I'm so damn sorry this took me so long.
I've been trying to get time to sit and write, but I couldn't.
I had planned to finish this by November so I could start with the new one, but I don't think I'll make it at this pace.
Sorry again.
I love you all 💓
Don't hate me.
Mag 🦋
SIX
Monday came faster than expected and, surprisingly, I had already adjusted to this new routine in the mornings.
Getting through with my Father duties as much as I could.
After a wonderful weekend shared with Freddie and Niall, I was taking him to school once again, helping him out of his brand new car seat - that I bought only two days before - and getting him to the entrance of the daycare.
Where, as always, his teacher was waiting for all the kids to get inside.
I shared a tiny smile with Harry at a distance, as Freddie and I got closer to the front entrance.
Kneeling down in front of my son, I pecked his forehead.
"Bye little lad, see you later."
But Freddie ignored me, huffing as he stepped away from me.
"I said bye, Freddie. Aren't you going to say goodbye to me?" - I said, reaching out to him and holding his shoulders.
He just shrugged, looking at the floor and avoiding my stare.
"What's up?" - I asked.
"Nothing. Wanna go school. Lemme." - He huffed, trying to get out of my grip.
"Wait, little lad, tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing." - He mumbled again. - "Bye Dad." - He said, shuffling out of my grip and running inside the building with his friends.
Frowning, I got up on my feet, now facing Harry.
"Hey."
"Hey, there." - Harry smiled.
"He's a bit moody today. So, keep an eye on him, will you?"
"Sure. How was your weekend with the little one?"
"Uhmm... We played some footie, watch Cars the movie like four times and ate popcorn." - I shrugged.
"But you're giving him more attention, right?"
"I'm trying." - I sighed. - "Though I don't know what I did today to get him to treat me like that."
"You're doing great. Kids only need attention. And you care for him. So, you're good. Believe me, there are parents that aren't present at all. That's not your case."
"I was those parents."
Harry sighed, stepping closer to me and resting a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
"Stop talking yourself down." - He smiled at me. - "Louis, all the things you're doing now, are working. So, don't stress, and enjoy being a father. It's probably one of the best things in life. If anything changes, I'll let you know. Alright?" - He said, smiling sweetly at me. - "Kids have their days too. Just like us."
"Alright." - I nodded, looking back at the door of the school and feeling a little better. - "Take care of him, yeah?"
"That is literally my job." - Harry laughed. - "Bye, Louis."
He let go of my shoulder, sending a quick wink towards me, and turning around to welcome another kid.
I let out deep breath I didn't know I was holding and, with a stupid smile on my face and a feeling of relief, I quickly returned to my car.
🌈
After hours of reading, correcting, rereading, writing and searching for loopholes in many many contracts, my head was exploding.
Without even looking at the clock, I decided it was time for me to take my lunch break.
I poured myself a glass of water and swallowed a pill for my headache.
It had been a killing morning, three contracts for big businesses, one divorce of wealthy people and a few yells from a secretary.
Above all that, my work phone just kept buzzing and I still needed to stay two more extra hours to start working on that Pro Bono case with my boss.
So, when I started feeling a little better, I reached out for my phone, to at least reply some of the emails and calls I had been ignoring all morning.
Though, it wasn't my work phone the one that was ringing in that moment.
It was my personal one.
Three texts from Harry.
Louis, I know you're at work.
I'm so sorry to bother you.
But there's something I believe you need to know.
It's about Freddie. Can you maybe come over to the daycare before the end of the day?
Of course, Harry. I'll try and be there.
Is this an emergency?
Nothing happened to Freddie. He's okay.
It's just something that he did today.
I believe you need to see it, and maybe we could talk about it?
Alright. He's not injured, right?
No, he's completely okay.
Good. I'll see you in a bit, then.
Thank you.
I had no idea what Harry wanted, but I wasn't going to miss it, not if he sounded so concerned about whatever it was.
And even less if it involved Freddie.
So, excusing myself with my boss and promising I'd be back for our meeting after hours, I practically flew out of the building and made my way to the daycare.
I knew Brianna was picking Freddie up, just like every other day, so it didn't worry me when I got there and all the kids were already gone.
Harry, with his usual bright smile, was resting by the door, talking relaxedly with another teacher.
But, when he saw me getting closer, he quickly said his goodbyes and turned entirely to face me, holding the door open.
"Louis, Thank you for coming today. I was really sorry for telling you to come here with such short notice."
"It's quite alright, Harry. No problem."
"Okay, we'll talk in the classroom, is that okay? There's something I need to show you."
"Yeah, that's fine." - I shrugged, passing by him and then he closed the entrance door behind us.
Walking ahead of me, he led the way towards the classroom with that blue door I was so used to see nowadays.
"So, Louis. I didn't want to worry you." - He started, taking seat on his chair behind the desk. I slowly sat down on the chair in front of him. - "But I really needed to ask you if something had happened at home with Freddie."
"At home? Something like what?"
"Any kind of argument? A fight maybe? Anything that he could have felt as violent."
"I..." - I stopped myself, thinking. - "Why are you asking me this?"
Harry sighed, taking a piece of paper out of one of his drawers.
