't I be?" she asks unsteadily, her voice unexpectedly cracking. That's quite odd, her voice was never the type to crack.
Ana walks over and places a delicate hand on Aera's shoulder, as if trying to steady her, or calm her. She points at Aera's cheek, "You're crying" she calmly says, and Aera stares at her, delusion heavy in her eyes. She backs up from Ana, and heads towards the bathroom mirror.
"I'm crying?" she mumbles, and sure enough, she is crying. A few droplets of tears are running down her pale cheeks, she reaches up and tries to desperately wipe them from her almond eyes. She doesn't know what does it, the look of concern from Ana, or Luce's voice suddenly coherent as he drifts by the bathroom, with that new friend of his.
Aera can't take it, she starts sobbing.
Her tears thread through her fingertips as she buries her face onto her hands, as her tears drip down, velvet soft to the touch. Ana looks startled in the corner, her golden face paling a bit as she stares at Aera. Ana looks almost nauseous, as if she's never seen anyone cry before.
She hesitantly walks over and pats Aera on the shoulder, an awkward distance from her. Aera resists the urge to laugh as she tries to pull herself together, still sobbing. "There, there, it's alright" Ana awkwardly says, but Aera doesn't think it's alright.
The dim light of the bathroom flickers a bit as it shines down on her, and Aera sobs even harder. Why on earth was she here? In a high school bathroom with a girl she barely knew, bawling her eyes out. Why wasn't she with Luce? She'd been by his side for 15 years, they'd been friends for 15 years. Why did everything just have to go and change?
How did she manage to fuck up the one thing in the world that ever mattered to her? She stared at Ana's pinched face, full of concern. And burst out laughing, Ana looked even more started now. She sallowed back more tears and forced out some words.
"You know I didn't even want to be popular?" she mused, and Ana looked utterly lost now. "What?" she questioned and Aera laughed tearily, her words rushed and unfamiliar now.
"I never cared about any of this, b-but my dad he wanted this for me. And it was his birth-birthday a few months back, and I-I tried to give him the only thing I could manage to" now" Aera uttered out, and Ana stared at her in disbelief.
"What" Ana asks again.
Aera just chuckled bitterly "I didn't tell Luce anything, because he would have never let me do this if he knew I didn't actually want it. And hell, I've always wanted more friends. But damn me if I gave a shit about all that, I don't want to go to parties. I don't want to drink, I don't fucking care about any of this" Aera leaned forward and grabbed Ana by the shoulder, Ana looked utterly startled.
" B-But my dad, he thought this could make me happy. He wanted me to want more, he didn't just want my time with Luce to be my only high school experience. H-He wanted me to go to parties to-to want more friends. To e-even want a boyfriend. To go get drunk, and have that full experience."
Ana just stared at her, an unfamiliar expression on her face. "Why do you even care so much what he thinks?" she mumbled, and pain flashed through Aera's face. Ana was clueless, so utterly clueless. And Aera was such a fool, so foolish.
"I-I never got to care when he was here, but he's dead now. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" she wheezed out, and Ana gulped. She remembered it now, she'd heard her friend Violet talk about it. It hadn't been too long ago either, only about seven months.
Seven months wasn't nearly enough time to get over someone's death, and apparently he'd died in a car crash, so it must have been so sudden. "I'm sorry" she whispered, and Aera frowned. She furiously swiped at her eyes, her expression one of utter frustration.
She gripped Ana's shoulder tightly "I-I don't know how you do it, all this bullshit. All the constant parties and smiling, and all those people who act like they're your friends but don't know a single thing about you. How the fuck do you do it? I-I tried for my dad, I tried to like it and maybe some times it wasn't that bad. I enjoyed myself, but I hate it at the same time. I don't want any of this." she wheezed.
"I didn't even want any of this, but now stupid fucking Luce Nova doesn't want to be my friend anymore. All because of this bullshit." she mumbled, and Ana flinched a bit at the tone in her voice. It was heartbroken, utterly heartbroken. Sure she sounded angry, Aera didn't strike her as the type to cuss. But she just sounded so heartbroken. Ana had heard that tone once before, she pushed the stupid memory back and smiled at Aera.
"Just go tell Luce" she said and Aera stared at her, confusion etched onto her features. Her round glasses slipped a bit down her nose, and Ana smiled wistfully to herself. Those glasses really didn't look half bad on her, she'd never needed those contacts. Ana was just a bit jealous at times.
"Tell him what?" she questioned and Ana resisted the urge to roll her eyes, Aera was definitely a bit slow at times though. "Tell him everything, with you and your dad. And how you never wanted any of it" she replied back, and Aera looked hesitant now. Ana nodded at her, flashing her what she hoped was a comforting smile.
Aera tentatively smiled back, she looked a bit lost now. As if realizing what was happening now, as if realizing that she'd cried in front of Ana and had told her way too much. As if realizing she was in a bathroom, crying with a person she barely even knew. She flushed a bit, as if in embarrassment. And then she nodded at Ana, some semblance of confident visible.
"I-I will."
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plot twist 🤪