"He drew this." - He said and showed me an abstract drawing all painted in red, black and gray. - "When I asked him what this was, he said it was blood and anger." - He pointed.
Most of it were just doodles, lines and curves. Nothing like what Freddie usually draws.
"Oh my God, why?"
"I don't know. Drawings are usually a way of expressing for children. So, I'm sure this is his way of canalize something he experienced. I had to inform you of this, and also If there are other signs of violence moving forward, you need to know I will have to call authorities."
"No, please! Harry, I swear nothing major happened. Please believe me. I don't know where this is coming from." - I shook my head and glanced at the drawing again. - "I mean, Briana and I had an argument the other day, about Freddie, maybe he heard it. But it never got out of hand."
Harry sighed, running a hand on his curls, pushing them back and out of his forehead.
"I believe you, Louis. But my job is to inform when this kind of things happen. We don't know exactly how children's brain work, maybe he thinks this argument is going to turn into something else, maybe he feels pressured to choose between his mother and his father, maybe he sees a threat. We can't know unless he sees a professional."
"What do you mean?"
"Freddie is well aware that his parents aren't together. But he never showed any signs of caring about it. He always idolized you and his mother equally. But maybe, now your divorce is getting to him. Maybe his brain is starting to understand that. What I'm saying, when parents divorce, usually leave a trauma to the children, some of them feel abandoned, some of them are left with insecurities and trust issues, maybe seeing you argue with Brianna made his brain trigger something else." - He explained.
"Wow." - I sighed. - "I didn't know children so young could have... traumas."
"They can." - He smiled sadly. - "Louis, you might want to get a therapist for Freddie. I think it's the best thing to do in this case. It'll help him. I can even recommend you one who specializes on toddlers and younger children."
"Sure, I... I need to talk to Freddie's mother first, but sure. I will give them a call as soon as possible. Can I keep the drawing?" - I asked, grabbing the drawing back in my hands and folding it to put it inside my bag.
"Yes, of course."
"Thank you for telling me this. You've been a great help in the past weeks."
"I only want the best for my kids." - He smiled. - "And communication with the family is key."
"Yeah, I get that." - I said, slowly standing from the chair. - "If that's all, I should probably get back to work. I kinda left my boss waiting for me." - I snorted.
"Please don't get yourself fired." - He joked and I shook my head.
"Let's hope not."
Harry stood up as well, walking me to the blue door of his classroom and then following me down the hallway towards the exit of the building.
I felt some kind of tension in the air, too thick it could be sensed by anyone who was passing by.
Thank God we were alone though.
Because that was the only reason I could have been brave enough to ask him what has been on my mind for days now.
"Harry..."
"Yes?"
"Do you text with all the parents of your students?"
"Oh." - He stopped in his tracks. - "Not really." - He mumbled.
"It's just me?"
"Kinda. I don't usually give my personal number to parents. Unless it's an emergency or something." - He bit his lip.
"Then why?"
"Why you?" - He inquired.
"Why me?" - I nodded.
"Because I care about Freddie."
"Then why not Brianna?"
"Because you asked for my help. To be better."
I nodded knowing he was right, but that he also could have refused.
Yet, he didn't.
"And I appreciate it. Everything you're doing. And, I enjoy... uhmmm texting you." - I said, almost whispering the last part. - "But if this... if this is weird for you, you don't have to do it, you know? You told me the other day, it was... Inappropriate. Texting, I mean."
"It kinda is. At the moment, yeah. But I doesn't have to be."
"What?"
"I... I don't think is a bad idea to keep helping you. And, you're good at listening. It's easy to talk to you. Not like other parents and... That's why I want to help you. Like... more like a friend."
"Wouldn't that make things more awkward?"
"Not really. Things are awkward if we make them awkward." - He shrugged. - "We can... Meet outside school? Like, in a friendly way. Not in a teacher - father of my student way."
"Like, hang out together?" - I frowned, surprised.
"Yeah..." - He side smiled, resting against the wall of the hallway. - "In a not awkward way."
"Okay." - I mumbled out of nowhere.
Without even thinking through it.
"Okay?" - He smiled widely.
"Yeah, you're... A great guy. I could... We could hang out, yeah. In a not awkward way."
"Okay." - He laughed. - "I should let you get going now though, you don't want to be late to work. But I'll think of something we can do this week, yeah?"
"Sure, yeah."
Harry placed a hand on my shoulder, guiding me out of the building as he held the door open.
"Think about what I told you of Freddie. I'll text you the number of that therapist I told you about. Let me know if he draws anything else."
"Yes, I'll keep an eye on him."
"Good. See you, Lou."
I bit a smile, secretly liking the nickname that came out of his lips. It was actually nice to hear it on his voice, in his accent.
Almost, almost like it was a natural thing for him to say.
"Bye, Harry." - I said, stepping closer and giving him a quick hug. - "Thank you."
He laughed in my ear and rubbed my back softly before breaking apart.
"You're welcome."
I took a step back and turned around, heading back to my car with a growing smile on my face.
Before opening the door, I turned to look at Harry one last time, waving goodbye at him and receiving a happy warm smile in return.
Not awkward at all.